banana fish - angel eyes

part two

"Water please."

Sing grinned widely, which really angered Ash. Since it was already frustrating enough that he purposely woke him up. Pretty rare he is not killing him for that. Ash gave him an angry look, still feeling resentful. The boy seemed to not care in the slightest. "Here."

They sat in silence for a short moment. Sing took a look around his apartment and found that he was getting lost in its contents. He quickly regained his focus and realized Ash isn't going to play around. "So. You clearly didn't come here at night for something to drink. What the hell do you want?"

Sing nodded in agreement.
"Yeah. We have to talk about Eiji."

He turned serious, looking intently at his reflection in the window. That wasn't really his style. "I need to ask you something Ash."
Ash was surprised by this, but soon realized it had something to do with Eiji. Perhaps Sing was once again trying to persuade him to go to Japan. Of course he wouldn't agree. There is nothing that could change his mind at this moment. Ash did everything possible to keep Eiji safe, so there was no need to convince him.

"What is it?" He asked him, looking at him with questioning eyes.

"Do you love him?" Sing asked.

For a minute, everything, Ash's whole world was in slow motion. Love is something that everyone should experience at some point in their life. Fate had proven time and time again that it is not meant for him.

It's clear that he doesn't even have an answer to that himself. Ash looked at Sing with a puzzled expression, not seeming to understand what he was saying. Several thoughts went trough his head. He always felt the deepest connection to Eiji, even though it was never explicitly said. "Do I love-"

Sing looked into his eyes with sincerity, repeating himself to make sure he had hit the point he wanted to make.
"Eiji. Do you love him?"

Ash was in disbelief, and Sing couldn't have been more serious at the moment. "I'm the last person you should ask these kind of things." Ash was about to walk away from him. Given his current mood, it's clear that he wasn't ready to deal with anything just yet.

Sing grabbed his arm firmly. "I think you're the only one who can answer this Ash, you know that.." Ash turned around to him, staring. He didn't say a word at first, but his face said it all.
What the hell was he talking about?

"What?"

"Ash. You know that Eiji loves you. It doesn't matter in what way. Maybe you have always known and that's what you're scared of the most. You're scared of what will happen to him. Which what made you an even more awful person. Sorry-"

Ash cut him off before he could say anything else. He didn't want to admit it, but Sing was right. Everything about this left him feeling incredibly overwhelmed. He couldn't put into words all the emotions that swirled inside of him.

"I don't think that's something that will ever change. That's just how I turned out. So you can't just come here and ask me things like that."

The short boy let out a long sigh. Even though Ash seemed to never change, there was something different about him.
"It's hard for you to be honest with yourself about this. You were always bad at that."

"I guess that's true." He answered blandly, avoiding eye contact. Ash didn't want to tell the truth, but he knew he had to.

Sing gazed into his eyes, which resulted the blonde to back off a bit.
"For once in your life: try it."

Ash took a deep breath. Never had he spoken these words out loud, it was very difficult for him. He never knew who he truly was, always feeling like a stranger in his own life. Never knowing his true identity or who he belonged to. Ash never felt comfortable expressing his feelings, even to those closest to him. And now everything has changed.

Since he met Eiji Okumura

"I remember how I felt whenever he looked at me. I never felt that with anyone else before. He knows who you really are, not listening to anyone trying to tell him different. That's the worst part probably. He's not scared of you, instead.. he is admiring you. I can't seem to shake the feeling that he's bad for me. I keep pushing him away, but it's hard."

Ash noticed that his eyes were filling with tears, he couldn't understand why he was feeling so emotional. It has been awhile since someone has made him cry like that.

"Thanks for the water, Ash."
Sing got up from the couch and made his way towards the door.

"Wait. I didn't answer your question, Sing."
Sing stopped and turned around, He gave him a small smile with a genuine expression. "At least you didn't lie or kick me out. Ash from a few months ago definitely would have the second he saw me, don't you think?"

Ash was crying bitterly, unable to stop, burying his face in his hands. Without Sing, it's likely that he would never have been able to express his feelings in a meaningful way.

He hadn't been able to do that all his life.

"Ash?" Sing called out to him and smiled warmly. He had finally realized that Ash might not be the person he thought he was.

"Eiji really is lucky."
The boy also had a tear rolling down his face. And with that, he left.