𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚 » 𝐳.𝐬.

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫

Harry was confused.

the previous night must have been some fever-induced dream. that was the only plausible explanation.

if i didn't want you here,
you wouldn't be here.

there was no way in hell zayn would ever say something like that, especially not to him. as much as harry loved him, he knew the man wasn't warm and affectionate. at least not towards him.

the only time he can remember seeing zayn genuinely smile was his wedding day, and harry was still traumatized by the sequence of events that happened before it.

it was the same day he fell in love with zayn, when those warm amber eyes were focused on him and him alone, fingers touching when he handed him his mistakenly labelled caramel latte, deep voice rattling him to his very core.

he remembered watching zayn walk away in those white dress pants and button down, wishing he would have recognized the signs earlier.

maybe that would have spared him three long years of heart ache.

but he'd been so dazed, so hopelessly infatuated, that he forgot about his caramel latte and rushed back to the hotel so he could tell his older sister all about the man he had fallen in love with.

back then, he truly thought it was fate. it was his sister's surprise wedding day and harry had met his soulmate the same morning. any fifteen year old kid would have believed it.

but his sister was busy, preparing for her wedding no doubt, and the next time he got a chance to see her was when he was walking her down the aisle. it would have been robin, but harry begged to be the one to do it. and the next thing he knew, he was seeing amber eyes. but this time they weren't focused on him, they were on his sister.

and when he cried watching them recite their vows for one another, it was out of guilt because for the first time in his short life, he hated his sister.

there wasn't a single thing in his life that he ever wanted as much as he wanted that brown-skinned man, and she took him away before he ever got a chance to call him his.

the memory and the guilt was almost too much to handle, especially when he just promised zayn he would give up on his feelings. he knew it was going to be hard, but he didn't want to hurt anymore. and that's all loving zayn seemed to bring him was pain.

speak of the devil.

the bedroom door creaked open and out walked a disheveled looking zayn, his hair rumpled and sleepies still clinging to his eyes. "good morning," the man yawned, red-framed glass settled on the bridge of his nose.

harry always preferred him without.

he tucked his feet beneath him, looking down at his bowl of strawberries and cream oatmeal. "m-morning," he whispered, flushed as he looked at the clock and saw he'd been sitting on the couch thinking about nothing but zayn for the past twenty minutes.

"you feeling okay?" zayn asked as he turned on his coffee maker and grabbed himself a clean mug from the dishwasher.

harry ran it this morning after he woke up.

"mhm," the boy hummed softly, all doe-eyed and breathless as he watched zayn stretch his arms above his head, white cotton shirt rising just enough to expose his slim waist and tattooed skin. and of course that trail of soft-looking hair right beneath his belly-button.

zayn cleared his throat and harry's face went red, thinking he'd been caught ogling.

if he was, zayn made no further indication of it. he simply turned around so he could fill his mug with a nice 8oz cup of americano.

"um... thank you for taking care of me last night," harry said suddenly, staring down at his half-eaten bowl. "i'm sorry i ran out on you. i just... need some fresh air."

zayn made a small, indistinct noise just to let harry know he was listening as he spooned some sugar into his coffee. once he was satisfied, he carried the mug over to the couch and sat down at the edge, letting another indistinguishable sound.

"it's fine, just don't do it again," he said sternly, keeping his eyes shut as he sipped his warm beverage and sighed in relief. "if you go out somewhere, bring your phone so i can contact you."

harry took his lower lip between his teeth, nodding obediently. "well... actually..." he trailed off, the tips of his ears burning.

"actually what?" zayn asked, void of amusement as he peeked his eyes open to stare at harry before behind his thick lenses.

"i don't... have a way to contact you," the boy admitted sheepishly.

zayn stared at him for a moment, lips parted. he sighed and leaned forward, holding out his hand.

"give me your phone."

"what?" harry squeaked, his face feeling like it had been set ablaze.

"your phone. don't make me ask twice," the older man shot back with a glare.

harry hesitantly pulled his phone out of his back pocket, using his thumb to unlock it before shakily handing it to zayn.

he watched as the elder took the device and began to tap away at the screen before handing it back to him with a pointed look in his eyes. "this is for emergencies only, got it?" he asked, waiting until harry nodded frantically before he continued.

"only text me if you need something important."

"o-okay..." harry said, trying to hide his excitement.

it was going to be a lot harder to keep his promise about forgetting his feelings if zayn continued to treat to him like this.

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A/N: my nails are super long rn so i apologize for any mistakes