Our Strange Love

Chapter 14

"It'd be nice, but things don't work like that." Eran paused for a moment. "Riley..."

Having his name called softly, Riley sat up attentively with a bit of worry in his eyes.

"The department has to present a research project and, since we don't get what's happening, the professor is probably going to make us use this as our subject. So, I'll have less free time if that happens."

Riley nodded.

"And so... we might not be able to see each other for a while." That sounds awkward. It's like I'm gradually breaking up with someone. "But, if you wanted to come over to my apartment, I could text you when that's possible. And..." Maybe it's like keeping a pet whom you suddenly don't have time to walk. "If you wanted—or if I tell you to—you can... feed me." Eran crossed his arms and looked at the floor, feeling too embarrassed and awkward to make eye contact with Riley. "If I have to work on weekends, would you make me lunch or dinner?" he asked kindly and finally glanced at Riley. He was shocked to see that Riley was slightly shaking. "Are you okay?"

"Cold. Chill."

"I see..."

Riley nodded. "Mn."

"I'm going to write a few notes, then we'll leave. Think about what you'll make me for dinner."

"You're so bossy. It's not cute at all," Riley whined, leaning back.

"Who wants to be cute?" Eran mumbled. I'm a 24-year-old man. I don't want to be called cute, anyway. Should I be nicer? But that's not like me at all. I'm actually holding back on the commands. There are so many things I want to make him do and not do, but I can't control him. That's why I'm acting like an idiot, Eran thought as he recalled the Riley-sized clothes and spare toothbrush he'd purchased during his lunch break. I'm such an idiot. What am I doing?

"Hey, I know that you don't like fish, but what about shellfish and crustaceans?" Eran sat at the table flipping through microbiology books for anything worth noting, while Riley stood in the kitchen making their meal.

"How did you know I don't like fish?"

"Bubba told me."

"When did you talk to Bubba?"

"Oh..." Riley hummed innocently. "That night... I talked to him..."

"You mean that time you just left?"

"Yeah..."

Eran frowned. "Don't ever do that again." Don't ever leave without saying something.

"Got it. Got it."

This bastard, is he even serious?

"I left kinda, then came back later. Bubba saw me out back and we just chatted a bit."

"What did he say? WH-WHAT DID... Did he say anything we—"

"Don't worry, calm down. I just learned that you don't like fish and that I should be patient with you even when you get violent and bossy. That's just who you are."

That last statement got Eran to thinking: why did Riley hang around him anyway? Was it because he was forcing Riley to? I don't understand what he gets or wants from me.

Every few minutes, Eran would glance at Riley. Eran watched the skilled way in which he used his hands. I like watching him cook.

Again, Eran was pleased by the meal. He cooks healthy but it's really good. Better than Bubba's? Or maybe it just feels better because it was specially made for me and only me. ...By Riley... Trying to stay tough and in charge was starting to tire Eran. He wondered if he should just give in and shamelessly ask and command Riley to do whatever he wanted. He practiced in his mind: Don't go. It wasn't long before Eran mentally shuddered. It was too embarrassing after all.

While Riley cleaned up, Eran went to the refrigerator and stared inside at the beer he'd placed in the back. It wasn't often that he drank. Without realizing, Eran pondered, If I drink, I won't be able to take him home. He stared in the refrigerator for some seconds longer, before closing it and walking away empty handed.

Riley came out of the kitchen as Eran sat on the couch and started scanning through books again. "Ice cream."

"It's already Fall."

Eran flinched when Riley kneeled down beside him and looked over the side of the couch with innocent eyes. "Hot chocolate?"

"...Did you want something sweet?"

"You don't? Bubba didn't say anything about you not liking sweets."

"Did he just share this information or was he answering questions? Nevermind," Eran decided and tossed the book on the table. "Let's go."

Riley popped up. "Yes!"

"Are you seriously that excited?" he mumbled under his breath as he pulled on a hooded sweatshirt. Just when I was thinking about how mature he's been lately. But it's not like I hate this side of him.

They walked quite a ways to the nearest coffee shop. There and back took about 20 minutes. Back at the house, they poured the hot chocolate into mugs and added whipped cream they'd stopped and bought at a convenience store. Eran's spiral of whipped cream was a sloppy mess. With an amused smile, Riley redid it for him. Eran pouted the same way he had when his (lack of) skill in the kitchen was exposed. They sat at the coffee table.

"Riley."

"Eran."

Eran felt a chill at his name being spoken by Riley. It's so rare that he says my name. Why does it feel so strange? "Who do you live with?"

Riley scooped some whipped cream into his mouth with his tongue, then stayed silent for a few seconds. "I live alone," he finally answered.

"What about your parents?"

"My dad has been hopping from country to country for work for about a year. I don't know if my mom is even still alive; she left when I was really young to go back to her strict Indian family." 

"So you really did mean you can go wherever you want," Eran muttered half to himself.

"Yep."

He comes home to an empty house too... But he was abandoned; what's wrong with his parents? "Do you want your dad to come back?"

"I mostly don't care. He sends me enough money to get by, usually on time. It was convenient going out to clubs on weekends and staying out until morning, but that's the only convenience there is." Riley looked at Eran, his face displaying no emotion, but no hesitation, "If he came back, I'd still come over here."

Eran felt a warm heat spread from his chest to the tips of his fingers. Half of his subconscious attributed it to the hot beverage. "What do you do about school when they need guardian info or contact?"

"Well, I'm 18 and not a minor. But in the rate case they need something, they contact my dad. That is, after we manage to track him down and get a phone number. Can't be sure when he'll next check his email. Hopefully, it'll happen in reasonable time."

"Hmm," Eran's expression had a bit of cynicism.

Riley made a face as he tried to suppress a yawn.

What a stupid face. Eran mentally smiled and outwardly took a deep breath of courage. "It's late... so you can spend the night here if you want. I mean, your school is closer from here than your home, anyway."

Eran tensed while Riley stayed silent for several seconds. "What time do you want to eat breakfast?"