"You have mail, daniel."
The letter flew in my room and landed sofly on the hard cement. I got up from my bed and picked up the letter. Just exactly who I wanted it from. My love.
Daniel..I appreciate you. I really do. I'm thinking of going to see you, maybe tomorrow evening. We need to talk before it's too late. How are you? After 2 years, you're still telling me that you love me. You want us together. Do you ever think I'm a bitch, daniel? I'm a bitch. I snuck behind your back without you knowing. Doesn't that hurt you? Why do you still love me? You shouldn't love me. You don't need to love me. All I ever did was hurt you and you know it, so just admit it. It's okay because I will understand. I won't write much because I know I'll come see you tomorrow. How about 1 in the evening tomorrow? Okay.
from jasmine.
No way in the hell I'll ever think she's a bitch. We been through a lot, but she's no dog. She's my girl and I can't wait to see her. I wish I knew what time it was.
For hours, I stayed re-capping all memories of my love. Me kissing her forehead, telling her everything was going to be alright with me by her side. Telling her she made my world brighten every time she was near my presence.
My patrol officer sighed loudly.
I looked at him and groaned under my breath.
"Why the hell are you standing in front of my cell? Sighing and shit when I'm clearly thinking!?"
"Someone is here to see you, daniel."
My eyes widened. "Really? Is it her?"
I stood back on my feet and headed out the cell. I followed behind him. I knew it had to be her. No one else comes and sees me and she told me she would come. I hope she meant it. I would be upset if she never showed up. I walked pass a long row of empty seats. No one was meeting anyone? That's odd. More privacy for me and my love. I sat down and waited to see her through the clear plastic glass.
Then there, she came.
The love of my life.
I couldn't believe how more beautiful she has become in the last years. I picked up the phone that was on the wall right beside me.
"Baby girl?"
I was in so much shock.
"Baby girl, pick up the phone." I say, tapping the glass towards the phone on her side. I watched as she held her eyes closed for a moment before slowly reaching for it. What was wrong with her? Was she not happy to see me? I thought that she would be. It doesn't matter, I'm happy to see her.
"Hello, daniel."
I haven't heard from her in so long. Even her voice was beautiful.
"Baby girl, how are you?" I say, looking dead in her eyes. "I've really missed you. I want to touch you, jasmine. I fucked up and I'm sorry."
"Please, don't you be sorry." She sniffs and wipes her eyes. "You have no reason at all to be sorry. It was my fault. I don't care what you say."
"...Okay." I nodded, still taking in her beauty. "Do you miss me?"
She didn't say a word. So I asked again.
"Baby girl, do miss me? Please answer me. I don't want to get angry."
"Yes, daniel." She looked down. "I really miss you... and I have something to tell you."
She looked back up at me.
"I know that you've send me letters day by day and you would always tell me you love me, think about me, but...." She stopped and begin to cry, looking away.
"Baby girl, stop crying and tell me what's wrong? Is someone hurting you?"
"No.., but I've been hurting someone. A very special someone. No matter how many times I apologize, it won't change the fact that I really hurt him."
"Who?" I asked. God, I wish I could wipe her tears and just hold her.
"You." She finally looked up at me. "Daniel, I'm married now and I have a child. His name is noah. I named him that because I knew that's what you wanted to name our future baby boy."
I didn't want to hear anymore of that bullshit. I threw the phone so hard at the window in front of me that it made it crack. I saw her jump out of her seat and look at me with saddened eyes. My hands were cuffed behind my back and I was forced to leave the room, back in my cell.
What she said
was trapped in my mind.
I couldn't get it out.
I punched the brick wall every time the sentence would repeat in my head. Blood ran down my knuckles, but that didn't stop me. I stared angerily at the wall and continued punching.
"Daniel, do you need to be hand cuffed again? Please stop it, son."
I stopped and got on my knees, pulling out all of jasmine's letters. I ripped every letter I found of hers into tiny pieces untill I couldn't rip no more. I crawled myself in bed and cried my life away. Everything was just fine and in a matter of seconds, my life tears apart.
"I still love you, jasmine. You're mine and I won't stop fighting.."
I wiped my eyes and grabbed a piece of paper and my pencil.
Jasmine, I still care for you with a devotion bordering on obsession. I'm sorry you had to find out this way..
when I say you're mine, I fucking mean it. Understand? Don't leave away too far as you begin to get afraid. You don't need to be afraid, baby.
love, Daniel.
