Serenis

Chapter 2

My chest tightened as I slowly pulled open the freezer door again, praying I wouldn't find anything in there except some year old fish sticks and the Christmas cake that Grandma had sent for Dad. Even though he hates fruit cake more than he hates vegetables we kept it in the freezer until his guilt wore off and we could finally throw it away. I could have sworn all of the meals had gone; in fact, I was positive of it. I ate the last one for lunch on Wednesday and had made sure that absolutely no chicken risotto meals were left in the house. With that in mind I confidently pulled open the door and looked inside, but as I lifted up the fish sticks box my heart sank when I saw the "Betty May Frozen Chicken Risotto" meal. I lifted it out, threw it on the counter and burst into tears.  

What was going on? Was I losing my mind? A normal person wouldn't fall apart at a stupid frozen meal but since these dreams started I'd been on edge every morning and had been meticulous about staying away from two things - frozen risotto and Froot Loops. I tried to pull myself together and ran upstairs to have a shower. 

As I let the hot water wash over my hair I went through the dream for the thousandth time, analyzing every small detail of it, from the time of day it took place to what I was wearing. I tried to think of anyway that I could possibly change the fate of the next scene... the car scene.  

So, I had taken the meal out of the freezer but I wasn't dressed yet. I decided then and there that I was going to wear my flat shoes to work instead of the heels that featured in the dream, even though I always feel like my legs look ten inches shorter and stubbier in flats, today I would put up with it. There was no way around not wearing the navy blue skirt and white shirt as all my other work clothes were in the wash. 

I got out of the shower, dried my hair and by the time I got dressed and put on my make-up I still had 30 minutes left to decide my next step. Filling up my second cup of coffee for the morning an ingenious thought came to me, I rummaged through my purse to find my cell. Ben! Ben was the answer to my problem. 

Ben and I had been friends forever; I was one when Ben and his family moved to our little cul-de-sac and since then we have been inseparable. We went to kindergarten together, celebrated birthdays together, camped together (an activity that was promptly stopped at the age of 13 when Dad realized I was in love with Ben, something I wouldn't figure out until I was about 16).  

Ben's family was my family and also featured heavily on our wall of memories. Whenever we had an "invite your mother to school day" in Elementary school it was Ben's mom, Nancy, who would come as my representative. When I needed my first bra it was Nancy who took me to the mall - Dad tried his best but looked as if he was having a coronary when we hit the "Little Miss" section, so Nancy graciously stepped in for him.  

When I was accepted into college it was Nancy who helped throw my going away party. When I decided after six months that college was not for me and that my talents would be better put to use in the workplace it was Nancy who came and picked me up and then helped talk my Dad into letting me take a "gap" year before we discussed my return to the Ivy League halls. She was literally the mother I never had and I was just as much in love with her as she was with me. It was just a pity her older son wasn't.  

Ben and I had a very confusing relationship. Even though we dated other people on and off throughout the years it was always kind of expected that we would end up together, something I wasn't sure of until the day I dropped out of college. I was hiding out in Ben's room waiting for Nancy to give me the all clear to go over to my house and talk to Dad. Ben had been at work and had no idea I was home. I hadn't called him from the road as I knew he would take my Dad's stance and try to talk me into staying where I was.  

As Ben walked in I burst into tears. He ran over to the bed and hugged me, worried why I was back so suddenly. We talked for hours about everything except the decision I had just made to leave school and come back to the safety and comfort of home. I knew he was disappointed but the fact he didn't say so meant he would probably try to change my mind later. However, he held me whilst I sobbed into his shoulder and told me that whatever I decided to do would be the right choice, no matter what, he would be there. I knew right there and then that he was mine and I was his.