Newt x Reader || A13

26 | always

I'm holding up. Just barely, but I am, and only because he is the sole foundation on which I lean. I could say the same for the other Gladers as well- he is the glue that holds us together, the silent promise that no matter what, we'll always have each other.

The words have probably left his own lips a thousand times over, but has anyone ever asked him..

"Are you okay?" My whisper hangs in the air between us. I watch the silent battle that truth and restraint wage in his eyes, my own softly assuring him it's okay, it's okay to tell me.

After what seems like ages, he breaks my gaze and pulls his arm away from me. A furious blush spreads across my cheeks at his reaction, and I open my mouth to apologize, but he speaks first, his free hand finding his leg.

"Did I ever tell you how I got my limp?" He asks, not looking at me. He knows the answer. Has he told anyone?

"Self inflicted." He says, his voice shaking now. It takes every bit of me not to collapse into him, wrap my arms around him in the grass and whisper sweet nothings.

I am here. You have me. You will always have me.

But I must be strong for him. Instead, I sit up, staring down at him as he lies in the grass.

"Climbed those walls," he gestures out towards the maze, "high up as I could go, then jumped right off."

His words are daggers in my ears, each one agonizingly carving its way into my head.

He draws in a shaky breath before continuing.

"Never felt any bleedin' pain worse than that there," he shakes his head, visibly shivering at the memory, "never tried it again, but I think 'bout it all the bleedin' time." The last words falter on his lips as he dares to speak them. He looks up at the stars, craning his neck in the grass and refusing to meet my eyes.

I wrap my hand around his wrist and pull, forcing him to sit up next to me.

"None of them know," He says quietly, glancing at the sleeping homestead. "Only reason I haven't tried again is cause of them." At this, he sighs deeply, face pale in the moonlight.

I move closer in the grass, reaching up to touch his face lightly. He leans into my hand, his cheek pressing against my palm. When I find it to be moist with salty tears, it takes everything in me not to shed any of my own.

My heart breaks for the boy before me. The boy unraveling at the seams. The boy that no one has fully understood.

"Because they need you." I say, cradling his face in my hands and forcing him to look at me. I draw in a breath, hoping with all of me that he hears the binding truth in my next words. My voice cracks. "I need you."

I feel his breath fanning across my face and his tremble beneath my hands. I see painstakingly immeasurable sadness in his eyes. As I hear him speak, a piece falls into place: a foundation for something new, something wonderful.

"You have me." He whispers. I cradle his face in my hands, desperate to hold on to this fleeting moment,  this perfect image bound to shatter.

"All of me. Every bit."

The dam breaks, and his words are the cause. Tears run freely down my cheeks, and he shifts, leaning into me and reaching to wipe them away.

"Always." I stare at his lips as they frame the word. A single word, a binding promise.

When I meet his eyes once again, he leans down and brings his lips to mine with a startling ferocity.

The fluttering in my stomach refuses yet to cede; every bit of me is alight, aware of him: his heart beating rapidly against my own as I press myself to him, his sandy hair beneath my fingers as I pull him closer- never close enough, and his lips molding to my own, memorizing every inch.

In this moment, I want nothing more.

Tasting the salt of tears on his mouth, I kiss him harder. If I could eternally take his pain away, make him forget, make him see that he is not alone and never will be, I would, but for now, this moment- this night- is all I have to heal him.

We fall back into the field, his chest pressed to mine as I lie on him, his lips soothing my every wound, slowly, silently bridging the gap that lost memories have left within me.

He breaks the kiss first, pulling back, eyelashes fluttering against my cheeks.

"Always," he murmurs against my lips, his words a slight hum, barely audible. They fill me, coursing through every vein, a molten gold spreading throughout. Despite night's cool blanket cloaking the Glade, I have never felt so warm.

He rolls so my back is pressed against the grass, his mouth at my jaw, peppering small, delicate kisses. Each time his lips brush my neck, I shiver, heat spreading from wherever his lips touch and all throughout my body: my cheeks, my neck, my core.

He kisses my neck harder; a small moan escapes my lips.

"I'll hold you to that." I say with a smile as he pushes up, raising his head to meet my eyes once again.

He doesn't say anything, leaning down to kiss me again.

I feel his smile against my lips, and it's easy to pretend we're just a boy and a girl in a world outside our own. It's easy to want more. All of it. All of him.

A smile of my own traces my mouth.

I kiss him harder.