Letters

Still October (just): The Foxtrot

He came back and slumped on the sofa, his head in his hand, the bottle in the other. He hadn't taken the lid off, he didn't really want to drink but he also wanted to forget.

'Severus has just told me. You should have said.' Draco sat beside him, making the sofa dip. He gently took the bottle from Harry's hand and placed it on the coffee table.

'It wasn't an easy thing to drop into a letter; oh, by the way, I hate Halloween because it was the day my parents were murdered... it's hard to follow that up.' Harry looked at Draco, his heart tearing in two. 'I'm sorry about tonight. I shouldn't have agreed to go and you made such an effort too.'

'I don't care about that, Harry. I care about you and being with you.'

'Thank you. I thought it would be okay, being there with you, but I guess not. I still find it hard to let go. I didn't even fucking know them... I can't even fucking remember them...'

'Maybe that's why it's so hard to let go. It's okay, Harry.'

Harry sighed in relief when Draco took hold of his hand, rubbing it softly and massaging the tension out of it.

'You're a bundle of knots,' Draco said softly. 'I think a hot shower is in order and then an early night. Come on.'

Draco pulled him up off the sofa and led him upstairs to his bedroom and the ensuite bathroom. He knocked the shower on and slowly undressed Harry, removing first his dress shirt and then unbuttoning Harry's tuxedo trousers. Harry let Draco take control.

'I might need help removing all this make up...' Draco's face was even paler than usual and he had dark circles around his eyes and grey lipstick. Harry was a bit captured by the eyeliner and as they stepped into the shower together, he Scourified the makeup away but left the eyeliner. He groaned, biting his lip, but didn't tell Draco why. He just let the man wash his hair for him and run his hands over his tired muscles as if massaging away his heartache.

'Make love to me tonight, Draco,' he said softly as they stepped out the shower. He felt like he needed to be looked after with careful ministrations and tender love.

Draco took his hand and lead him to the bed.

Later, as Harry lay dozing, he felt the bed shift as Draco moved to get up. 'I have to go ... I wish I could stay, but if I linger I'll fall asleep too,' he whispered, his slender fingers winding their way into Harry's messy hair and brushing it away from his eyes. Harry sleepily moved his arm around Draco's waist as if weakly trying to hold onto him, to prevent him from leaving.

'Sleep soundly, Harry, and I'll be back in the morning,' Draco said softly as he kissed Harry's forehead.

Harry's eyelids felt too heavy to stay open as Draco played with his hair.

'I love you, Harry,' he heard Draco whisper but he felt unable to respond as the bed shifted under him and his arm fell away from Draco's warmth. He felt Draco tuck the duvet around him. 'Sleep, my love...'

Harry didn't even hear him leave the room.

He woke just before midnight, startled from a deep sleep by a dream he couldn't remember beyond that it left him feeling disturbed and his heart racing wildly.

He stumbled through the darkness down to the kitchen to get a glass of water and as the tap was running, something of his dream broke.

'Severus,' he called. 'Severus!'

'For goodness sake, put some clothes on, Harry.'

Harry ignored the request. 'Do you think it's possible to cleanse curses with water?'