believe again || bokuto

sixteen

sixteen

you started to run and stopped in front of your house. it was in front of your place that you realized you have been running the entire way. it was an escape from the thought of bokuto. running was something you always did to get your mind off oikawa.

since then, this was the first time you ran this far, to get your mind off bokuto. you knew your parents wouldn't be home so you straight went to your room and lied down, empty headed.

you couldn't hold it in anymore. you needed to get this weird feeling out somwhwere, to someone, so you decided to call sakura.

sakura arrived half an hour later you called, meanwhile you lied on your bed, thinking of someone particular's face and the warmth near them. you thought of holding that someone's hand and bringing it on your cheek, feeling it's warmth and inhaling it's scent. you thought of that person smiling at you, and your heart wanting to dissolve into the clouds above your head.

you quickly shook your head slapped your cheeks, intentionally hurting yourself to come out of those bizarre thoughts you let yourself drown into.

this made you think the worse, you liked all those dumb thoughts, you craved for something like that to happen. without a doubt, you'd wanna feel his presence near yours.

you might like him.

your saviour, sakura rang the bell and pulled you out from that drowning thoughts. you went down to open your door and she hugs you tight.

"everything alright?" you asked, concerned.

"you tell me." she breaks the hug.

"let's go upstairs." you both jogged to your room and sat on your bed.

it was the time to gossip.

"you called me out of the blues. plus you kinda feel distant y/n." she pouts as she plays with the button of her shirt.

"yeah, i am aware i haven't really been a good friend. but how's things going with tobio-kun?"

"he's busy with practice, his matches are soon." she pouts, once again.

"you tell me what's going on." she raised her eyebrows, waiting for you to spill the tea.

"it's a long story sakura. you wanna hear everything?"

"that's why i am here."

"so.... you know bokuto..."

"you've been spending a lot of time with him. is there something between? huh? huh?" she smirked, poking you teasingly.

"he's weird. remember the moment i told his team that i think love was stupid?"

she nods her head.

"from that day on, he promised to make me believe into something that doesn't exist for me." or just might...

"what the fuckkkkk!???? why didn't you tell me!!!!!"

"i was confused as hell as well but he kept pestering me from that day on until that presence of him wasn't a pester anymore...."

she made a confused face.

"i know!! i am confused too. he keeps on saying he'll make me believe in love and he keeps walking me home and treating me good, too good and taking me out to eat and spending time with me, talking to me, waiting for me and actually trying to make me believe in love but it's just got too far, i think i might be-" you stopped for a while, thinking about your feelings towards bokuto.

then you continued, "the day he doesn't wait for me after school, he makes me feel uneasy, the day i don't see him, i feel uneasy, when he practices for too long, i get worried and just one look at him, all my worries, negativity vanishes away. its like he's succeeding in his cause and i don't know what to-" you were about to cry when she holds your hand and gently squeezes it.

"i am just afraid of him proving himself right." you sniffed.

"you like him, y/n." she had a serious/concern look on her face with a blend of pityness for your suffering.

you shook your head. "i don't want to." you were crying now.

"you can't control how you feel." sakura slowly let you take in her words.

"i am... scared." you sniffed as tears rolled down your cheeks, making a complete mess of your face.

sakura knew exactly what you were scared of, the thought of someone leaving you, falling out of love with you. making you feel stupid for all that love you felt in the first place. breaking your heart into so many pieces that you may lose and never be able to love again.

"y/n." sakura takes a deep breath, squeezing your hand and consoling you.

"love isn't guaranteed. you will never be sure about your future, specially about someone's feeling toward you or anything. the best and the bravest thing you can do is to admit yours."

"let that person know that you love him. its about the risk, taking a leap of faith in that person."

"what if one day he just decides to walk away?" you looked at her with teary eyes.

she sighed, thinking of an answer, "then you thank him for all the lessons, learn and grow to be a better person. and then you love, again in a better way."

"hun, life will go on, with or without anyone, doesn't mean you have to be alone and longing for someone. take your risks and uncertainties and just listen to your heart, if it says it loves a certain person, pursue him. there is no greater joy than the certainty of the heart. when your heart knows what it wants. what it needs."

you sniffed, taking time to absorb her words and opening your heart. the war between you brain trying to keep you protected and away from l o v e and your heart wanting to take the chance despite the uncertainty, wanting to think of the possibilities was too violent.

after sakura went home, greeting your parents on her way downstairs, you crawled on your bed and gave her words a thought.

now that you were certain that you liked him and there was no point in being stubborn and not admitting it to yourself.

the question was to how to let him know?

author's note:
heyy, how are you all?
thank you for 1k reads
in this book!! y'all so
amazing!!!

anyway, what anime are you
watching atm? i am watching
hunter x hunter and i am
hooked!