No Promises

chapter seven

"We're filling the freezer when we get back," I tell him, looking over at Isla. "And the vanilla ice cream is what makes it so good."

"I'm sure," she says as she sinks back, leaning her head back as a yawn leaves her lips. A snicker falls from my lips as Greyson shoots me a look, subtly agreeing to my statement despite it not being a question. For a while, it's easy to just get lost in the passing scenery and forget about everything else.

When I hear Isla's breathing slow, I shift my gaze behind me to see she's nodded off and her head it rested gently against the window, my attention moves back to Greyson. "Can I ask you something?"

He nods and the warmth that once filled me is suddenly gone, my skin becoming chilled as I play with the chain around my neck. Maybe it's none of my business, and maybe I'm going to burn something that's been good, but I feel like we're dancing around it.

"You don't have to answer it."

He looks at me and lifts an eyebrow. "What exactly are you planning to ask me?"

"Nothing bad," I assure him before pointing to the road ahead. "Pay attention."

"Yes, ma'am," he says with a grin, making his eyes bluer, if that's even possible. "Rob, whatever it is, I'm sure it's fine. Just ask."

"Why the photo?" I ask, lifting my gaze to see if I pushed a nerve I shouldn't have. "I mean, you said that you shouldn't have held onto it, but you have been."

"It's hard to let to go," he says, and I watch as he swallows. "She meant everything to me, and then suddenly, she was just out of my life like she was never there to begin with. It's pathetic, but I don't know, maybe a part of me thought she'd come back."

"I'm sorry." I frown. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"No, it's a fair question," he says, running his fingers through his hair. "Mia... I guess, we just had different plans for what we wanted our lives to look like."

"So... it wasn't distance?"

He looks at me, and I can see the truth in his eyes. "No, it wasn't the distance. I grew up with distance. My dad travels the world for a living. He was only ever home for six months out of the year, eight or ten if we were lucky, and I grew up with my best friend on the other side of the country. I can make distance work."

I always wondered how they managed. It's been less than five years since I left Utah, and my relationship with my dad, it's different. Strained. I only ever hear from him a few times a year, and eventually, I know it'll be never. I came to terms with that a long time ago, but Greyson, Stevie, Riker, and Isaac, their dad travels the world six months out of the year, most of the time, and I've never seen a stronger bond. It's almost like the distance didn't matter because they made the time he was home important.

"When was the last time you saw her?"

"It's been a while," he says. "It's probably for the best."

"Yeah." I nod, chewing my bottom lip. "I'm sorry for bringing it up."

"It's okay," he says, moving his hand to the bottom of the steering wheel as he considers his words. "Makes it less awkward for me to ask about you."

"Me? What about me?"

"You were dating someone, weren't you?"

A groan falls from my lips as I throw my head back. "Don't remind me."

"That bad?" He shoots me a knowing look.

"He... he was something else." I exhale, even thinking about him is making my head spin. It wasn't long after junior year that I started seeing Chase. He was sweet at first. A football player at a rival school, but it didn't matter. I liked him, and I thought he liked me. "He just... he wanted me to be the version of me he wanted me to be, and I wasn't okay with that. That and he expected me to date one person but figured he didn't have to."

"Shit."

"Yeah, shit," I say before smiling. "It's okay."

"No, it's not," he says. "He's a fool for letting go of you."

The corner of my lip curls up. "Thanks, but honestly, he did me a favor. I'm eighteen. I'm just starting university and I get to do what Stevie doesn't get to. I get to have fun and that sounds like exactly what I need. Nothing tying me down."

"So, you aren't looking for a relationship?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I'm not against one."

"But not actively looking?"

"More like... going with the flow."

"Good to know."

I give him a look before shifting my gaze back to the road, running my tongue over my bottom lip before my curiosity gets the best of me. "Why are you asking?"

Stupidly, a small part of me wants him to be asking for himself, but I know better than that. It's forbidden. It's an idea that has no substance. Greyson and me is a fantasy I will never have. I know that, and yet my mind lets me fuel it with the smallest of hope.

"Jonas."

My brows knot together as I look at him. "Jonas?"

"He may or may not be interested."

"May or may not?" I smile weakly. "Really?"

He nods. "He asked me to scope out what you thought of the idea, but you clearly have a plan for this year and it doesn't include a musician with a track record."

"Hey! You don't know that," I argue, chewing on my bottom lip. "Would you be okay with that? If I were interested?"

"Should I not be?"

"No, I didn't mean it like that." I shake my head as I sit up straight, suddenly feeling exposed. "It's just that he's your writing partner and you see him every day. I don't want to make things awkward or complicated for you by seeing him."

I cross my fingers behind my back, hoping he might just tell me no. That he doesn't want me to see him and that it will make things complicated for him. If he tells me no, then that means I'll stay single and my options will be open. And by options, I mean Greyson. I want Greyson to be an option and the longer I try to tell myself he's not, the more I want him to be.

"It's fine, Rob," he says, giving me a calm smile as he drums his finger across the bottom of the wheel. "If you want to see him, I'm good with it."

I nod my head. "Okay, then... I guess, I'll think about it."