𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚 » 𝐳.𝐬.

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞

Harry has never been so embarrassed in his life.

"i'm so-" hiccup "-sorry..." he pouts, wrinkling his nose at the taste of his own vomit lingering on his tongue.

zayn just makes an indistinguishable noise from where he's perched on the toilet lid, a bag of harry's soiled clothes sitting at his feet. "don't apologize. at least you didn't throw up on me," he says, an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

harry pouts even further, narrowing his eyes at the other man. "that's not funny," he whines.

"you're right, it's not funny. if you threw up on me, we'd be in a completely different situation right now," zayn chuckles, eyes closed and his chin resting in his palm.

he's been like that since he helped harry turn the bath on and get out of his clothes, avoiding his gaze or keeping his eyes shut. the situation is already embarrassing enough, let alone zayn hovering over him while he takes a bath because he's afraid harry's too drunk to take care of himself.

"you c-can leave, you know? i can take a bath by myself," he grumbles childishly, rubbing the soapy washcloth over his arms and chest.

"yeah, and what happens when you fall and crack your head open? can't just leave you to bleed out on the floor," he mutters. harry can imagine him rolling his eyes if they weren't closed.

"you'd take me to the hospital like any responsible adult," harry sighs, letting his own eyes slip shut. despite his protest, he did like knowing zayn was worried about him. it made his heart feel fuzzy, especially when he remembered zayn kissed him less than an hour ago.

he was too afraid to bring it up though, and frankly too embarrassed that he threw up and ruined the moment.

"or we could just avoid the hospital trip all together if i watch over you," zayn interrupts his train of thought, waving his hand about blindly through the air. "hurry up. i'm tired and i want to go to sleep."

harry huffs in annoyance, dipping the washcloth in the water before rinsing the soap off his body. "i'm finished," he murmurs, shakily standing up in the water.

he was fine while he was sitting, but standing has the alcohol rushing to his head once again. the warmth from the bath wasn't quite helping either. he felt lightheaded and a little dizzy.

"here," zayn says, holding out a large fluffy towel in front of him. harry reaches out to grab it while stepping out of the tub with one foot, blushing when their fingers touch. he takes the towel and wraps it around his body, lifting his other foot out of the water.

he slips, of course, his foot sliding across the damp tiles. he gasps and squeezes his eyes shut as he prepares himself for the fall, nearly tumbling back into the tub before two strong arms reach out to grab him. he immediately latches onto zayn when he realizes he's not actually going to split his head open, blinking his eyes a few time before looking up to find the older man already gazing down at him.

"are you okay?" the older man asks quietly, one arm wrapped around harry's thin shoulder and the other around his slim waist.

harry nods, a bit breathless. "y-yeah. thank you," he whispers, still staring at zayn in awe. it's the second time he's been so close to him and he can smell his cologne, the rich musky scent that harry had grown to adore. he can even smell the alcohol on his breath, and the cream he uses to keep his beard neat.

zayn is watching him back and a flutter of hope rises in harry's chest when he sees those hazel eyes flicker down to his own mouth. he swallows, adam's apple bobbing in response.

"um-"

"why did you kiss me?" harry blurts out, cutting zayn off. he watches those dark eyes widen, can see the freckle in the corner of his left one. his fingers are still fisted in zayn's shirt and he just wants to pull him closer, to feel those lips against his own.

"technically, you kissed me," zayn chuckles, but it feels awkward and uncomfortable, "in my sleep."

harry pouts because he knows zayn is avoiding the question. "yeah but you kissed me back," he whines.

"i didn't mean to."

"then what did you mean to do?"

"it doesn't matter."

"it matters to me," harry says seriously, furrowing his eyebrows together. "i don't get you. sometimes you're really mean to me... and i feel like you hate me. then you're nice to me or you act concerned for me, and i think maybe you do care about me. then you kiss me..."

zayn sighs heavily and stands them both upright, his grip loosening on harry. "i'm sorry, harry. i don't know what to tell you."

"tell me why you kissed me."

"i was drunk. i am drunk. i don't know why."

"you do know why. stop lying to me."

"i'm not lying-"

"why can't you just be honest? you said that's what you admired about me, right? that i'm honest." harry can feel that familiar tingle in his nose, the pressure behind his eyes when he's about to cry. he just wants to know the truth.

"i did say that-"

"then tell me," he demands, tugging on zayn's shirt, "just be honest."

"i... thought you were gemma," zayn finally admits after a few moments of silence, each word piercing through harry's chest like a knife.

"w-what?" he stutters, his fingers loosening on zayn's shirt until his hands are falling to his sides. he can't even process that he's naked and two inches away from zayn after what he just heard.

"your sister faxed me the finalized divorce papers while you were gone. i was depressed and i got drunk... and it was dark when i woke up. i'm sorry."

harry can't look him in the eye, not that zayn will even meet his gaze anyway. he just nods silently before bending down to grab the towel that dropped to the floor, shakily wrapping it around his body.

"harry-"

"i'm sorry... i did something like that while you were hurting," harry whimpers as he looks down, his damp curls falling into his eyes. "i'm going to bed," he adds before quickly disappearing from the bathroom, leaving zayn alone to his thoughts.

—

A/N: so sorry for the wait 😭 tbh i got stuck on where i wanted this story to go but i've figured it out now and i'm excited. hopefully you guys will enjoy it 😁