Blue Jay

Coward

A/N: HEY GUYS, REALLY SORRY THAT THIS WASN'T UP SOONER:L I MEANT TO UPDATE YESTERDAY BUT IT WAS SOO LATE AND I ACTUALLY FELL ASLEEP WRITING THIS!! LOL ANYWAYS SORRY ABOUT THAT NEXT UPLOAD HOPEFULLY TODAY BUT IF NOT TOMORROW :) THANK YOU LOVE YOU GUYS :D xxx 

__________________________________

I am sitting mournfully at the kitchen table, staring down at my hands when Ivy walks in, slamming the door behind her, roughly pulling out a chair and dropping sharply into it. It's been two weeks since Hazel was Taken, two weeks since our family started falling apart. 

"I don't know what you're so sad about." She says nastily. "Here you are, feeling sorry for yourself, when our mother is wasting away upstairs!" 

I don't say anything, knowing that she was never the level headed one. No, that was Hazel. She was the calm, collected one who always knew what she was doing. She was the glue that held us all together, and without her, we aren't coping well at all.  

"Don't you care?" 

"Of course I do." I mumble quietly, 

"What was that?" She asks sharply, 

"I said," I raise my voice, "of course I care!" 

Ivy stares at me coldly. "Well don't go feeling sorry for yourself. Don't be such a selfish little brat." 

I grind my teeth, biting my tongue to restrain myself from snapping back at her. Unfortunately, it looks like she wants to pick a fight. 

"Hel-lo? Our mother is not well, Destamona, and all you can do is sit there doing nothing!" 

Ivy is right, our mother is wasting again, sinking into herself, sinking into depression. She just sits there, for hours, staring at something we can't see, and neither me nor my sisters can console her. She won't listen to Serena's pleas, she won't listen to Ivy when she goes up to her and tries to bring her back to us, she doesn't hear my quiet sobs, doesn't see the tears leaking out of my eyes when I go into her room, she sees nothing, none of us. So Ivy, Serena and I have been looking after ourselves, doing the laundry, cooking the food, earning what little money we can. But it's not enough. We are slowly but surely starving to death. Ivy is too young, too silly and shallow to look after her two sisters, and the house as well. She has her life to live, and I think she feels like this has been pushed onto her unfairly. With Hazel gone, and our mother so withdrawn, Ivy has taken it upon herself to look after us. It is making her so tired. Serena and I can't go a day without her snapping at us for something. We have learnt to ignore it, and Serena knows we have to support each other. Fighting won't help now. 

"Destamona!" Ivy snapped at me. She has never called me by my preferred name, 'Mona' like Rena and Mum and Hazel, "Don't you even have the decency to apologise?!" 

This hit a nerve. Anger bubbled up inside me like molten magma, sizzling and furious at my sister, at how she had treated Rena and I, at how she didn't think about anyone but herself.  

"Apologise? APOLOGISE?" I yell, "Who do you think you are?!" 

"I'm your older sister," she screams back, "so DON'T SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!" 

"I'LL SPEAK TO YOU HOWEVER I BLOODY WELL WANT TO!" I am shaking with rage now, my hands clenched, tips of my ears red. I can see a vein throbbing in Ivy's forehead. 

"YOU STUBBORN, SELFISH BRAT! YOU DON'T GIVE A DAMN DO YOU? YOU DON'T CARE THAT HAZEL LEFT, YOU COULDN'T GIVE A RATS FART THAT YOUR OWN MUM IS SICK AND DYING! YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT YOURSELF, DESTAMONA, AND YOU KNOW IT!" 

"SHUT UP! SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, TELLING ME WHAT I DO AND DON'T CARE ABOUT?! YOU DON'T KNOW A THING, IVY SWAN!" 

"I SAW YOU, WHEN HAZEL WAS LEAVING! YOU DIDN'T WANT TO LOOK! YOU COWARD! YOU ARE AN INSULT TO HER MEMORY--" 

I hate her. I am furious. I want to hurt her. Make her pay for what she said. How dare she? How dare she say those things. I love my sister, I love Hazel. I want to remember how she was, not how she is now. 

I don't know what makes me do it, but I do something I have never done before. With all my strength, I slap my sister round the face. SMACK. It makes a cracking sound so loud I feel it. I regret it instantly, as soon as I see the red mark welling up on Ivy's cheek, disfiguring her face. She is shaking, and crying as well, whether in pain or in anger I can't tell. Maybe it is both. She raises her fist, preparing to repay the favour, I close my eyes and flinch, waiting for the sharp pain. But it doesn't come. Opening my eyes, I see my mother restraining my sister. Serena comes rushing into the kitchen and pulls me up the stairs to her room on the third floor of our tall, thin, unstable house. 

"What was that?" She asks sternly. 

"She provoked me!" I protest, 

"Explain." She orders. So I do. I tell her everything. By the time I have finished, I am in tears. Remorse at what I did, anger at what she said. 

"Oh, Mona." Rena says, "it was bound to happen someday." She hugs me, "Mum's much better now. She heard you two shouting and woke up straight away." Rena says soothingly. 

"Good." I mumble. 

At last our mother has come back to us, at last we can get back to our normal life, with a mother by our sides. Except ... It won't be normal. How could it, when a shadow is cast over our house, over our hearts?

__________________________________

A/N: HEYA :) NEXT UPLOAD HOPEFULLY TODAY BUT IF NOT TOMORROW :D THANK YOU GUYS SOO MUCH!! I'M AFRAID THE NEXT CHAPTER IS A BIT OF A FILLER:L [BELIEVE ME, THEY'RE JUST AS BORING TO WRITE AS THEY ARE TO READ!] AND PROBABLY QUITE SHORT AS WELL [SORRY :(] BUT I PROMISE THAT THE NEXT ONE AFTER THAT WILL BE MUCH LONGER, MUCH MORE EXCITING AND MUCH MUCH BETTER :) MAJOR EVENT COMING UP GUYS!! :D. xx