Dear Diggory

chapter 54

I heard the unexpected echo of voices coming from the common room and I knew the students had returned.

I smiled to myself, it felt good that the castle would be full of life again after the weeks of silence. I had almost begun to go mad with only my thoughts and books to occupy me.

I heard thundering footsteps coming from the staircase and a few moments later the girls burst into the room. I jumped up from my bed and ran to embrace them in tight hugs.

"I missed you guys so much!" I exclaimed and they chuckled into my ears.

"We missed you too! Did you get bored without any company?" Evelyn asked and we all withdrew, beginning to exchange details of how our holidays had been.

We chatted excitedly and it felt like a relief to have my friends back. They all seemed refreshed from their break and I was happy that they'd had a good time with their families.

Dakota pulled out a biscuit tin and offered us the ginger nut cookies her mother had insisted she bring back with her. We each took one appreciatively and I relished the crunchy spice on my tongue.

The girls began to unpack and I sat back on my bed, watching them settle back in. I was watching Maisie attempt to cram all her Christmas chocolates into her bedside cabinet when Evelyn spoke up.

"By the way, Cedric told us to tell you to meet him in the courtyard. He said he wants to talk."

They all turned to stare at me as she said this, a unified look of concern across their features.

I just nodded in understand and pulled on my shoes and coat. They wished me luck as I left the dorm and made my way towards the courtyard. Every step felt heavy and I tried to contain my nerves as I got closer to where he waited.

I stepped outside into the courtyard and scanned around. My eyes fell onto his board frame, sitting at a bench on the other side, and he smiled slightly when he saw me.

I felt my heart tense at the sight of him. He looked even more handsome than usual and I wasn't sure if it was the snow adding to the beautiful image or my not having seen him in a while.

I made my way over slowly and brushed the snow from the spot as I perched on the bench next to him.

"Hey," he spoke quietly and I realised that we were both nervous. That was a reassuring sign, it showed that he still cared about our friendship.

"Hi" I replied.

The atmosphere was thick with tension and I watched my breath freeze into a smoke cloud as I exhaled, happy to have some distraction from the intensity of the discussion.

I could feel his gaze on my face so I plucked up the courage to turn and meet his stare. The force of his eyes hit me just as strong as they had the first time, and I tried not to become dizzy from the sensation.

He opened his mouth to speak, kicking a clump of snow at his feet, "I know what happened at the ball was a disaster. I'm really sorry about it all. I shouldn't have behaved like that and I definitely shouldn't have treated you so cold the week leading up to it."

I nodded encouragingly, happy he was taking responsibility for his part in these later few weeks. He sighed to himself, running a hand through his hair. I couldn't help but admire how it relaxed back into perfect form, little flakes of ice still caught between his auburn tresses.

"I didn't want to go with Cho really, I wanted to take you... but I found out about Carlisle..." he grit his teeth after speaking the name and I winced slightly from his disdain. "The point is I let my pride and emotions get in the way of my judgement and it was stupid. There's stuff I want to tell you Lila, but I don't want it to be like this, not when we are in this weird space."

I nodded again, that made sense to me. There was stuff I wanted to tell him too, but it didn't feel like the right time to confess how I felt about him.

I sighed slightly this time, "I'm sorry too about everything. I shouldn't have reacted so badly but I was hurt. I wish we hadn't argued that night and I wished you would have asked me to go with you to the ball. I would've told Carlisle I couldn't be his date you know."

He smiled slightly at this and I realised how much I'd missed seeing him like that, carefree and happy.

"So do you forgive me for being a gigantic idiot? Can we be real friends again?" He asked, picking at a thread on his trousers.

I pondered this for a moment. We could definitely be friends again, I didn't want to lose Cedric. But I couldn't fully forgive him yet, it wasn't realistic after how hurt I was.

This wasn't one of my books where the characters could continue straight away like it never happened. It would take some time.

"Of course we can, but I need some time to work on the forgiveness thing, if that's okay?" I didn't know why I was asking him for permission, it was up to me if I forgave him or not, but I wanted to reassure him in some way that we would be okay eventually.

"Yeah I understand." He smiled again, complete acceptance in his demeanour, and I released a breath of relief.

"Thank you. Now come on let's go inside, it's chilly." I stood up and inclined my head towards the cosy castle.

He stood up too and shook the snow off his hands. His face went serious again when we made eye contact and he pulled me into a hug. 

I removed my hands from my pockets and hugged him back. My heart did a flip at the intimate gesture, it had felt so long since we'd done something like this.

I'd missed his touch a lot and I wrapped my arms around his strong shoulders, squeezing the tension in his muscles there. I felt his warm breath tickle my neck and he hugged me tighter as I shivered from the contact.

Eventually, we withdrew, satisfied for now with our fix of one another. I blushed at the delighted expression on his face, his pure relief mirrored only by my own.

We walked slowly back to the castle in the familiar amiable silence I'd come to love.