» t h e s o l i l o q u y « 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗𝚎'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚋𝚢 𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚘𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚛𝚜
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we're caught up in a war we didn't ask fo...
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"You know Jocelin, I've always hoped you and Regulus would get together." Her mother admitted over dinner. To this Jocelin refused to lift her eyes. She didn't want to have this conversation, especially not the night before she was due back to school.
"I've heard from Walburga that she's been pushing for Hettie Burke, or even Clare Rosier. You are friends with them correct?" Mira wanted to make sure that her daughter was friends with the right people, making the right moves at school. She would not make the same mistakes, not again. An anger and sadness Jocelin had never felt before wafted through her at the thought. She nodded, trying to will the conversation away. But it sat there in the middle of the table, mocking her.
"Jocelin I think it would do you well to wise up and start pursuing. That Nott boy has potential." Her father stated, not looking up from the paper that sat in front of him. The unspoken words sat at the tip of all their tongues.
"I'm only fifteen." She mumbled, pushing her food around her plate. Did they even want to hear about her plans for the following year? How she was prepping for her O.W.L.S? How she hoped to take multiple N.E.W.T level courses? No, she knew that answer already.
"Almost sixteen. I was with your father by then." Mira shot a look to her, and Jocelin's cheeks burned.
"It's not like either of you really had a choice." It was no secret that their marriage had been for an allegiance, a status, pure-blood arrangement. Jocelin was easily subjected to the same fate, in fact she knew it was probably preferred. She could feel her mother's eyes boring into her skull and she continued to push her carrots with her fork.
Because that's what mattered. Their bloodline, their legacy, their appearance. It wasn't that Jocelin didn't think those mattered, she did. But she also wanted to fall in love, to be with someone because they saw her for who she was, not solely for her name and blood.
But she needed to find who she was first.
"I don't think you need to worry too much Mira dear, Jocelin has proven herself to be useful. I think Walburga would approve enough." He stated presumptuously. It took everything for Jocelin to not just bolt from the table. Did they really have to discuss her love life as if it were a transaction in front of her like that? She knew she would make the right decisions in the end, the ones that aided her family and her future. But for now she just wanted to nurse her little crush and hope for the best.
