Ruined

**6***

When walking on the street and you're passing by shops and stores holding wares that at one point or the other you're sure you've asked for. You then a very heart wrenching response or no response at all which is just as annoying.

You walk asking why you don't have some steady cash source to tap from and at the same time promising yourself that you must be rich.

Back home my route to my house passes by a strategic business point in the city resulting in the sight of beautiful things and gawking teenagers.

Some days when I felt bubbly I would point at the evening gowns that I would love for prom, shoes I thought where totally gorgeous and phone cases that was picture perfect for the word cute.

The days when my brain manufactured stupid grey clouds and my vocal instruments did not feel the need to vibrate anything higher than a 'Yeah' or 'Mhmm'. I would only tell my friends.

"In this life, I must be rich. I'm talking billionaire rich. Its a must. No other option"

That was pretty much me now, walking to work from school. Yesterday I got tutored and then went home and did literally nothing. Just sitting and staring at the ceiling. That lasted for only twenty minutes and I slept off on my bed. Slept till around six in the evening.

With still nothing to do I went to my makeshift dresser and looked through my makeup supplies. I needed to replace some of the concealers, some of contour sticks. Some of the shades needed where gone and they were crucial.

Boring, boring, boring. The house was boring enough to let me know that it could lead me to the point of death and still not let me die.

I slept again and the phone shop I just passed by now reminded me of the dream I had.

In this dream I was with a phone talking to someone. It was my phone but I did not have a phone. Too much expenses. Evan was the one I was speaking to, which by the way officially made him the boy of my dreams.

My mom then comes into the room shouting some words. In response I quickly shoved the phone under something. She said that she hated the way I was behaving and she started comparing me to someone. I can't remember who but there are many people she compares me too. So many people. And the irony is that some of them are nothing like me.

In the dream I talked back to her which was very funny. I didn't have the guts to do that in a life that is not a dream.

This kind of dreams or nightmares had been plaguing my night time lately. There was nothing I could do about it. The best I could do was plaster a blank expression on my face and try not to look sad. Then wait for anything to change my emotions, hopefully good.

Grrrring...

My classes for the first half of the day was over so I left the class to go get Martina. As usual she was trying to get the teacher to explain a particular concept. She also took the next week's class schedule for that subject. I bet she had done that for the other subjects.

I was wearing a plain grey hoodie and dark blue tight jeans with my most faithful black flats. My outfit was no different from my other outfits. Plain with a triple 'n'. I hated it and wished for something better but what can I do. Nothing.

"Lemme guess, you've gotten your assignments for next week, right."

"Yup, and for all our subjects too"

"Can you let me see it"

"No, Mauve. The teacher gave it only to me and told me not to give no one."

Martina was dressed just like I was but with a skirt and a colourful Polo shirt. When we got to my locker Moira was already there.

"Hey, Meghan the Stallion how are you doing" I greeted with a smirk on my face.