Way Too Complicated (Boyxboy Romance)

Chapter 7

If you are reading this, please leave a comment just giving me some feedback so I know what people like. Vote, COMMENT!!!!!!, Enjoy ;-)

The conversation fell away as soon as Nathan walked out of the door. Dave looked behind him as the door shut close. “And who exactly was that?” He said with a slight smile on his face, wagging his eyebrows. Dave knows about my orientation ever since I came to Colorado. He was probably the only person that I hadn’t dated that knew outside of my family. I don’t remember what ever led me to tell him. Maybe it was the fatherly vibe he was always giving off. He was so gentle with me, there was a time where I even started to crush on him. But the thought went straight out of my mind when he introduced me to his girlfriend and son.

Now he was just a good friend and one of my only confidants. I looked at his eager face and felt myself get heavier with dread. Who was Nathan? He saved my life. He watched over me while I was sick. He caught me several times when I fainted. And he held me while I broke into shards because of my dream. If anything it sounded like he was my boyfriend, but we had literally only met today. Not to even mention that he was said that he wasn’t gay with a vehement passion that almost made be suspicious. But a thought like that was pointless. He was so much like all the boys that have broken my heart in the past. Regardless of everything that had happened today, there was no way that I could possibly feel anything for him in the future. I won’t let myself be broken a third time in my life. Besides, if I remember correctly he was dating Emma King. There would be no chance anyway anyhow.

“Nathan?” I asked, returning to the subject at hand. “He was just a guy from school who helped me out...” I began to trail off at the sight of Dave’s single eyebrow slowly rising.

“Lukas. Your eyes are puffy and your voice is still croaky. Are you going to tell me why you've been crying?"

"What are you talking about? I told you, I'm sick…" But I knew that was barely an excuse. It’s been three years. Dave knows me too well.

I don’t know what it was that suddenly came over me, but all at once everything hit me. The break up with Kelly, my life being and danger, and finally what I think hit me hardest, the dream. The image if my father and the church looming over me. No matter how long we tried to work on it, it made no difference. Once I realized I was different, I came to accept it, and regardless of what my father had done I know that nothing could be done to change who I am. All I can do was get help to not let what my father did to me become a permanent trauma. However, the memories were still there as were the scars that made it impossible to forget.

I felt the tears come in a single strong wave. And in a split second I was on my knees crying on Dave's lap. He ran his fingers through my hair and shushed me. “How long do you think it will take this time?” he asked in a hushed tone.

I shook my head. I didn’t even know what more could be done. I’ve been going to therapy on and off for about two and a half years now. But just when I thought that I was getting better, finally getting over this nightmare, a scene like what happened today would occur and then I would be ten steps behind where I started. There was no escaping it.

Nathan

I woke up that morning feeling absolutely rested. With a deep breath I opened my eyes to my room only tainted with a few rays of sunlight. Why is it that everything feels so good this morning? Was it because I slept for a solid 10 hours? Or that fact that I didn’t have any dreams? I guess it was both. I picked up my phone on my nightstand and turned it on. 13 missed calls and seven text messages. 8 calls, four texts from Emma and the rest from Jay. I groaned and threw my phone back down. There was going to be a lot of explaining I had to do this morning. And I suddenly remembered that I had to finish the final 400 words on an essay due today for world history. I groaned once again. Well there goes my good mood.