Blank Canvas

Chapter Five: October 27th, 2020

Liam chuckled. "Are you kidding me, Clary? They are ecstatic to see you! They are grateful that you found your way back to them..." He paused and whispered, "unlike Lucas..."

I stared down at our intertwined hands and whispered, "I am sorry you got me instead."

Suddenly, Liam's twisted his head and glanced at me before shifting his gaze back at the road and pulled over onto the side of the highway. He placed his other hand on top of our hands and made eye contact with me. "Do not think I am upset that you survived over Lucas. I am happy that I got at least one of you back. I am so grateful you were able to find your way back to me."

"Do you re-really mean that?" Tears blurred my vision before making their escape down my cheeks and onto my shirt. His tears followed suit as he nodded before embracing my tightly over the center console of the car. He thread his fingers into my hair and held me as close as he could to his muscular body.

"Yes, I do," He whispered into my ear.

"I was so sc-scared that I ha-had no on-one." My voice began to crack and I was unable to project it louder than a whisper.

"Clary, you will always have me. I just got you back and I am not going to let anything happen to you ever again," he promised before pulling away to place his soft lips on my forehead. I was so grateful that I had Liam by my side and I was terrified of losing him. He let his lips sit there as I grasped onto his t-shirt with all of my strength.

~~

When we pulled up to the large, blue house with a wrap-around porch as a swing hung from the ceiling on its rusty chain; it felt familiar. I glanced over at Liam and he immediately read my expression. "Do not worry, Clary. It's your parents. They love you no matter if you were here for the last ten years or not. Their love is unconditional." He kissed me on my cheek softly before exiting the car. Unconditional. What is that? I just kept my mouth to prevent any embarrassment and acted as if I knew what he meant.

Suddenly, the white door opened and it pulled me out of my thoughts. I glanced up and saw two middle-age adults walking out of the house. The tall man, Dominic, had black hair slicked back while the short woman, Zoe, had thick, brown curls that framed her heart-shaped face. My car door opened, causing me to jump in my seat. I peered over and saw Liam hold his hand out to assist me out of the car. Once I exited the vehicle, Dominic's jaw dropped and Zoe began to cry at the sight of me. I stayed in place with the car on my right and Liam on my left as my legs refused to let me move.

Dominic ran up to me and embraced me firmly as he whispered in my ear. "I cannot believe it really is you, Clary. I have waited ten long years for this moment. I love you so much and I am grateful you finally came home to us."

After a while, he finally let go, but Zoe immediately wrapped her arms around me, but she hugged me softer than Dominic did as if I was fragile cargo. She combed her fingers through my hair as we swayed back and forth. "My angel is finally home. My prayers finally came through."

"I think it's time to let Clary go to her room and rest up before dinner. I bought some clothes for her while we were up in Iowa City, but she will eventually need more," Liam spoke up as he grabbed my small duffel bag from the trunk.

Zoe pulled away before jumping in excitement, "I am making your favorite dinner, Clary. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

"I cannot wait!" I said with excitement and smiled at her, even though I was unsure if I even liked it. Along with that, I could not seem to remember what the meal looked like.

"Alright! I am going to go show Clary her room while you guys get dinner ready." Liam came behind me and placed his hands on both of my shoulders.

"Are you going to join us, Liam?" She begged with not only her words, but her actions as well because her palms were touching one another in a praying position.

"I would never miss one of my favorite meals of yours, Zoe." He winked at her before whispering in my ear, "follow me."

I nodded and followed him into the home. We immediately walked into a kitchen with counters that lined the walls. The cabinets were white while the top of the counter was black. Along with that, there was a black stove, black fridge, and a black dishwasher to match the top of the counters. A large window was placed above the sink. A small, round wood table filled the center of the room with four chairs that matched the light wood of the table. There was a small staircase to my right and he pointed up there before making his way up the stairs. After he went up a few stairs, he looked behind him to see if I was following and I began to follow him.

There was one door on the left, two doors on the right, and a door at the end of the hallway. "Your room is the first door on the right then it goes to your parent's room. At the end of the hall is that bathroom and the door on the left was a room reserved for a sibling if they had one, but now it is the guest room." I nodded as he continued, "you are going to stay in the guest room."

He walked towards the door that held the guest room, but I stood in place, staring at the door that held my childhood bedroom. "Why am I not sleeping in my old bedroom?" I pointed to the door as Liam turned around to face me with his hand on the doorknob of the guest room.

"Well, I figured you would appreciate a more age appropriate room." He shrugged his shoulders. I opened the door to my childhood bedroom and was met with bright, blue walls. There was a bed in the middle of the room with a white comforter with black polka dots and it matched the curtains that covered the large window on the far wall. There was a blue nightstand on the far side of the bed that held a brown lamp, a gray alarm clock, and a picture frame. I walked into the room a little further and a small white bookcase took up the whole length of the wall to the right of me. On my left side, there was a small, white dresser with gold handles and it held a medium-sized television.

Nothing felt familiar as I continued to walk over to the nightstand and grabbed the picture frame off of the nightstand. It held a picture of what I assumed was me with two boys on either side of me at a beach. I was in a blue one piece swimsuit with a pink sun hat while the two boys had swim trunks on. We had our arms wrapped around one another.

"Lucas is on the right while I am on the left." He chuckled before continuing, "as you can tell your favorite color was blue." I continued to stare at the photo to try and resurface any memories, but I drew a blank. Liam placed his arm around my shoulder. "We all three used to be so close. Everyone used to think you had a crush on Lucas, but you would always deny it if anyone ever brought it up. Wherever he was at, you were there right by his side." He began to laugh before walking away.

I didn't realize Lucas and I were that close, to the point, that everyone thought I had a crush on him. I thought for a moment, trying to remember, but nothing came back to me. I sighed before placing the picture frame down and hurried after him. The guest bedroom was open and Liam placed my duffel bag onto the bed that was placed in the middle of the room.

He walked over to me and placed his hands on both of my shoulders. "Go ahead and settle in. Meet me downstairs when you are ready." As he was leaving the room, he stopped at the doorway, and faced me. "I am really glad you are here, Clary." He gave me a small smile before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

I scanned the room, trying to take it all in. A large bed with a white comforter and a bunch of pillows on top sat in the middle of the room, taking up most of the room. Two small, wooden nightstands on either side of the head of bed with a lamp on each stand. There were two signs on the wall at the head of the bed stating 'be our guest' on the right and 'stay awhile' on the left side. A wide, dark brown dresser was sitting against the wall across from the bed that held a large television.
I sat on the end of the bed and stared at the wall, trying to get the courage to go downstairs and face everyone. I did not know how to act and they all were pushing me to remember which was exhausting.

I fell back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling as my thoughts raced. Should I tell them about my flashbacks? Who was laying on the mattress? Was it Lucas? Is that where I have been for the last ten years? Who was drugging me? Why were they drugging me, to the point, I have no memory? I wish I could remember. All I wanted to know was what happened to me the last ten years. The most important question of all: was I even safe?