𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚 » 𝐳.𝐬.

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐲𝐞

The next morning, the spare room was empty.

zayn woke up with a massive headache and a blurry recollection of the previous night's events. his first instinct was to get some water from the fridge and make himself breakfast. he figured harry would be hungover too from how drunk he was, so he went to his room only to find the door unlocked and the bed made.

every trace of harry was gone, as if zayn had only imagined him to be there. his first instinct was to call anne, but he didn't want to worry her just yet. so he decided to contact gemma first, who responded to him with less than enthusiasm.

"you know, this is why i left you. you care more about my little brother than the fact that i just sent you divorce papers last night."

"gem, i don't have time for this. have you heard from him?"

"no. he probably realized you're a selfish prick and gave up on idolizing you."

"what do you mean idolizing me?"

"you can't be that dense, zayn. everyone can tell that he admires you. he even went to study in the states just like you did as an exchange student!"

zayn had never thought about it like that. he didn't realize just how obsessed harry had become with him and honestly... it creeped him out a little.

maybe it was a good thing harry left. maybe he finally realized that zayn wasn't anything to waste so much time and emotion on. so he hung up the call with gemma and went about his day.

it wasn't until that evening, while preparing his own dinner, that he realized his apartment felt empty. it had been nearly two months since gemma left and he's been so engrossed in grading for most of the semester that he rarely noticed how lonely his apartment was beginning to feel.

but in the quiet of his apartment, on a saturday night, he found himself missing harry's clumsily chopped vegetables and the way he would hum to himself while prancing around the kitchen in that stupid apron.

he began to worry about him then. he was just a kid, really. only seventeen. and he left without leaving a note or anything. no one had any clue where he was.

the more zayn thought about it, the more annoyed he became.

how could he just leave like that without saying a single word to me?

i'm supposed to be taking care of you, idiot.

he was so lost in his own thoughts that the sound of his phone going off made his hand slip and sliced right through his finger, just like harry had a few days prior. he cursed as blood began gushing out of the wound, quickly sucking his finger into his mouth so he could catch it.

he walked over to the couch and grabbed his vibrating phone, his eyes widening when he realized it was a call from an unknown number. he answered and sighed in relief the moment he heard harry's voice.

"um... zayn?" the boy whispers, his voice so quiet that zayn has to turn the volume on his phone up with his good hand.

"harry? where are you? are you okay? you can't just leave without telling me where you're going," zayn reprimands him, a little harsher than intended.

"i-i know i'm sorry-"

"i even called gemma and she had no clue where you were either. i'm supposed to be watching you. when are you coming back?"

harry was silent for a few moments, the only audible sound being his wavering breath. "i'm... i'm not coming back. i'm gonna stay with a friend until my parents return."

"no. i'm responsible for you, okay? i can't just let you go off with someone i don't know. who is this friend anyway?"

"he's my friend from school. i was with him yesterday."

"so the friend that got you drunk? absolutely not. come home now. i'll leave the door unlocked," zayn found himself saying as he walked over to the sink so he could wash his wounded finger.

"zayn... i'm not coming back," harry said, trying to make his voice sound firm.

"i'm not giving you a choice, harry."

"look..." harry sighs, releasing a shaky breath. "i'm sorry for leaving without saying anything but i don't think i could have faced you this morning. i don't think i can even face you now."

zayn stays quiet, letting the water rinse over his split finger as he tried to comprehend his own feelings. he decided earlier that it was better for harry to leave, so why was he trying to convince the kid to come back now?

"fine... if you want to spend the night at a friend's house and take some time for yourself then you can. but you're a minor and i'm responsible for you-"

"i'm not coming back," harry interrupts him, "i don't want to be around you anymore."

zayn stares at the blood in the sink like he's frozen in place, his mind racing with a million thoughts he can't decipher fast enough.

"i'm sorry for barging into your life and forcing my feelings on you. i was being selfish... but you've been inconsiderate too," harry says, the tremor in his voice a clear indicator that he wants to cry. "you said you kissed me because you thought i was gemma but i know that's a lie. you might have been drunk but you looked right at me. you saw me..." harry trails off, trying not to release the sob trapped in his throat.

"or maybe you did think i was gemma, but if that's true..." harry sniffles, making zayn's heart tighten in his chest. "i just can't do it anymore. i didn't think it would hurt this bad to love someone."

"harry-" zayn tries, but once again harry cuts him off.

"i don't wanna love you anymore, zayn," he finally sobs, wiping at his runny nose. "i c-can't..."

"okay, harry. i get it," zayn mumbles, finally switching off the sink before turning around to lean against the counter. "just promise me you'll be safe, okay?"

it takes harry a moment to collect himself before he mutters a quiet "yeah..." in response.

"text me if you need anything, okay? you can always come back here if something happens."

"o-okay. goodbye, zayn."

"see ya."

after the call is ended, zayn stands against the counter and stares at the half chopped potatoes on the cutting board across from him until his eyes hurt from not blinking.

he's never been good with goodbyes.

—

A/N: waah its late and im sad so y'all gotta be sad too 😁