Stucky Halloween: 2020

Pierre

"Oh, Barnes?" Steve acted clueless as he opened the door to find a special agent standing there, asking about none other than James Buchanan Barnes. "Him?"

He glanced over his shoulder at Bucky sitting on the couch, back perfectly straight -- a fake mustache over his upper lip.

Steve cleared his throat. "That's my husband Pierre."

"Pierre." The agent didn't sound impressed. Bucky gave a cheery nod and wave of his hand.

"Yeah, we met in Europe, what, six years ago?"

"Ehm -- roughly," Bucky said, panicking and adopting a Russian accent. Steve stood frozen smiling at the door, screaming internally.

Agent Dowers -- Steve glanced at the name as he brushed past him inside -- studied him closely. "That a Russian accent? Barnes is Romanian, you know."

"Grew up in Moscow, moved to Europe after the loss of my wife," he said calmly, staring back at Dowers.

"Oh, you were married?"

"No, she ran from the altar," Bucky mused and stared forward as if deep in thought.

"So how was she your wife?"

"Left after the vows," he lamented. Steve tried to stare daggers through his head. Bucky was having way too much fun with this.

"This is ridicu-- this is Barnes and I'm bringing him in."

"You're not going to check my license?"

Steve silently screamed at him to stop, they were going to get caught -- Bucky caught his eye. The glint of mischief was all too familiar.

Somehow, Bucky produced a license of him with somewhat shorter hair and a fake mustache; the name Pierre Gundburge was printed neatly along with his credentials, official enough that even Steve had to do a double-take.

Dowers looked understandably confused. "Mr Gundburge..?"

"Yes," Bucky said.

"Pierre Gundburge."

Bucky gestured to himself. "Is there something else I can help you with, agent Dowers?"

He looked uncertainly to Steve, as if he were being fooled too. Afraid he's still skeptical, Steve stepped forward.

"If there's nothing else, agent Dowers, I'm afraid it's our anniversary... "

"Apologies," Dower said slowly and blinked, suspicious. "I'll... let you enjoy your night. Captain Rogers." He nodded on the way out. "Pierre," he said, almost
mockingly.

The door closed gently and Steve stared at him incredulously.

"Technology is a fascinating thing, who knew if you messaged JARVIS he'd be able to come up with holographic credentials in the span of four seconds?"

"You -- "

"I will say, I'm surprised you said husband, didn't realise that was you proposing -- "

"Yes, well, one day I want to marry Bucky Barnes," Steve said as he joined him, his frantic heartbeat finally calming. "Shame Pierre Gundburge took his place."

"Cut Pierre some slack, his wife left him," he retorted.

"I can't believe your alter-ego is straight-- "

"Hey, Pierre is pansexual," he interrupted. "That's canon now. I've said it."

Steve nodded. "Okay," he said. Bucky nodded back, satisfied, and pried the fake mustache from his upper lip. "I much prefer Bucky Barnes anyway," Steve murmured with a grin as he moved in to kiss him.

////

Pierre Gundburge had several run-ins with agent Dowers. Eventually all of the Avengers were in on it.

Dowers grew to such popularity that he got personalized Christmas cards from the Avengers, all cheery and waving, and Pierre sat in the middle with a lovely ushanka sitting on his head.

Agent Dowers' general annoyance became a great running joke; another fond memory the couple shared was when agent Dowers once again swung by.

"Bucky Barnes?" Steve frowned, pretending to be deep in thought as he heard Bucky running around behind him. He closed the door a little more, so just his head is poking out. "Actually... "

Steve heard the crashing of their bedroom window. They were on the second floor.

He blinked.

"You just missed him."

Agent Dowers looked ready to rip his head off. Pierre jogged up the stairs, brushing glass off of himself and wiping his face.

"Agent Dowers, what a surprise! Come in for drink?" he said jovially, laying the Russian accent on for the fun of it. Dowers was red in the face.

"No. Thank you."

Pierre shrugged, brushing past him. "Shame, I bought such special vodka too. Perhaps later time!"

After he'd left once more they collapsed into bed and Bucky winced, pulling glass from his arms. Steve flinched as he watched, then gave him doctor's orders to take a shower.

"Hey, just so I can address this... " Bucky looked up, scrubbing shampoo into his hair. Steve eyed him. "The moment you bring that accent in to be cute I'm leaving."

"You do not like Russian accent?" Bucky put too much sauce on it to the point that Steve could barely hear the words. Steve tried not to grin as he helped him wash the shampoo free.

"That's it. Time to marry Tony."

"God, Tony's after me? That's depressing to follow up with," Bucky complained, dropping the accent. Steve grinned and wrapped his arms around him, pressing gentle kisses to his scarred shoulder and along his back.

"You'll be my most memorable ex."

"And the only one," Bucky pointed out, leaning back against him. Steve nodded against his neck and smiled gently.

"Glad I waited for the right partner," he murmured. Bucky turned to face him, to see the stupid love-struck smile on his cheeks. Bucky flushed red and kissed him, tilting his chin so he can reach. Steve pulled him close and was content.

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Inspired by many things I've seen fandom-wise over the years. Also Dowers was basically Powers from Gravity Falls 😅 I liked this one; lemme know what you thought, folks!