Sunflowers

Sixes, Halves, and Solutions

Time passed in flashes. Fragments. Some days, Thia could laugh and joke and felt like everything would be okay. Others, she couldn't pay attention in class, could hardly eat, could barely get out of bed at all. And then there were days in the middle. Those were the worst.

It was on just such a day in late May that Thia was found by none other than Sirius Black, in one of the numerous window seats that dotted Hogwarts' halls. Some people would never have believed that any of the prank kings of Gryffindor could have changed, and Thia would have been one of them had she not seen it for herself.

For months, he didn't smile, didn't laugh, didn't prank. He did his schoolwork, he ate, he slept. Remus said that he barely talked to the Marauders anymore. James kept saying Sirius needed space, time to think. Peter didn't say much at all.

"What's wrong, Sirius?" Thia asked, slipping a bookmark into the page she was on. She hadn't been paying much attention to the story anyway. He shook his head, rubbing his face with his hands. She tucked her knees to her chest, keeping her distance.

"I... My brother isn't..." He shook his head again, "I ran away from home this summer. I tried to get Regulus to come with. That house is bad for him. He refused. Said he owed it to the Black name to be the good son. And he... he said he was going to get the Dark Mark soon."

"He's only a year younger than you, Sirius, it's his decision. You tried, there's nothing else you can do."

"You don't know what it's like, Thia," Sirius choked out, "Having to say goodbye to my own brother. He was all I had growing up!"

"Be grateful that you could say goodbye, Sirius," her voice turned cold, "Not all of us have that luxury." She stood, walking away. A tightness was forming at the base of her skull and a restlessness plagued her legs. It made her snippy.

"How would you know, Simmons?" He spat, suddenly vicious. Thia stopped, her sad brown eyes meeting steely grey.

"I was taken from my home and my friends when I was six. I watched my parents die at 6. That year, I had two limbs amputated. Just nine months ago, I found my best friend hanging, because she didn't feel worthy of living anymore," She turned to go, "All because you couldn't find a better way to deal.

"I'd say I know a lot about being able to say goodbye, wouldn't you?"

~

Thia walked for a long time after that. The restlessness that had begun in her leg had climbed through the rest of her body, and she just couldn't stay still. She couldn't seem to do anything besides walk. So that's what she did.

She walked.

And walked.

And walked some more.

And soon it was suppertime, and she knew she should go down and sit with her friends and laugh and talk and appear to have a good time. She knew she should go and talk to her aunt, see if there was something she could take to soothe this unease that filled her every bone. Thia knew a lot of things that she should do. But she couldn't.

So she kept walking. Up to the seventh floor and down to the dungeons. From the Astronomy Tower to the Charms Classroom. Left and right, right and left. And somewhere along the way, a boy fell in step with her, keeping time with her anxious gait. He didn't try to talk, didn't wonder where specifically they were going. Maybe it was because he had been there before; been victim to that uncomfortable disquiet.

Eventually, the pair ended up in Augustus's gallery beneath the Astronomy Tower. Thia sank to the floor and Remus joined her, letting her tuck herself under his arm. She drew her knees to her chest, wrapping skinny arms around them. 

"I never told you, did I?" she asked quietly, "About the 'incident'?" She lined the last word with sarcastic quotation marks. Remus shook his head.

"Do you want to know?" He hesitated. Did he want to know? Yes, he was curious, always had been, but he also knew how painful it was to talk about trauma. Then he nodded.

"I was six," her voice seemed distant, disconnected from the small body that was nestled into his side, "It was Christmas. I was sleeping when they took us."

"They?" he asked quietly.

"Men. One said something about 'Madame'." She shuddered, "I don't remember everything. Healer Alex says I probably never will. I was kept in a dungeon, I know that. Given bread or oatmeal once a day.

"I didn't see Mama or Papa for days, I think. I know that when I did see them, they were tied up. They tried to pull free when they saw me.  There was a man. He told them for every wrong answer he would let someone he called Greyback," Remus flinched and drew her closer, "He would him bite my arm or leg. After the first time, they left me in the room with Mama and Papa."

"Oh, Thia," Remus rested his chin on her head.

"The Aurors found us after two weeks. Too late for Mama and Papa. and almost too late for me," she heaved a shuddering breath, "It was six years this Christmas, Remy. Half my life I've spent without them."

He didn't know what to tell her, so he just hugged her tight. It seemed that was all she needed, because she buried her face in his shirt and held on.

~

"Madam Pomfrey?" Healer Alex approached the matron after Thia's next session. Thia had already slipped away to her dorm room. Poppy handed her current patient a pepper-up potion and then beckoned the healer into her office.

"How is she doing?" Healer Alex sighed.

"She's opening up more, but it's obvious that the anxiety attacks and episodes are not getting better. I don't believe that just therapy will help her. There are other methods that I think if combined with her therapy sessions would be beneficial."

Poppy dragged a hand over her face, "What are they?"

"Medicine. I'd prefer this more of a last resort, as she is still very young. Group therapy with other amputees and people who have gone through similar experiences could be good," Alex shuffled the papers, "There's another that I think could help. It is muggle-based, though."

"What is it?"

~

A/N - Hello, lovelies! Sorry it's been so long! School is hitting hard. We just finished our first quarter, and I think I've finally gotten a rhythm for writing. However, my fanfictions are going to start taking a backseat to my originals, such as Pip and Biscuit—which will have at least 1 companion book ;). So they'll probably be updated once every two weeks instead of every week.

Later, loves!

Kit