Invisible String

until one very specific event happened

Preparing to go back to school the next monday was one of the most stressful things that happened in my life. I was so anxious and nervous because I didn't know what I was going to do the minute I saw her. I didn't know if I should act like everything was normal or try to talk with her about the kiss and how that would change the things between us. But arriving there and seeing how she was back into Tyler's arms as soon as I stepped outside of the bus was the answer that I needed.

I wasn't expecting her to come running to my arms and confess that she was secretly in love with me or anything like that, but I sure wasn't expecting her to be back to Tyler after everything either. I remember feeling my heart shrink to the size of a freaking olive after seeing them kissing and smiling at each other like nothing even happened a couple of days before. That made my stomach turn and added an extra side of disappointment. Cari had made her decision and, as much as it hurt, there was nothing I could do about it besides keep my distance and pretend nothing had happened.

That was both easy and hard to do. Easy because Cari started ignoring me for the next entire month. She was acting like I didn't even exist and was barely looking at me, which helped me to stay away from her. And hard because I missed her like hell. I missed walking home with her, our weekly study nights, the good mornings and the small talks in the school hallways, the interactions we used to have during practice, everything. It was pathetic how our eyes ran away from each other when one of us caught the other staring at them like that never happened before.

Things seemed to be better between her and that idiot, which made me believe that, in fact, I was part of the problem why they were always arguing before. But Cari still didn't look completely happy. I could see in one of those stolen looks that she was not okay, as much as she tried to convince herself and everyone else that she was. It was like a completely different person had exchanged places with her, someone who looked lost and absent and didn't have that shine that used to make her so unique anymore.

I tried to text her and ask her how she was but she never texted me back. She read the message and simply left me on read. It was crazy how things changed between us so quickly. It was like we were strangers all of a sudden. When I couldn't see her that way anymore, I created the courage to finally go and talk to her one day as soon as we finished practice, but when I tried to do that she ignored me and basically ran away from me. And as soon as I saw who was waiting for her at the gym exit I understood why. Tyler was there watching us and killing me with his eyes. He started taking her home again after that episode, and, although I decided to stay away from her, I absolutely didn't do it because of the little scene he made at the party telling me to stay away from her, I did it to respect her decision, not because I was afraid of him. But, at that moment, I started wondering if it really was her decision or somehow he convinced her to stop talking to me.

That thought didn't leave my mind the rest of that night. What if he prohibited her? What if he knew about the kiss? Would he do something if he saw us next to each other again? Should I do something about it?

I was lying in my bed after dinner in an internal debate trying to decide if I should text her or not and solve my desperate need to know if she was okay when I heard my phone telling me that I got a new message. For my surprise, it was the person that didn't leave my mind for the past seven months sending me the message. As soon as I saw her name my heart started racing inside of my chest.

"Hey, are you home?"

I stared at my phone for a couple of minutes when I finally answered.

"Hi. Yes."

"Can I come over?"

I had no idea what I was doing, but I said yes. Ten minutes later she was at my door, with the familiar lost look on her face and eyes showing she had been crying not too long before. That sight broke my heart.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Can I come in?"

"Sure."

She sat in my bed looking down at her hands. It looked like she was thinking about the best way to start saying what was on her mind to me. I took a chair and sat in front of her.

"You wanted to talk to me?" I said, trying to control my voice to not show how nervous I was.

"Yes. I..." I could tell she was as nervous as I was by the way she kept playing with the rings on her fingers and how difficult it looked for her to put out what she wanted to say.

"I..." I encouraged her.

"I wanted to say sorry." She said, finally looking at me.

"For?"

"This last month I've been ignoring you without any explanation and I feel really bad about it."

"It's okay, you don't have to say sorry. I think I know why you did it and, even though it makes me a little sad and disappointed, it's your choice, right?"

She looked away, biting her bottom lip, without giving me an answer.

"I just want to know if you're okay. I can see in your eyes that there's something bothering you and I wanted to know if there was something I could do to help, but apparently you're not allowed to talk to me anymore, and, if that's what you want, I'll keep my distance, don't worry."

"It's not." She said with a weak voice, almost a whisper.

"Sorry, what did you say?" I asked to make sure I got it right.

"That's not what I want." She looked at me and this time I didn't move my eyes. "I miss you. A lot."

"Then tell me what is going on Cari? Why did you cut me out of your life like that?"

"I had to."

"Why? Because Tyler told you to?"

"That's one of the reasons."

"What are you still even doing with that guy Cari? Didn't he prove it enough that he's not worth it?"

"I love him Shannon." Hearing that was like a punch in the stomach.

"Then why are you here?"

"I don't know." She said with her eyes full of tears, looking at the window. "I'm scared."

"Scared? Why?" I said trying to draw her eyes back to mine. "If you're worried about what happened that night you don't have to be. I will never say anything about it to anyone."

"It's not that." She said swiping the first tear away. "I'm scared because I can't stop thinking about you."