Ruined

Prologue

What do people do when they feel threatened?

Find someplace that felt safe.

What if they did not have a place that felt safe or the place that supposedly should be safe is not?

They find someone who they can talk to and confide in.

Then if they don't have that someone or they have been threatened and told to shut up, what do they do?

Stay put and know that all of it would end someday.

That, that was what I could not do.

I am Maeve Aluna Brune. The first child of my mother's four children. Currently I am on a train moving to an entirely new city with nothing but my backpack and a medium sized suitcase.

Why, I'll tell you.

My mother, Sonia Brune was supposed to be the last of my grandmother's children. My grandmother being a pretty thing in her time, got married at a relatively young age so that when my mom was already twenty a boy was born. Duke Gromit was his name, was few years older than me and he was my devil.

There is this very thing that every human on this planet earth has that bothers him or her no matter how small. Duke was that. He was my Lucifer in the flesh. Anytime I see him I remember every down right evil thing that ever existed. I hated him so bad that my bones felt it. He ruined me.

It all started when I was ten, seven years ago. It was my birthday and I was excited. Dad had bought a big cake and mom invited all my friends. The party was big and I loved every minute. Presents were strewn on the floor of the dining room area. Music was playing and I was dancing and shaking my head of. My friends commended my outfit. A pink coloured sequence jacket on my bright green polo. My pants was sequence too but royal blue. The jacket had a big bright star in the back. My hair was pulled into two ponytails and mom put makeup on my face, little that is. I felt wonderful.

Night fell and the party was over. Every body went home but Duke stayed because my mom asked for his help. I went up to him as he did the dishes

"Duke, did you bring a present for me" I asked

He smiled "Yup" then he leaned towards me to whisper " I'll bring it up to your room, go there and wait for me"

I was happy and went upstairs to my room and waited. I never knew that the present wasn't a present at all but pain. Unbearable and that I would never forget.

He came to my room locked the door and pinned me on my bed. My little hand were no match for him as he was choking me. I tried to scratch but received a slap. They kept coming. Slaps upon slaps. I was sure I would black out. When he was satisfied he stopped. He pulled back, stared at my bruised face grinning like the demon he was. I was crying, he told to me to shush. I did as I was told. He pushed me to the floor and pulled me to my feet.

He told me to strip. Ten year old me did not know what that meant. He laughed and laughed like I was the most hilarious thing. He laughed at my innocence.

"To strip means that you should remove your clothes"

My eyes widened as I shook my head vigorously. He stopped laughing and turned serious again. He pulled me closer by my ear, twisting it in the process.

"When I tell you to do something you do it. Am I clear. Now. Strip"

I nodded my head and he released me. My hand reach immediately for my throbbing ear. With sweaty palms while quietly sobbing I removed my clothes, stood in my underwear feeling vulnerable and extremely tired. Not wanting to wait anymore he took of my underwear sat me on the bed, took of his own clothes and stuffed his shirt in my mouth.

That night I was abused. That night I did things I did not want to do. That night I was ruined. He made me touch him in ways I should not touch him and he touched me in ways he should not touch me. It was disgusting and he enjoyed every moment. I believed that he liked the expressions on my face of horror, fear, torture and a jumble of other feelings I could not decipher.

When he was done he bathed me, put me in my pajamas, gave me my actual birthday present from him and tucked me in.

Before he left he said "Do not let anyone know this. If you say anything about it, they'll say you're crazy and throw you to some psychiatric ward and leave you there. But if you don't two of would love each other just like we did know and no one will disturb us".

Then he smiled "Get your mummy's makeup, cover up your bruises" leaned over and kissed the top of my head, I winced "don't cry again and go to sleep" and stood to leave. Before closing the door he said "Till next time my love. I love you"

He closed the door

Well another emotion I could decipher actually was confusion. I had so many questions.

Was this love? Did lovers hurt themselves? Was I supposed to love my uncle? He said till next time
Was there a next time? When was it?

But deep down I knew all the answers and that my uncle was sick. I also knew that there was no way out for me cause I would not tell my mom. She had lost my trust but that is a story for another day. I also did not want to anger Duke. No I definitely did not want that.

The next morning I woke up early to get ready and cover my bruised face before my mom saw it. I did not want to start lying, not that I was good at it anyway.

When I was done covering everything with the cream I saw mom using on me the day before I smiled despite my self and discovered a new friend, makeup. I loved it caused it helped me escaping from everything. From Duke, from my mom, from my house, from my self.

I learned everything I could and would keep the little change from the pocket money my parents rarely gave me. It was my safe heaven but it wasn't enough.

And so my answer to the first question is run. And that's what I did, I ran.

Cowardly right? But I don't care.