A Menagerie of my Thoughts

Awake and Dreaming

Does the light outshine the dark?
Does the good outshine the bad?
Are we awake at all?
Or just stuck in a dream?
The answer is nebulous,
but
don't lose hope,
the future is present.
Yesterday is the only thing that doesn't matter,
Yet seems most important.
Until you realize hope doesn't exist;
all you want is yesterday again.
When Death's icy grip rips you away from love,
and life;
you slip slowly away to his cold embrace,
where the only lights are the shadows.
You find yourself finally waking up, praying for a way out,
but no one cares enough to pull you back.
You shrivel,
shrink looking for the miracle that will never come.
All that's left is the misery;
pain,
at least until the numbness takes over your brain.
But don't worry,
you'll be alright
until you lose your will to fight.
You'll lose your childish fantasies of one day being rescued,
and replace them with the less effervescent reality that you'll never escape.
This labyrinth with all of its twists and turns,
leading you further from the fake salvation promised by the centre.
This is no labyrinth you see,
it's a maze
with no beginning,
or end,
and you're too weak to create either.
You've lost the strings tethering you to the physical world,
And gained... knowledge perhaps.
But at what price?
You won't ever feel again.
You've gained freedom from the artificiality of this world,
but are now bound to the other,
you've gained wisdom,
but not without paying
in your own freedom.
Unfortunately my dear,
this decision is permanent.
Though you really could not have done anything differently your choices won't stop destroying you.
They'll keep shattering you until there are no pieces left to destruct.
Does the light outshine the dark?
There is no light anymore.
Despite your best efforts and last attempts at somehow getting back, despair will corrupt your very being, and everything you once held dear
will fade into the distant past.
You won't ever be able to share your tale with those who still cling to the thought of hope,
Caught in a web of pleasant lies
That Life offers.
You should have cherished every moment you spent in Life's fictitious caress,
now as you spend more time in this maze,
you see other phantasms,
spectres who have made the same mistakes as you.
Try as you might,
they won't help you,
truth is
they don't know how
themselves.
It's okay,
you can't help them either.
No one can help any of you,
except maybe
me,
but I won't.
Do you know why?
Because you're too pathetic.
You don't deserve to be helped.
Does the good outshine the bad?
There is no good anymore.
Do you think eventually the paralysis will ware off?
You shouldn't.
Shouldn't expect good,
it'll lead to more disappointment
as we've already established.
Where would you be I wonder,
If I hadn't found you.
Would you have taken the other path?
It doesn't matter,
everything ends up here eventually.
Are we awake,
or in a dream?
The answer is neither.
Neither state exists.
All of those people
That you thought cared about you don't
Anymore
They got over you briskly,
you aren't worth it.
Soon they will suffer the same fate, maybe even worse than yours.
What road will you take now?
Oh wait,
you lost the right to decide.
It died,
Along with your dignity,
faith,
everything really.
Fire,
ice
what does it matter?
You can't feel anyways.
You've lost that right as well.
How does it feel?
Knowing it won't ever get better again?
Soon every memory of you
will cease to exist;
you will as well,
along with those memories,
and everything you once thought
was permanent.
Look on the bright side,
at least you've realized nothing lasts forever.
Not even life.