Secrets (wolfstar)

Part Thirteen

"Well a part of me always knew I guess, so all my life" Remus said busying himself over the potion though he wasn't really paying attention to it anymore "it was just everyone I knew only liked people of the opposite gender so I assumed that's how I was suppose to be."

"Do you feel differently about guys and girls?" Sirius asked looking at Remus for the first time.

"I just don't see that as the thing I'm attracted to I guess, gender just doesn't matter to me" Remus said thoughtfully. "Like if someone wasn't either or someone was both that would be great too"

"What is it you are attracted to then?" Sirius asked playing with the ends of Remus sweater.

"People I guess, like when someone is smart, and funny, I like when people make me feel comfortable" Remus stopped himself before he said something stupid like they pull great pranks, have beautiful black hair and sliver eyes, and are sitting right in front of me. "Why are you asking me all this? Not that I mind"

Sirius just shrugged at this and returned to his line of questioning.

"Did you know before you kissed a guy?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, but it helped to know for sure I guess." Remus said remembering his first fleeting kiss with a muggle boy on Christmas holidays.

"I've never kissed a guy" Sirius muttered.

Remus looked over at him surprised at this, not the fact Sirius hadn't kissed a guy, but the fact he brought this up at all, and Remus couldn't stop himself from saying.

"Do you want to?" Remus felt his cheeks pinken, but when he looked over at Sirius his face was even brighter, and Remus could have passed out when he saw Sirius nod gently.

"Oh okay. Well umm I'm sure that maybe that seventh year bloke in Hufflepuff would Ben, I think his name is. I'm sure he fancies you. Or Andrew in Fourth Year." Remus starting trying to think about who he could get to kiss Sirius without volunteering too quickly but before he could Sirius cut in.

"No" he said surprisingly loudly, then he blushed and looked down. "I mean I don't wanna kiss those guys. I don't even know them. I want it to be someone I know I guess"

The awkwardness in the room painful. Both boys where avoiding eye contact. Remus continued to add stuff to the potion though now it was just whatever was near him as he was far to distracted to care anymore. Out of the corner of his eye Remus saw Sirius still sitting on the edge of the table swinging his legs back and forth. Finally they both glance at each other and Sirius whispered.

"You don't have to obviously is you don't want to."

"No" Remus said "I just wasn't sure you meant"

Remus just stopped himself talking, took a deep breath, and looked up at Sirius.

"You sure?" He asked

Sirius nodded.

Remus was shaking a little, but as he walked towards Sirius he realized it was nothing compared to him. Sirius was blushing so much it looked painful, his hands where trembling, and his breath was rapid. Remus stepped in the space between Sirius' legs which had finally stopped swinging.

"It's okay Sirius. It's just a kiss" Remus said masking the nerves in his voice pretty well. Sirius looked up at Remus and smiled a little.

"You never call me Sirius" he replied.

"This seemed like a special occasion"

And with that Remus closed the small space between their faces. Remus had every intention of giving Sirius a quick peck, and then backing away so Sirius could finally kiss a guy and move on. But the second Sirius lips where on his, Remus felt arms wrap around his neck pulling Remus closer. He took an awkward step closer to Sirius placing his hands on Sirius' back.

At first it was awkward. Remus was still taller than Sirius even though he sat on the high table, and this presented an weird angle. Their noses clashed, and teeth bumped at Sirius. But finally Remus used his hand to tip Sirius' head back, and a gentle rhythm was found. Sirius seemed to totally relax against Remus, but still holding Remus close, as if he wanted him their. This worked for Remus who always liked control and continued to deepen the kiss.

Remus broke away from the kiss which caused Sirius to tighten his arm around the taller boy trying to pull him back. But Remus had no intention of going anywhere as he ducked down and planted a kiss on Sirius neck. Almost instantaneously Sirius whole body went slack im Remus arms. One of Sirius hands went up into Remus hair, while the other clutched at his shirt.

Remus was sure at this point he was dreaming. It just couldn't be real. Sirius had wanted to kiss him. And all signs seemed to point to him enjoying it. His whole world was limited to this cold dark dungeon, and he couldn't be happier with that. As Remus moved his lips gently down Sirius' neck he felt fingers tighten in his hair, when suddenly a strangled noise came out of Sirius mouth. Remus stopped his lips still planted on Sirius' neck.

"Oh my god Moony I'm so sor-" Sirius started but before he could Remus moved back so he was kissing Sirius again. This time it was with an intense passion. He pulled Sirius towards him and Sirius wrapped his legs around him. Remus had no idea how long this was gonna on. It both felt like time was moving fast and slow. He would have happily stayed like that for the rest of the day but when a large bang scared them both. Remus shielded Sirius with his large arms, though he wasn't sure what he was shielding him from. He felt some sort of derby hit his back, and a warm liquid splatter all around them.

Remus pulled away slightly and looked at Sirius who had a layer of light pink goo on his face, and instantly they both broke out in laughs.

"I think maybe I added some of the wrong stuff to the potion." Remus said looking back at the cauldron which had shattered rather specularly. Chunks of potion were scattered across the floor walls and ceiling.

"You think?"