Runaway

.08

I stared at her dull eyes that happened to be a muddled green before answering, "You talked about how amazing it was in New York when we were in that massive group. You spoke about the beauties of the world and how small Mansfield was in your mind while experiencing it all."

I watched her smile softly at that. Savannah ran her fingers through her hair before she asked, "But what did I say when it was just you and me?"

I sighed and looked at the road again. It wasn't anything horrible, but I never thought I would have to repeat what she had to get drunk to say. We were both silent even as I turned onto the highway to head to town. Suddenly her fingers were pulling my hand from the wheel and intertwining them together. She squeezed, giving me her last bit of strength.

"You said that no matter what happened tomorrow, you'd never stay here. You said that even though you loved me, you couldn't be happy staying here. You said that happiness was the key to survival and that your key to survival was me. And I know you had to get drunk to say those things out loud, Savannah. I've read your journal," I said quietly and held onto the wheel for dear life. My knuckles turned white as the silence settled in, but I did not complain because my other hand was still in hers.

"You're right," she murmured, pulling my hand to her lips. Slowly, carefully she kissed each knuckle then rested them against her forehead. "I can't be honest about my feelings out loud. I was never destined to be...one of them. If getting drunk is the only way I can talk openly, no one should have to deal with that."

I took my hat off then and put it on her head. We were in town now and I couldn't risk too many people seeing her and then alerting her parents. The people at the party last night understood that she wanted her presence in Mansfield to be kept quiet. Those around town wouldn't understand.

"Too bad I want to deal with it then, huh?" I retorted as I parked outside of the convenient store. I got out and went inside to get her the only type of coffee that she could stand from this place: French vanilla cappuccino. After I paid and joked around with Kerry-she was Savannah's old best friend that graduated two years ago-for a minute, I walked back out to see Savannah wearing the hat low over her eyes and pointing to the other side of the parking lot. I turned around inconspicuously and saw Beth getting out of her old car.

I ran.

*

Later that day, we went out driving around. Savannah let me drive her pickup but refused to get in mine still. There was no reason to be offered except that she just didn't want to sit in my pickup. Jack claimed it was from the memories and I couldn't find a reason to disagree.

Savannah sat with her back against the door and feet in my lap, listening to one of her old favorite country songs-I honestly did not think that she still listened to country. And she looked gorgeous in a pair of ripped up, faded jeans, and an old graphic tee that had the batman logo on it. Her flip flops were on the floor, and her hair was semi tied back in the messiest way possible. Seeing her like this made me want to lean over and kiss the hell out of her.

I turned down the radio when a song that even I didn't know came on and surprisingly she didn't complain. Instead she said, "Why don't we go there?"

I looked down to see she had half a tank of fuel in this thing and then at her to see her wearing that half-smile that melted my heart all over again. Within seconds, I was driving out to our spot and she was connecting the radio to her phone to play her favorite song of all time: R U Mine? By the Arctic Monkeys. I didn't even try to change the song even though it's burned out.

This was the same place that we had our best and...worst talks. This is where so many things that furthered our relationship happened. And this is where Savannah promised herself to me. That day I felt more loved and loving than I ever have.