explosion (jay halstead / one chicago)

epilogue

"Have you guys talked to Liz recently?" Jay asked, walking up to the front desk. Kim sighed. She would have been Liz's field training officer by now if Liz was still in Chicago. But since she left, Kim was riding with her close academy friend Silvio instead. The two of them exchanged a glance. They knew it was hard, both for Jay and for Liz. But they were also aware that Jay didn't know the whole story.

"Yeah, I talked to her a few days back," Silvio replied. Jay turned to him. "How is she doing?" He hoped that she was doing better than him. Silvio shrugged. "Just trying to deal with it all," he answered truthfully. He didn't want to lie to Jay, but he also didn't want to go too much into detail.

Kim felt bad for Jay. The day that Liz told him she was leaving, Kim had come up to him, not knowing about it yet. "Just a few more days," she had said, excited about Liz starting to work at the district soon. Jay had shaken his head, deep in thought. "She's not coming," he had said. "She's moving to New York City." Kim had laughed, because she thought it was a joke. Jay and Liz were always joking. "Yeah, sure," she had replied. "We should throw her a goodbye party."

She had only learned Jay was telling the truth when she walked into the district the following Monday to find that Liz wasn't there for her first shift. Platt had told her Liz wasn't coming, and that Kim was going to be with Silvio from now on. Trudy had then allowed the two of them to go to Liz's place, were Liz was just packing up her last things. Sylvie was there, too, of course, and Liz's brother Kelly. Those were the people who knew the full truth, about everything, including the pregnancy. Kelly, Sylvie, Kim, Silvio, and Platt. Platt was the one who organized Liz's short-term transfer to New York, she had contacts there. The rest of them could do nothing but accept their friend's decision and watch. "I need some time for myself," Liz had told them. "That won't work when we see each other at the district every day." Then she had turned to Kim. "Take care of Jay, okay?" she had asked. She new exactly how hard it would be for him. For both of them.

Kim shook the thought from her head. Now wasn't the time to remember those last moments together, the hurt in Liz's eyes, and the pain when she left. "It's all my fault," Jay said. "I should have told her the truth, from the beginning." Kim exchanged a glance with Platt and Silvio. They all knew Jay was blaming himself, but they also knew they had to keep him sane through all of this. "Don't go there," Kim stopped him. "You don't know what would have been."

meanwhile, in new york city

Detective Jenna Stewart was a pretty woman, just slightly older than Liz. She had the same blue eyes as her brother Alex and the same blond hair, although hers was longer, and tied back in a neat ponytail. "Thank you so much for meeting me," Liz said. Jenna smiled. "My pleasure. If Alex thinks you're a great girl, then it must be true."

Alex was Liz's field training officer in New York City. He had been the first here to know about her pregnancy, since it was hard to hide it from your partner forever. He had taken it well, though. He was a good guy, father of three amazing kids, and therefore very supportive. When he had heard that Liz was still searching for a place to stay in the long term, he had suggested to arrange a meeting with his sister Jenna, who was looking for a roommate, and, by the way, loved kids. He had laughed and said it might be easier for Liz not to be alone with it anyway, especially during the pregnancy. He was probably right about that.

"So, I heard you're alone and pregnant and looking for a place to stay," Jenna noted, breaking the ice. "Not the best conditions for moving across the country." Liz smiled, although she didn't really feel like it. Being reminded of her situation just made her realize how wrong it felt all over again. She wasn't supposed to be here, pregnant and alone in New York City. She was supposed to be at home, in Chicago, with her friends and family. With Jay.

She shook the thought from her head. "You're probably right with that," she replied. "But here I am." They both laughed. Jenna seemed like a nice woman. Liz just hoped she would agree to move in together, she desperately needed a proper place to stay. "Where's the baby father?" Jenna asked curiously. Liz didn't take it badly. It was a reasonable question, after all. She sighed. "He's a detective at Chicago PD."

Jenna studied Liz in a mixture of surprise and interest. "So, you slept with a detective when you started patrol and it turned out a bad idea?" She raised her eyebrows suggestively. Liz couldn't blame her. That's what everyone would think when looking at her current situation. "No," she clarified. "We were actually dating for quite a while, before I even went to the academy."

"Oh." Jenna nodded. "So, he doesn't want the baby?" Liz shook her head quickly and looked down at her hands. "He doesn't know about the baby," she answered quietly. If there was one thing about this situation that was worse than everything else, it was that she didn't find the courage to tell Jay about her pregnancy when she last saw him. It hurt. And she knew that it was wrong. He deserved to know, hell, he had every right to. But she couldn't do that to him. She couldn't tell him she was pregnant and then move away.

"Oh," Jenna said again. "You gotta tell me more about that when we live together." Liz glanced at her sceptically. It sounded like Jenna was fine with being roommates. But Liz didn't like talking about things. Jenna noticed her insecurity. "In case you ever feel like it," she added with a sympathetic smile. Liz nodded in relief.

Maybe, after all, New York City hadn't been such a bad idea. Maybe she could be friends with Jenna, and maybe she could get through the pregnancy with her help. Maybe she could manage her life, manage her job and the baby. Maybe everything was going to be alright eventually.

If the doubt and guilt just weren't eating her alive.

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sooooooo, this is the last part of the story... as i noted before, there is a sequel. it's called 'remorse' and its prologue is out now on my profile! i will say more to that and some other stuff in the final author's note following this, so feel free to read it if you're interested! thank you so so much for giving this story a shot and staying with me until the end! pls don't hate me, and leave a vote or comment if you like! ❤️