Dear best friend,
No matter whoever reads this might think they are the so called "Best friend" but I don't call anyone my best friend. But I'm sure after reading this that person who is my "best friend" will know. I called you my person because I trust you and wanted you to be the one to say anything. You broke my trust once and that once was enough. After that I knew you had to be the one. The one I wanted to pass everything to. I wanted you to be the one I talk to when I needed it even if you don't say anything. But I need you to know something. I gave up fate and destiny over a boy because my heart was broken. And you were somehow the one to make it slowly get better. I gave up the thoughts of soulmates and love after my heart was shred to pieces, but I don't blame them. So, tell them I don't blame them for breaking my heart or making me give up on fate and destiny. I still believe in soulmates and love because I wish that in people. My favorite holiday will forever be Valentine's Day because it's a beautiful day for people who love each other. I still remember the recent Valentine's Day with a boy. He smiled at me and it gave me butterflies in my stomach. My heart was beating so much, and I could feel my cheeks burning. It felt so unreal that just his smile made me feel like that. I hold that memory in my heart and I don't want to forget it. It's a memory that I cherish so much, and I wish I could've had more of those. So "Best friend" could you tell that boy thank you for me? Tell him I'm thankful for that beautiful memory that will forever be in my heart. I know I could've told him myself, but I'm scared to tell him personally. So please "best friend"? And "best friend" please don't blame them for my sadness. They did what they thought was right and I respect that. "Best friend" can you not tell the rest of my friends that you're my "best friend"? They shouldn't think they are left in the dark. "Best friend"...You've done so much for me without even knowing. You've made me laugh and smile so much recently. You deal with my shit and giving me the answers, I needed. I always told you that I must be the one to die first and that you're not allowed at my funeral. I genuinely don't want you there. I'm not dying or planning to die anytime soon (unless the universe has other plans). But I don't want you to witness the people that so call "care about me". I want you go be at my grave when my funeral ends. You can say your words then and I want you to leave a single red rose. You see I love roses and a red rose is so beautiful. I always wished I could've gotten on from someone, but you could do it when I'm gone. "Best friend" on my birthday can you leave photocards on my grave with a rose? When Ateez and StrayKids win awards can you leave a rose and a card saying "I knew you could do it Ateez/StrayKids"? And whenever you find a new K-pop group that you'd think I'd like, can you leave a picture of them on my grave? Whenever Ateez has a comeback can you sit at my grave and tell all about the album? And can you sometimes visit and tell me how you are doing? I'd like to know that you're doing good while I'm gone. "Best friend"...I'm scared to die. That I'm going to leave you behind. That I'm going to leave the people I care about behind. But don't forget about me...Please? I know I told you to forget about me after I'm dead but please don't. I want you to be the one that remembers me. I want you to visit my grave and tell me anything. Even if I'm dead and I can't talk to you. I want you to know that I'd be right by your side and listening to you at my grave. So please don't forget about me okay? When I die please don't grieve? I don't want you to be sad about my death. But when I do die can you please play "Don't want to acknowledge" by Bangchan and "One day at a time" by Ateez? Both of those songs got me through my bad days. And if you ever meet StrayKids or Ateez can you tell them that I miss and love them so much and that I believe in them so much? And that I will forever be cheering them on and that I was smiling for them as I left this world. Because they mean the world to me. "Best friend" I'm writing this to you because you're the one I trust to do these things. I believe in you and I wish the absolute best for you. So please live a long life and cherish it. I'll always be by your side when you're in the dark and I hope you find someone who is your person. Because I know I'm not your person, but you are mine. So, live long and do what your heart wants. Because just doing what your mind tells you won't make you happy. Your heart knows what makes you happy. Follow your heart and live happily for me. I hope you know that this is for you "best friend". I hope you realized that this is for you. And only you. No one else but for you. I hope you realized after all the hints I gave you. I hope you read this and realize this is for you. I wish that you realize it and realize that I think of you as the one.
