Hear Me Out

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It was a gloomy afternoon. The beautiful flowers and plants from her mom's garden were dancing along the windy air at the back of their house. Letting her wavy hair sway freely, she wears her favorite white loose plain t-shirt and black shorts while sitting on the bench just beside her mom's blooming garden.

Yep, she's at her parents' house because it's Sunday.

Yejin is currently left alone in their house as her mom, dad and brother went to the grocery store to buy food for their family dinner later.

Looking up to the gloomy skies, she folds her knees and lifts her index finger trying to draw letters behind the clouds.

She starts with... "B"
Next was... "A"
Then... "B"
Lastly was... "E"

She pouted her lips and bowed down her head. You can laugh at her as she might look like a high school teenage girl writing her crush's name above the sky, but she doesn't care.

'I'm really mad at you, Bin... But I really miss you that it hurts my heart so much.' She let out heavy sighs after stating those words while her eyes were stuck to the planted pink roses in front of her. This flower reminded her of Bin. These are the roses he always sent to her during their courtship days. She sighed again.

For the past few days, Yejin spent sleepless nights as she struggled thinking on how to prepare herself when she sees Bin tomorrow. Can she compose herself enough inside the conference room breathing the same air with him? Can she present her monthly report while Bin is looking at her? What if Bin approaches her? How will she react?

These are the things she keeps on worrying about after she was informed by her Managing Director that their monthly presentation report will be held in Sacheon branch.

There were days when she wants to shout inside her office or anywhere in Gimhae city to release how mad she is when she suddenly thinks of Bin's disappearance and marriage. But most of the time, she cries out of stress and out of longing for him.

She sometimes scans back Bin's sweet text messages on her phone. Replaying the songs he sang through their long calls— yes, unbeknownst to Bin, she recorded them all.

Sometimes after work, she walks blankly without knowing where her feet are going that mostly she got bumped to random people in the streets. Every fucking single day, she still hopes that is just a nightmare. She wanted to wake up and go back to her happy days with him. She misses his hundreds of I Love Yous, his presence, his kisses, his hugs, his addicting smell— that she didn't even wash the bedsheets they used when they made love the whole day and night at her flat. It's hard. It's really hard for her.

She knows it's wrong for her to feel this way as he is already committed to another woman. Even though they haven't had a chance to talk yet in person, but at least she deserves to be honest with her emotions even just to herself. If she keeps it and won't acknowledge it, she will surely lose her sanity. She'll be gone crazy.

When she's at work, you may see her lips and eyes smiling, but she's literally fooling everyone. She's breaking inside. She tried to keep herself busy for those days that Bin wasn't around. Drinking bottles of sojus almost every night thinking that the alcohol might help her to forget him... But the harder she tries, the more she misses him.

During their dinner, her mom asked her when she will bring Bin to their house so they can finally meet him, but she only answers her that Bin got busy with his work and trying to find time to have a visit. Yes, she lied to her mom, she felt sorry for doing this to her, but thinking that's the better way to do for now.

—————

Tomorrow morning

Before entering the entrance door, Yejin stood up in front of the Sacheon branch's building wearing the most fitted and beautiful red long sleeve dress from her wardrobe along with her elegant black peep toe sandals. Uneasy as she is, she tried calming her beating fast heart before taking steps towards the door.

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