Charlatans of Revenge

4. Day in the Life of Murderers

CW: Murder, swearing, decapitation mention, threats, food, dismemberment mention

Catnip was a quiet person, in and out of work. That didn't mean they were simple. They awoke at four am. They didn't mean to or necessarily want to but it was time to feed Strawberry, their duck. Well, according to Strawberry. So they got up with a small protest, and attached their right leg to their thigh. A lot of people had missing limbs but instead of a power hungry mob boss, Catnip lost their leg to a plain old birth defect. Which was fine.

It was a cold morning, the sun wouldn't rise for an hour or two and they just wanted to be back in bed before their roommate yelled at them. But that didn't happen. Catnip sighed loudly when their phone gave off an alert. When they looked it said 'There's a meeting in an hour, don't be late, I won't cover for you ;p' from a contact that says 'Asshole #1'. Affectionate. Catnip sent a thumbs up emoji and picked up their duck once more. They quietly opened their roommate's door and led the duck inside. She could deal with Strawberry.

The mob uniform was simple and yet people attempted to personalize it anyways. Catnip themself wasn't free of this either. The suit jacket was replaced with a lab coat and instead of a simple face covering, they opped for goggles. They weren't really sure why, it just looked nice with the tie. Catnip finished this off and met up with their... associates.

"Yo Catnip! Saved you a spot." One called, Catnip recognized him as Wolf. He seemed like he was going to prank you but it would never come to his mind until the opportunity passed. "Did you get Lion's text?"

Catnip cleverly disguised their clenched fist as the sign for yes. Wolf continued talking to them until eventually, Lion appeared. Lion was a shapeshifter, or would be if she had the stamina. It was painful to shift your bones where they're not supposed to be. Catnip sympathized with that, maybe mostly because they've known each other for a while, but it still counted. Catnip nodded slightly at Lion as a greeting, which was reciprocated with a punch.

"Do you guys know where Oryx went?" Lion started, sitting down in his spot. "We were supposed to do a job last night but she didn't show."

Wolf and Catnip shrugged. There was no more time for conversation as the people saw an average height woman walking to the front of the room, holding a simple cane with the head of a barn owl at the top, resembling the full face mask on her face. The room was really just a basement in the suburb that was going to be made until it ran out of money, so the project was discontinued. There were about ten soldiers without counting the three capos behind the Owl. Even with the mask, Catnip could tell she would kill everyone in this room in a heartbeat. They sat up properly, and others did as well.

"The demand for larceers is growing as the summer solstice is approaching. Soon you will all get invited to the Vigor Ball and I expect each and every one of you to buy and sell larceers. This is important for the mob. If you do not manage to buy a larceer and return them to me, I will personally pull all the fingernails of your fingers, or cut off your head. Depending on how I feel." In this moment, Catnip saw people sweating or shifting in their seats. They laced their fingers together to keep themself from appearing nervous. The Owl clapped her hands together and continued. "You have a week to collect at least five larceers, which should be simple. Remember that when you go to buy, our goal is for eye based powers and if not that you better find something rarer. Dismissed."

Catnip walked away with Lion and Wolf. Blue Jay, their... manager told them to start collecting immediately.

"Wanna hang at my place for a game plan?" Wolf asked once they were out of the suburb. He put his hands on the back of his head, to start undoing his disguise. "I have frozen pizza."

Lion and Catnip both agreed easily and eventually they made it into his apartment without the notice of anyone. Lion undid her hair, though it was always covering her right eye. Wolf pulled off his mask and gloves and started getting the pizza. Catnip watched Lion get comfortable on the couch while Wolf jumped up to sit on his counter. They eventually joined after pulling up their goggles, ridding their evil scientist appearance.

"I'll start doing research to find easy targets to get the larceers." They signed to Lion who repeated it so that Wolf, who wasn't in the room, could understand what was happening.

"Sounds good! It's my turn to carry out the kills, right?" Wolf clarified.

"Don't sound too excited, Magnus, one might think you enjoy your job." Lion rolled their eye.

Catnip mocked a gasp just as Magnus walked in with a plate of newly heated pizza. Magnus stared at the two, with not murder in his eyes. He sat down on the other side of the couch. "I don't ENJOY it, it's just comparatively the least boring thing we have to do. C'mon! Mous does the research, Leo does the murder, and I do the murder better. We all have our places!"

"Hey I basically made someone freeze in fear two days ago, just by doing my natural shapeshifting thing."

"Shapeshifting is cheating." Mous contributed, and then took a piece of pizza. "Also I think she's a new agent, so it doesn't count."

"They're right, Leo. Everyone's scared of you at first. Especially S.A.F.E. agents who definitely didn't grow up here." Magnus took a big bite of his crust first. "If we're going to fight over this our powers can't be included in our scare factor. That's just unfair for both of you."

"Oh my god, you're such an asshole!"

After a bit more of fighting, they eventually finished the pizza and started working on their goal. Mous managed to find three people. They needed to make sure that they had no affiliations with the Owl or the Vigor family. It would be useless to upset the person they worked for and who they were buying from. And Mous made sure they wouldn't die from losing their specific limbs. Losing a hand is better than losing heart, at least. Tomorrow these people would hurt but Mous did what they needed to do. They decided to go home and work on their classes for college. Had to do what they had worked so hard to pay for.

They checked their emails and saw that Professor Brown had an assignment due in a week. Mous glared at their screen in contempt. What a week they were going to have.