Stay With Me

33

Dead winced as Euronymous poured the alcohol over his bloodied arms, the guitarist clearly enjoying the punishment. Dead could hardly blame him. Euronymous wanted what was best for the band and Dead knew he hadn't been making that easier on him. He had been selfish, making everything about himself instead of the band. To think that he was the only one suffering was just ignorant. Dead knew Euronymous' pain, knew his plan to save the woman he loved.

Even Hellhammer was affected by it all. Melanie had been Vanessa's best friend and with her gone, Hellhammer had become her shoulder to cry on shortly after becoming her official boyfriend.

His eyes clamped shut, the burning in his arms intensifying. He could hear Euronymous scoff beside him. It didn't take much to tell that the older man had absolutely no sympathy for him.

"You did this to yourself" Euronymous scolded.

No shit.

Dead wanted to argue back, to fight the guitarist and somehow put the blame on him.

"I don't know why you have to act so stupid," he comtinued, his head snapping up to meet Dead's eyes. "Can you pull your head out of your ass long enough to get your shit together? The pity party is over. Either get it together so we can get where we need to be or I'll find another vocalist and send your ass back to Sweden."

Dead let out a heavy sigh. "Fine. I'll try harder."

"You either do it or go get that other band of yours back together."

"Alright. Just let me know what to do."

"I just fucking did. You really should be getting stitched up for these."

"No."

"I'm just saying They'll heal better if you do."

"Ask me if I give a rats ass."

"Are you just gonna torture yourself from now on? Granted that's really nothing new for you but..."

Dead cut him off, turning to face the guitarist. "The pain I'm in probably doesn't come close to what I made her feel. I deserve to feel like shit."

"Whatever, man. If that's what you wanna do then I'll finish wrapping you up so we can get back to work."

"When is our next show?"

Euronymous shrugged as he bandaged Dead's arm. "I don't know yet. I'm trying to figure out a tour or something. Hellhammer is supposed to be making some calls while I deal with you."

"Are we ready for a tour?"

"It's now or never. If we don't get to more places we aren't going to get very far. Norway only has so many people interested in what we do and it's too soon to try and make a name for ourselves in the States. We just need to keep doing small tours for now."

"Couldn't your parents help us get to the states?"

Euronymous couldn't help but laugh. "You now my parents hate what I do. They think Mayhem is my worst idea ever."

"That says a lot considering it's you," Dead smirked.

The two laughed, a rare moment for either of them lately. For a brief second things felt like they had before Vanessa, before discovering that in another life, they were both already dead. The thought often bothered Euronymous.

"It's pretty nuts," he started. "To think that if she hadn't come, neither of us would be alive. In her world we're already dead before we had a chance to really see what became of the band."

Dead shook his head, the happiness washing away as fast as it had come. "To you it's not something you wanna think about, but to me, I never saw my future any other way. I never expected to live in the future. I wasn't even surprised when she told me that I killed myself. But living in the future, in a whole different world, that's probably as scary to me as the thought of death is to you. It's funny how people can be in the same situation and see something scary about it no matter how you look at it. Funny how it's the positive things that scare me the most. I guess I'm really not normal."

Euronymous thought for a second, unsure of what to say. "I don't think any of us are normal, Pelle. I know for a fact though that without you, Mayhem probably isn't as good in the future. I'm excited to see what it'll be like with both of us there."

Dead stared in disbelief at the black haired man in front of him.

He...he's excited to see me in the future! He wants me to live?

Dead smiled softly, pulling the guitarist in for a short hug. "Thank you, Euronymous."

Euronymous scoffed, trying to hide his smile. "Yeah, whatever. Don't be getting soft on me."

"Well I don't think you'd want me getting hard on you either."

"Gross!"