Our Strange Love

Smile for Me - Time 2

"Why do you ask if I have brain damage?" Elias interrogated Jay as soon as Riley stepped outside of the café.

Jay smirked regretfully. "Because I'm an impulsive adolescent." His smile faded and he stopped himself from fidgeting under Elias's uncomfortable gaze. "Did I offend you?" It's not like I meant to, but how would he react if I did?

"No," Elias responded. Jay felt both relieved and disappointed but tried not to let either show. "You're just the only one other than my ex-girlfriends who've gotten the courage to ask."

Jay raised an eyebrow. He's actually had girlfriends?

"I know what you're thinking. Yes, there were girls crazy enough to date me. What I meant was, what compelled you to ask that?"

Jay thought for a moment. What non-offensive but honest reply could he give? "Emotionally, you seem to function a few levels down from... average."

"I didn't take you as someone to skirt around things."

"I'm a surprisingly sensitive person."

"Yet you notice I'm insensitive."

Another silence fell over the table making Jay want to fidget again. Or run away. But he was too curious. "I guess that was kind of hypocritical," he admitted. "Then, just tell me."

"Whether I have brain damage?"

Why is he dancing around the question? If he doesn't want to answer, he should just say so.

"What are you going to do after high school?"

Jay wondered if he should give up on expecting an answer from Elias. In response to the off-topic question, Jay shrugged and looked away. "Bartender? Mechanic? Tattoo artist? Escort?... I have to decide by the end of winter break. I may just go for what my parents suggested which is to go to business school and inherit my family's furniture-making business." Jay looked back at Elias and felt a little irritated. Was he even listening? Elias was busy looking at his phone.

Jay decided to try Riley's style of manipulation. He put his cheek on his arm which rested on the table and looked at Elias pitifully. "Stop, and just tell me," he whined.

Right before Elias asked about Jay's future plans, Elias took the chance to pull out his phone. Jay wanted to know what made him so emotionally dull and Elias seriously considered telling him. He wrote to Eran: 'Can I trust Jay?' Is he even awake or well-enough or willing to answer back?

Elias didn't wonder long because a reply came immediately: 'I think so. Why?'

'Can I tell him about Jamee?' Elias started to type. He realised there was no way Eran wouldn't answer with a firm, "No." Then he'd start ignoring Elias, and things would never be the same between them. Elias carefully deleted the text. Replying with 'I'm thinking about telling him how I nearly drowned' would surely bring Eran's mind to Jamee, and he'd tell Elias not to tell Jay even that, in paranoia that his own personal past would need to be divulged. That was unlikely, Elias knew, and this was his own past, thus his business and decision to tell. But instead, he replied with a half-lie: 'He just seems a little suspicious.'

When Jay whined, Elias was slightly taken aback. Fine, then I'll tell you. He began his monologue:

"When I was 12, I went to a party at a friend's house. My parents weren't party people, so it was just a group of adults I didn't know. We were swimming unsupervised. I ran, slipped, hit my head, went unconscious, fell into the pool's deep end. I could swim and was fairly tall, so my friends thought I'd just come up. They thought I was kidding until they saw the blood. So, by the time I was gotten out and treated, I'd already had neurological damage from suffocation and the head injury. But I did get help soon enough to survive. After some months, I was diagnosed with irreversible 'flat affect'."