I was driving back to my cousin's crib, Straight-up. Of course his name wasn't actually Straight-up, that was just his nickname. His real name was Coriyon. That's my long time, no see cousin so I'ma call him by his government name. As I was walking to the side door of his crib, I sighed before pulling out the house key and going inside. I appreciate my cousin for allowing me to stay here while I was out. My mother—she was ecstatic whenever she found out I was bailed out. I know she's been trying to get me out, but it is what it is now. Fixing me a cold glass of red kool-aid, I sat down at the kitchen table and sipped it like it was liquor, which I preferred having right now. Coriyon hides his drinks and I wasn't going to question him about it. I wasn't much of a drinker anyway. I sat the glass down, looking around the dimmed room as the sun was shining through the blinds. As of right now I have no phone until the bill gets paid. Until then, I went to the photos in my phone and scrolled until I seen a picture of Jasmine and I. Shit just about made me tear up when I seen her smiling as she had her head laid against my chest. I truly loved this girl. I don't understand why she doesn't see that. Girl had me in the cell carving tally marks on the walls to the days I'll see her again. I've never pictured myself doing no crazy shit like that before. Sad part is, I admit to acting crazy. I didn't try to kill Trevor. Nah, I did. He was one dude I called my bro. Probably was dumb for killing him over a female who didn't even love me—yeah, I'll admit.
I'm starting to think he was the wrong person I killed.
Gulping down the rest of my drink, I washed out the glass before leaving out the house again. This time, leaving the car. I just needed time to myself. Everything seemed a little different to me. Kind of dryer before I was arrested. It's been a good minute, and I'm sure I looked different with this hair grown on my face. Something told me to walk back to Jasmine's house. I wanted to apologize to her for my sick ass actions, even though she was the cause of it. I just needed to talk to her, but she wanted to tend to her family more than she wanted to talk to me. I understand that, but she was mine first. I still want to make her mine. Why even bother? She's already proven that she didn't want me anymore. I don't give a fuck, though. I'm smarter than what I may seem. For me to have her again, I can't get into any trouble. Something's gotta go down, though, best believe.
I patted my back pocket for the roll of cash Coriyon lend me just to make sure it was still in there. I needed a cut, some extra clothes and some more shoes. I had to fit in some way. My eyes brighten as I came upon a stop sign. It was my birthday. Too busy having Jasmine on my mind, I done forgot. Bet she forgot all about it, but I'll never forget hers. I continued to walk and found a barbershop not too far away. There wasn't a lot of people so I was able to be looked at as soon as I walked in. The barber shaved the hair from my face, leaving me a patch of it on my chin. I didn't like it at first, but I was a grown man and it was time I started acting like one. Fuck Jasmine. Fuck her family. I'll be good by myself with whoever the lord bless me with in the future. I paid the barber after looking in the mirror. "Appreciate it. I gotta stop by again," I compliment the barber before leaving. I checked my phone for the time, and I had about three hours before I had to be back at Coriyon's house. I walked to a nearby Walmart. I didn't drive, so Walmart was the quickest place I could go for clothes. It was like nobody ever seen a black male walk into Walmart before. Every female—I mean every female—was looking at me. I didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing, but I kind of didn't like the attention.
"Hey, excuse me," I heard a girl's voice from behind me and turned around. Girl was short as a midget trying to talk to me from the floor. "What's up?" I asked her, giving her a look of confusion.
"What's your name? I've never seen you here before."
"Why? How old are you? Like twelve?" I asked and shook my head. "Why you wanna know my name?"
