Perception

XCI

"Do you want me to go?"
Eli's voice was soft but clear. It was late, by now, and Sarah had left them alone a while ago. She had very clearly been tired from the long drive, and Anna figured also from worrying about her, so she had hugged her tight, and then she had watched from the bathroom window as Sarah had walked quickly down the street towards the ferry.
"God, no!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself. "Erm, that is... unless you want to, of course."
Eli was sitting next to her on the bed, his hand resting comfortably on her thigh.
"No, I very much don't want to. But I needed to check."
"Please. Stay. I couldn't bear to be alone... after all this."
He nodded wryly. "Yeah, you may not be the only one who feels that way. Anyway, I take it we're off to the hospital tomorrow?"
"I would love to see her, if they'll let me."
"Okay. We'll drive over there. Let's try and get some sleep, huh?"
Anna nodded. "Yeah. Let me just shower and brush my teeth."

She was suddenly feeling a little shy, even if that made no sense at all. After all they had been through together, what was there left to be shy about? But she knew why, because now more than ever before she was choosing to stay with him, when she so easily could have asked him to go home.
She simply wanted him here, in her studio, in her bed, and right now that meant the world to her.
He was there as she came out of the shower in an old t-shirt, waiting for her in the comfy chair, his arm on the armrest with his chin resting in his hand, clearly too polite to lie down in the bed on his own. Anna smiled at him and pulled that duck egg comforter back, slipping at long last into the spot she had contemplated so many times over the last days, putting her head on a real pillow once more. She'd never thought it would feel this way, though, as she patted the bed beside her, inviting him in.
He blinked once and got up.
"Hey."
She smiled, because she saw her own shyness reflected in his kind eyes.
"Hey."
He lay down and put his hand on her side almost hesitantly. She pulled the comforter over him too.
"This is a bit more comfortable than a Thermarest." he said quietly.
Anna nodded. His hand was warm on her side.
"Yeah, very definitely more comfortable than a Thermarest."
He eyed her seriously. "Anna, would you... would you mind very much if I kissed you right now?"
She shook her head even as she leaned over to him.
"No, I wouldn't mind at all."

His lips were soft and warm on hers and somehow they wiped away the tears that were still right underneath the surface. And she knew, somewhere, that she had still a lot to think about and sort through, and so did he, but none of that mattered now as she kissed him softly, allowing him in, her hands grasping at his back, pulling him closer, surrendering.
"Fuck, Anna....." he whispered, his voice almost pained, and he rested his forehead against hers for a moment. But she kissed him again, more urgently now, and all she felt was him, holding her, his feelings for her clear against her thigh, and there was space, where fear used to be. Light, where darkness used to be.
"Eli." she whispered. "You know that thing we did in the tent in France?"
He groaned softly.
Anna smiled coyly. "I would like to do that again now, please."