Cigarettes and Hickies [n.h]

vingt-six

"I always did what others forbade me, and so I agreed. The notion of doing what you're not supposed to, brought this adrenaline to my body that made me want to seek it whenever I could. We walked around town that day together, and I wasn't at all scared of him or of the thing that would bring my smile back. Eventually he took out a small bag with pills and handed me one and told me that it would make my life easier to bear. I certainly didn't question it; I took the pill and smiled at him. And boy was he right.

"The pills worked wonders and with time, I felt myself becoming more dependant on them; so obviously the teachers began to notice a change in me when I wasn't on the drugs. I started getting into more fights, and into more detentions. I lost weight and failed nearly everything! But somehow, whenever I had those chemicals in my bloodstream, nothing of that mattered. I became careless and dreamt of nothing more than to hang out with Zach all the time."

"Zach?" It was so much to take in, but Niall kept to his word that no matter what her past was, he wouldn't care about it. It was the person she was in that moment in time that intrigued him. Even though, he had an idea of who Zach might be, he still wanted to hear it from Ocean's lips. 

"He's the guy that brought the smile back to my beautiful face." She smiled but the smile was distant as the girl continued her story. "Anyway, due to my lack of effort in school and of all the trouble I was causing the teachers, I got excluded for a month and my parents came to pick me up. I was literally banned to see any of Zach and his friends during that time, and I got a psychiatrist. But that didn't stop me; I had my ways and managed to get Zach to come over to my house." She let out a short laugh as a memory flashed through her mind, but decided to keep it hidden. "But because I was hanging out with him, there began to be words about me on the street. I was quite the scandal!" She said with sarcasm as she rolled her eyes again. However, before Niall could say anyhting she continued her speech quick enough, "This one time, Zach asked me if I wanted to make some money on the side and I obviously said yes straight away. So that same day we drove to this really weird place, it was like a house out of a horror movie I'm telling you, but anyway; we got inside and met up with this gang. That's when I first met Jasper; he was the gang leader and they all called him the Don. 

"But at first he didn't even notice me and neither did I. I was too caught up with the swing of things that I didn't really get my head around what we were doing. Eventually Zach gave him a bag, and we were soon leaving that place and driving back home. But as we were on the motorway back, we heard the sound of a siren behind us, and saw a police car following our track. It was some scary shit man; I was telling Zach to stop but he kept driving, trying to lose them. He obviously failed and got us arrested. 

"I got bailed out, but Zach stayed in there. My parents got me into rehab and on medication, and I honestly soon began get my shit together. It worked for a time; I got my head in the game and applied to uni and began to get passionate about things. As part of an activity during rehab, I used to get sent outside to just clear my head while looking at the stars; my mentor really helped me meditate through that and that's why I decided to study all things space because it kinda changed my life. Everything was good, until Zach finally got let out and started looking for me again. I remembered all the good times I had spent with him, that I soon invited him over like the old days. When my parents began to notice that I was falling back again, I left the house and went over to Zach's. People would look at me and whisper things about me, because of the people I was hanging out with and because of my parents. But, I didn't give two flying fucks, I was enjoying myself.

"Anyway, one evening Zach and his mates hosted this party at their flat and I got to see Jasper again. But it wasn't until Zach told him to cheer me up, because I was in such a bad mood due to West Ham losing their match, that I began to really look at Jasper differently. I remember being there, with my oversized West Ham shirt on and these really tacky knee socks, but Jasper somehow found it all cute. He was the only one that supported the same team, and the only one to cheer me up obviously as I brougth everyone's mood down apparently, according to Zach. After that, Jas and I started hanging out more and yeah. That's it. That's the story of Balamory."

The girl obviously didn't want to talk about what happened after as it lead to the heartbreak she had experienced, but when she turned to look at Niall, the popstar caught the flame of her despair in her eyes and wanted nothing more but to comfort her. He knew she had gone through a lot, and to try and relive any of it more than what has already been relived, would be too much for the girl to take. Niall could understand where her soured behaviour was coming from now, and he could guess that from the time she was in rehab and had her priorites sorted out that it played a major part in her being at uni now, otherwise he couldn't imagine where she would have ended up. However, he wondered what became of Zach and if she still kept in touch with him; but from the fact that she was at uni and was living on her own, told him that Zach was most likely out of the picture since it was he who had lead her down the wrong path. 

"Wha' about your parents?" He asked though, wondering what had happened to their part in the story. 

"That's enough for one night, Niall." She turned her back on him and stared at the moon picture on her wall. She was lost in the nostalgia of her past. 

In that moment, Niall hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her against him, while the other was gently stroking her blue hair. "Look, every mornin' we wake up with the chance of makin' a difference in our lives. Ya had your past, so stop dwellin' on it. Leave it there. Focus on the future, babe." 

Ocean rested her warm hand over Niall's arm around her waist and said softly. "I'm not going to go back to him, Niall. I promise this time; but, he's all I know."

"Shh, don't say that. Ya know me, and I'm gonna show ya the world. There's so much beau'y in this world that ya're missin' out on that  ya need to see. You need to live; 'cause life is beau'iful Ocean, and ya're beau'iful, and it would be a sin if ya weren't out there amongst all that beau'y. And I'm gonna be that person to show ya everythin'." 

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A/N: I think I have a tear in my eye after writing that, haha. I hope you guys liked it! Now you got to see more into Ocean's past and why she is the way she is. 

It would be cool to see what you think! Drop me a comment and don't forget to vote. 

Also sorry for the delay in the upload. Hope this is worth the wait!

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