My hiding place

Mad At Disney

When I was five, I watched Cinderella follow her dreams of marrying a prince - it was her hearts desire. It was her whole story - to go to the ball, meet the prince and marry him. What else could she possibly need?

When I was six, Ariel traded the only world she'd ever known, her only family, for a chance at true love. What was the familial love she had in comparison to a life with someone who she'd never met? It's not a difficult choice.

But-

When I was seven, Rapunzel taught me that I didn't need a whirlwind romance to be strong, to be whole. Sure, it can be nice but it's just an added bonus to the beautiful life we're already leading. Who says I need a prince to save me from my tower?

And when I was nine, Merida finally showed me what it meant to be brave. It wasn't blindly following the promises of love layed out by the society around me. It wasn't waiting for someone else to show me my worth. It was knowing that I am worthy of giving myself love, knowing that the only person who knows me better than anyone is me.

It was realising that it's ok to not fall in love. It's not a requirement to succeed in life. And it's not something that I need to justify to others. There are so many types of love that maybe - just maybe - I can live without this one.

Besides, who decided that romantic love was the be-all and end-all in life?

So, yeah, I'm mad at Disney. I'm mad at Disney because it took them 74 fucking years to realise that romantic love isn't the driving factor of every little kids story. 74 fucking years to even contemplate the idea that there is so much more out there for us.

But what could possibly be more important than romantic love for a kid to understand? Self-love. Self-respect. Knowing that there is nothing wrong with you for not being in the perfect relationship. Being happy in yourself before having to be happy with someone else.

The world we grow up in shouldn't mirror Disney movies. Disney movies should better reflect the world we grow up in.

As you probably noticed, the song 'Mad at Disney' by Salem Ilese played a part in prompting this piece. That and the realisation that most Disney movies focus on, in one way or another, romantic love. There is nothing inherently wrong with that but when that's the main focus point in a whole franchise of movies, it's hard for someone to come to grips with not following that pattern.

So, this piece is for my fellow asexuals and my lovely aromantics (and anyone on either spectrum) or anyone else who can find a piece of themselves in here. You're valid and do not let anyone else tell you otherwise. We may not be living in a Disney movie but sometimes real life is filled with much more magic than any movie could try and replicate. And I hope that you find a little bit of that magic within yourself today.