Bittersweet // Complete

19.

Chapter 19

Noah drove me back in silence, and I watched the city coming to life in front of me. Once I was able to recover from the high he'd dazed me into with his kisses and his touch, my brain was buzzing with questions and doubts. What would I tell Eleanor?

I didn't want to give up on whatever this thing was, what Noah and I had, but in doing so, I was really just stabbing Eleanor in the back and I didn't want to do that. I never wanted to do that. I wondered if my thoughts were loud enough that the woman walking down the street could hear them. What if she was listening to every single question running through my mind? What advice would she have to share?

We passed her by even before I had a chance to clearly see her face.

Even with the usual hustle, Noah was parking a block away from my apartment soon enough, and I couldn't wait till I could escape from the clutches of his perfume and the sage from his car. It had to stop infiltrating my mind, it had to allow me to think freely.

"When are you planning on telling her?" He asked, running a hand through his hair.

"I don't know." I shrugged, not having a better response.

Undoing his seatbelt, Noah leaned over, opening the door for me, as he always did. It was endearing, but the only thought in my head was, did he do this for her too?

I unlocked my seatbelt, grabbing my phone and making an exit, only to be stopped by Noah's warm hand on my wrist, preventing my escape.

"Don't I get a kiss?"

I was drained by my thoughts. Having no more energy to fight my attraction, but also no more energised to start an argument about this, I kissed his cheek softly, before making my escape. If Noah was disappointed, he didn't show. He just drove away as soon as I was out.

I picked up some eggs from the corner store before heading up, finding the house silent. River had still not woken up and Nathan had probably left for work by now. I did a quick sweep of the house, dusting the shelves off dust and rearranging the cushions in the living room.

"What's on your mind?" River yawned, finally emerging from the cave.

"Nothing," I propped the photoframe against the wall again, now sparkling clean.

"You're cleaning the house," she pointed out, as if that made everything obvious.

"Well we're obviously not rich enough to afford house cleaners, so," I shrugged, continuing on to dusting off imaginary webs off the curtain railings.

"Come on, you become obsessed with cleaning when you don't want to think about something. It's like you just train your mind to shut down and just do robotic jobs." River might have been the most absent roommate, but she was incredibly perceptive to have picked up on that. I dropped the feather duster on the ground, folding my knees to my chest and leaning on her shoulder. The weight of my lies was killing me, and I needed to tell someone before I would be crushed under it.

"I kissed Noah today," I confessed.

"Isn't that a good thing? You can't stay a little miss virgin forever!"

I blushed, despite her words being far from true, "It's good, I really like him. But..."

"But?" She swatted my hands as I picked at the ends of her sweater.

"But Eleanor likes him too," I grumbled, sinking further into her. I told River everything, and the words kept spilling out of my mouth till I narrated the events of this morning.