The Tattoo (Troyler AU)

Chapter Nineteen: Troye

“Troye! Wake up!” I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, and saw the love of my life standing above me. Looking to the clock, I saw that is was only 7 in the morning. Why had Tristan gotten me up now? 

“It’s Christmas babe!” I shot upwards, excited despite the obvious dampener on the day; I was Jewish. Who cares? Christmas should be universal.

 I made a quiet noise of excitement, and jumped out of the warm bed that we shared. Tristan grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the lounge, the pre-agreed place for us to open our presents. The room was incredibly festive, despite it’s small size, with tinsel draped along the sofas and the tree standing in the place of honour. Beneath the tree was a small pile of presents for each of us. We’d said that we wouldn’t buy each other too much for Christmas, mostly because of the low balance of our bank accounts.

“Open this one first, please?” I thrust a small present into Tristan’s hands, excited for him to see what I’d given him. I’d put a lot of thought into his presents, more thought than money, if I was completely honest. 

The tearing of paper drew me out from my thoughts, and I saw Tristan clutching the small notebook that had his initials in the leather binding. He enveloped me in a hug, mumbling a faint “I love you.” in my ear. 

“This one.” My slender fingers tore into the present, to see a vinyl record of Lorde’s album, my favourite album. My eyes welled up, and my heart ached at the fact that he knew me so well so as to buy me a vinyl of my favourite album. He knew me. He loved me.

I flung myself into his arms, comfortably nestled and encased in his safety. Thumps beat against my head that rested so well on his chest, alerting me to my reality. He was my reality, my everything. This was real, not some made-up fantasy dreamt up by a teenage boy, he was real, we were real. That realisation was better than any present could have ever been.

“Do you like it?” The huskiness and unease of his voice brushed past my ears, and I only snuggled into him further, confirming how perfect it was. His hand played with my hair softly, and, for a little while, we ignored the presents, the time, the inevitability of responsibility, and lay there, content in ourselves and in the other’s company. 

How was I so lucky? He got me completely. The emptiness, the insecurity, the unknown worries, they didn’t matter with him. He alleviated all of the terror, calmed my nerves, filled the abyss that lay within my soul. Maybe not completely, but he was it. I knew it. There was a feeling of bliss laying there in his arms, and maybe, just maybe, we had an infinity there. And maybe we had two minutes. 

The dark corner of my mind still whispered in my ear, filling my being with doubts and worries, nerves and constricting thoughts. There was still that doubt. I couldn’t doubt him anymore though. I couldn’t. I knew how he made me feel, and I knew that I never needed anything else.

As I lay there, in his arms, my thoughts turned to my family. Did they miss me? I didn’t really talk to them as much as I should, considering that I would have to choose between them and Tristan, which wasn’t one that I was willing to make. 

Was Sage happy? How was her prom? I wish that I could’ve been there. I saw photos, and she looked so beautiful, I cried. How did that small girl who used to irritate me so much, turn into my gorgeous sister? I missed her.

Was Steele happy? How was his girlfriend? I hadn’t even met her. He’d been with her a while, but he’d only worked up the courage to introduce her after I had left. I hadn’t even visited.

Was Tyde happy? Did he have a girlfriend? He was so tall now, not that I’d really know. I’d been a bit of a shit brother, what with not being there for a year or so. What if he’d ever wanted any advice, and I hadn’t been there to give it to him.

I missed my parents. My mum, the one who told me off, but then laughed with me, and baked with me. She’d always cover me in flour, leaving handprints everywhere.

I missed my dad too. He was so funny, and the moment I came out, he held me close, and told me that he didn’t care, that he’d always love me, that it made no difference.

A few tears slid down my cheeks as I thought of the moments we had and the ones that I’d missed. Maybe LA was the wrong decision. I could’ve stayed in Australia, with my family, I should’ve waited until I was ready.

And then I looked at the strong arm wrapped around my middle, and the destructive thoughts dissipated completely. LA gave me him. Things had been tough, but he made it all worth it. All the late nights, all the rejections, all the dead-ends, gave me him. 

Tristan shifted from underneath me, and I turned to him.

“Open the rest of them.” I grinned, and scrambled like a child towards the pile. We sat there in harmony, gradually opening and appreciating what we’d gotten each other. Tristan wrapped his bracelets around his wrist, and I sniffed at the various hair products that had been so neatly wrapped.

We decided to forgo a traditional Christmas dinner, and settled with a pre-made pizza in front of the television. The static sound washed over me as I prepared to do something that I’d never done.

“Tristan?” 

“Yeah babe?” He sounded vaguely confused, but I had to do this.

“Why are you with me? I mean, I’m skinny, you’re built. I’m small, you’re tall. I’m kind of ew, and you’re gorgeous. You could have anyone, yet you settle for me. Why?” Months of unresolved fears tumbled past my lips, and as I was finishing the last syllable, and preparing for the inevitable blow, his lips connected with mine.

“Troye Sivan Mellet,” he mumbled against my closed mouth, “I do not settle for you. If anything, you are settling for me. What you see as skinny, I see as slight. What you see as small, I see as perfect. What you see as ew, I see as breath-taking, incredible, jaw-dropping. You are something else, Troye Sivan Mellet, and it amazes me that you simply don’t see how unique and stunning you are. You are all that I’ll ever need, and all that I’ll ever want.” My breath caught in my throat as I attempted to process the torrent of loving words. 

His arms pulled me closer, and I welcomed his embrace. He was my everything. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

A/N hai

surprised to see me? i kinda am too. 

it's been weird and tough but it's fine and after a little while less immersed in the internet, i feel better slightly, which is odd.

i missed you guys so much, you have no idea <3333

we're at 67k rn but here i go anyways

50K. 50 thousand reads. 67 thousand reads. 4k votes and 4k comments.I'm over halfway to my goal of 100K reads, and to be honest, I never thought that I'd make it past 1k, so thank you guys all so much. ily all, genuinely, you make my day <3

I ALSO NOW HAVE A SPOTIFY THANKS TO @troylerplz , WHO IS BASICALLY ONE OF MY FAVES AND MY AUSTRALIAN SOULMATE AND SO THAT IS WHO THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO, FOR HER BEING MY FAVE PERSON AND BEING THE BEST DRAGON PERSON EVER! ily aariel, don't ever forget that, so HATERZ BACK OFF!

yeah my spotify is troylerislyfekk and I have a playlist for this story and I listened to the acoustic version of Chocolate by the 1975 for this chapter and yeah you can see the music i'm into so yeah have fun with that just another way for you to stalk me

LOVE YOU LOT (also this chapter was some cute #troystan action, which ik you will appreciate ;) )

SEE YOU SOON <3