I.L.Y. - A MewGulf AU

Chapter 11: The truth

The older shook his head. “No, not really.”

“Then why, Phi?”

There was a weird edge to Gulf’s words. He sounded interested and curious, but also hopeful. Hopeful for things better left unsaid. For possibilities he shouldn’t think about. But also scared for the underlying reason. After all, if the older husband didn’t like the original Gulf after all, that meant his chance was even lower.

My chance of what exactly? Stop thinking like this Gulf!

Mew seemed to be lost in thought for a moment. Gulf was about to speak up again, but Mew seemed to have made up his mind. “You know about how Tong asked everyone at the party, who was the cutest between TharnType and MewGulf?”

The younger nodded, having no idea where this was going.

“And then how P’Mame responded that TharnType’s love is fiction and… ours is real?” Mew whispered the last part, eyes far away like he wasn’t talking to Gulf.

“I remember,” Gulf said loudly, trying to get Mew to return to him.

“I don’t think our love was ever real,” Mew spit out the words.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Gulf felt himself growing annoyed at the older husband. What the hell was he going on about?

“It’s like… when you play a character, sometimes you’re taken over by their feelings,” Mew tried to explain, carefully choosing his words. “Do you understand?” he looked up this time, a sad smile on his lips.

Gulf shook his head. “No. Not at all,” the words left his mouth a little rougher than he intended, but it was too late to take it back. He didn’t know Type. He never played Type.

Mew sighed again, deeper than before. “I think I got so into playing Tharn – the role – that I got my own feelings intermixed,” his voice was loud and clear, but Gulf still didn’t understand anything he said.

“That sounds ridiculous,” Gulf admitted irritated.

Mew smiled that same smile again. “It isn’t, believe me.”

There was a pause as both men didn’t say anything, both lost in their own thoughts. In Gulf’s case, his confusion about what Mew just said. It sounded like utter bullshit to him, but what could he say? He had no experience in acting at all, so maybe the older was right? Gulf didn’t want him to be right though. He suddenly felt offended in this world’s Gulf stead! They had been married for 2 years for fucks sake! How could you suddenly decide it all to be fake! Who could even be with someone for that long if it’s just fake!

“What about m-” me, Gulf wanted to say, but he quickly recovered himself. Bad moment to be identifying with this world’s Gulf. “about Gulf? What are his feelings?”

“I’m sure he feels the same,” Mew’s voice sounded defeated, like he had long accepted whatever was going on between him and his Gulf. However, this Gulf couldn’t so easily accept it.

“Have you asked him?” he asked, growing even more impatient at the man I front of him. His own feelings for Mew aside, how could Gulf’s feelings been anything but real? He had seen the videos and clips of them together, read the texts he sent to his family, even his conversation with P’Best had shown him Gulf cared about Mew. He himself, as well, knew how it was to like the man – the world love shouldn’t be spoken, he shouldn’t love him – so how could Gulf’s feelings be anything but real!

Mew let go of Gulfs hands, himself growing annoyed at the younger man. “We’ve had plenty of fights about it, so I’m pretty sure.” The words that left his mouth were definite, like he wanted to put a stop to this conversation suddenly.