Well, That Was A Thing (Good Omens One-Shots)

20; Two Celestials & A Baby

"How is that even possible?" Asked Anathema, trying to visualize it.

The angel grinned. "Oh, it is. He created the M25, then always gets stuck in its traffic. He'll glue pennies to the sidewalk to fool others but will forget about it the next day, then try to pick them up himself. One day, I was a bit too cheeky for his liking, so he swapped out the sugar for salt. Of course, he messed up and accidentally poured salt into his own coffee. Needless to say, I either married the unluckiest demon alive or the dumbest, depending on the day."

"And I married the sappiest, yet cattiest, angel of all time." Replied the demon as he flipped him off.

Aziraphale smiled knowingly. "You love me for it."

"More than I care to admit, in public... What's with you?" Asked the snake-eyed demon, seeing Anathema's sudden change in body language.

Anathema stopped staring at him, snapping out of it and shook her head. "Sorry. I was checking your aura. It doesn't look normal."

"What do you mean?" He asked, sitting up properly.

"Your aura is usually a very deep red. Like blood, or a ruby. If you were sick, your aura would be the same shade of red, but dingy. It's not that at all." She began.

Crowley narrowed his eyes. "Then what is it?"

Anathema inhaled deeply. "It's your usual red but with a soft pink outline. An unnatural pink outline which is impossible for people to have as their normal aura."

"Oh, for fuck's sake. It's probably Heaven or Hell trying to kill us again. Ugh, I don't have the energy for this right now." Said the demon as he threw himself against the back of the couch.

"Crowley, it's not that... You're pregnant." She finally spit out.

The demon's back straightened and he slowly turned towards Anathema. "...Book Girl, you have 10 seconds to tell me what's actually wrong with me, before I start losing my composure."

"I'm not lying and I'm not wrong."

"9."

"I have no idea how-"

"8."

"I know nothing about demon anatomy-"

"7."

"But you are-"

"6."

"100%-"

"5."

"Without a doubt-"

"4."

"Pregnant."

"...Fuck..." Was all the redhead was able to muster, looking quite terrified in the process.

"That's how you got into this mess." She mumbled.

"Ssssshut it!" He snapped with a hiss.

She didn't obey if that was a command, because she added another one. "What you should've kept shut were your legs. So enlighten me: Since when can demons and angels reproduce? Because that seems like a very forbidden thing."

"It shouldn't be possible. Not even with the right Efforts." He said, still I'm disbelief.

Anathema made a confused face. "The 'Right Efforts'?" She asked.

"Genitals."

She all but gawked. "You can change them?!"

"We're sexless by nature. A real Ken doll situation down there. Unless you feel like having something and make an effort in believing you do." He explained, half-heartedly.