If this is Life, then what's Hell?

When Deviency Grows, Loyalty Falters

For some reason, the note, like the dream, made me feel vulnerable. And then a realization hit me. How did the note from the nightmare come to reality with me? Was it just a nightmare? Or was it more? Did my dad really die? And was it a real visit? Did a dead person visit me?

I kept thinking about this until I felt a nudge on my shoulder.

"Gracie."

"What?"

I do beleive in that."

"In..." I waited for him to finish the sentence.

"Dreams or nightmares trying to send you a message."

"Really?"

"Yeah"

"Oh" was my smart responce. Nick sheepishly smiled at me, and I half-heartedly smiled back. It's not Nick. I know it's not him. Is it? I trust him with all my heart, and the note said that some one I trust is against me. But I've known him since we were kids, and we've been dating for about 2 years now. No, Nick is my boyfriend. I tried to keep a straigh face as I pondered and puzzled over this. The bestest enemies are those who are closest to you. And Nick is pretty close. But no... would he? Ugh, I'm confusing myself. Again. 

Since the ride seeemed to stretch on, so I decided to atleast try to sleep. I nestled my head against Nick;s shoulder and closed my eyes. I started having memories about my parents, so I decided to hum my favorite lulluby. My mom had taught me it when I was 6, you know, before alchol took over her life.The lulluby was soothing, and it took away most bad thoughts.

Before I was totally under, I felt a hand wrap around my hip, and some one whisper into my ear, "Gracie, I know you know this, but I still want to say it. You... it's your...," he sighed. "Damn, how much harder can this get?

"Well, for one, she could be awake." Alex shrugged.

"Yeah. Hey man, thanks for helping Gracie and Me-"

"Listen, I'm not helping you helping you . I'm only doing this fo Gracie."

"Why?"

"Because, one, she's not safe. two, she's being misjudged, and three, she needs some one to protect her."

"I'm here to protect her."

"I bet that that's the only reason your doing this?"

"Not reall-"

"Oh, is the other part for the publicity?"

"What the fuck? Dude, she's my girlfriend."

"Not, for long."

 Nick's grip tightened around my waist, and I tried to wiggle out. "Mmmm" I mumbled, and his grip loosened.

"Dude, I'm kidding. God, I thought you had a sence of humor."

"Oh, right. kidding. Haha."

"Wait - you actually thought that I was going to take Gracie from you?"

"Uh-"

"Dude, your so gullible." Alex cracked up again.

"Guys! Shut up! I'm trying to sleep!" They finally shut up. "Thank you."

                                                                              *****

 Before I completely down and under, I got an other flashback. This one not so fuzzy. More dream-like. I was 9 here. The time I started to swear. The time I started cutting my wrists.

                                                                     **Start of Flashback**

Gosh, it's so cold out today. Atleast I can fake homework to stay in my room more. Wow, is it always this this cold out?

"Gracie?"

"Yeah, daddy?" Atleast daddy isn't high all the time.

"Go do your homework, and stay in there until I tell you to come out.."

"Never come out!" Did mami (mommy) just tell me to stil in my room until I die? For ever? I can't take this anymore!

"Gosh! I you hate me so much, why did you keep me? Why am I alive? Why don't I just kill myself? That'll keep you happy!" I'm just going to kill myself, see if they give a fuck later on. Did I just swear? What-ever. "I really hope this works."

"Gracie! Open this door... please?!" Who's that? He doesn't sound like he's old.

"No! No one cares about me! I'm going to do this!" Wait-did I lock the door? Ugh, this door doesn't have locks!.... The blade is really cold. Gracie, stop shaking if your going to do this! I'll just close my eyes...

"No! Please, stop.

"Nick! What are you doing here?"

"Saving you from a mistake you'll regret.

"No, I won't. Please, let me do this."

"No. If I do, then you would be dea-dea-dead, and, and, and, and I just don't want that. I want you to live." One person that cares... should I kill myself? Or no?

"Fine." Why's he staring at me like that? It's scary... but I think I like it.

                                                            **End of Flashback**

Hey guys. srry if this was boring. i just wanted to introduce the dream and the note, which will become very important to the story. oh, and srry if i got off track in the last few chapters. i promise more action in chapter 8!