Invisible String

Chapter 19 - Tied Together with a Smile

And then I remembered. I had to go! My heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest as I leaped to my feet. I grabbed my phone from the floor, then turned to go into my bedroom. Alex held my hand, and I shimmied free, but he followed close behind me. He stopped in the doorway and yawned as he watched me frantically run from the closet to my bed, back and forth again, dropping clothes off in a suitcase.

"What's going on? Gotta make a getaway?" He joked. I looked up harshly, and he recoiled. "Hannah? What's wrong?"

He stopped me midway through the room with an overflowing pile of clothes in my arms. He turned my body to face him, but my head hung low, and he pried it up by my chin and made me look up at him. "What's wrong?"

"I have to go."

"Where?" He asked while I pulled away and set the clothes in the suitcase. When I attempted to walk past him to the closet again, he grabbed my shoulders. "Hannah, please, stop. What's going on?"

"It's my grandpa, Alex. I have to go back to Minnesota."

He let me go and watched as I went into the closet to grab shoes. "What happened to him?"

I stopped in the closet doorway, my back to him. "I can't. I just... I have to go."

I came out of the closet with a few pairs of shoes, and he was waiting at the entrance. He put his hands on either side of my face. "Hannah, just talk to me."

"I can't. Not yet. Not now." I choked back tears.

"Please," he rubbed his thumbs on my cheeks, and I couldn't hold them in anymore. My body collapsed against him, and he wrapped his arms tightly around me as I dropped the shoes beside us and lost myself completely to him.

Nothing had ever felt like this before in my life. I'd never lost anyone in my whole twenty-five years of existence. I mean, celebrities I'd admired, and writers, even distant family members that I'd never even met. But, this was someone who had always been a part of my life. Who had been to every birthday, every wedding, every graduation, every Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. I'd never gone much more than a few months without seeing him. He was always around. I always knew exactly when I'd see him next.

Except for this last year, that is. Due to the depression I'd fallen into, and the dedication to my writing, I'd skipped holidays, birthdays, and birth of my brother's youngest baby. I'd missed it all for the sake of my craft. And I missed seeing my grandpa.

My body shook against Alex as every bad thing I'd done came rushing over me. The second-grade dance recital that I'd refused to perform in, due to the beginning of my anxiety. The seventh-grade talent show I intentionally sabotaged so I wouldn't have to subject my entire middle school to broken eardrums. Tenth grade, when I threatened to drop out of school if I couldn't have an alternative method of cutting a frog open for equal credit. And my high school graduation, which should have been a proud moment for my family, but instead became a nightmare when I not only tripped going up the stairs but managed to knock over my principal and bring down three teachers with us when we all fell off the stage. The poor principal had three broken ribs and a broken elbow. Thank God he didn't press charges. And that was just the beginning of it. I'd always been an embarrassment growing up. As much as my parents tried to take pride in everything I'd done, it wasn't until I finally started publishing my work that they could genuinely consider themselves proud.

But my grandpa, well, he always made an effort to tell me how proud he was. It was a gloomy afternoon when my brother was still in college, and I was in-between high school and college when he told me I was his favorite grandchild. We'd been sitting under an umbrella, watching my brother out on the football field, practicing with his friends, and he'd said it so randomly. And I never understood why.

My brother, George, was a superstar. Not literally, but in my family, he was the gem. He was a good boy who always got straight A's. He went to college, got a degree in agriculture, and became a farmer, much to my family's surprise. But every step of the way, he'd had their full support. Unlike when I'd told them that I wanted to be a writer, and that's what I was going to school for. They'd laughed. Really.

And now, here I was, about to lose the one person in my family who had always been by my side, always supportive and always proud of little ole' me. And it felt like I was losing everything.

I sunk to the floor, and Alex followed after me, still clutching onto me like a child around their father's leg. I shook and trembled as the tears kept flowing. He was so lost, bless his heart. I looked at him through the tears, and I'd never seen anyone so terrified. I could tell he wanted to help; he just had no idea how. And that made me love him even more than I thought possible. I curled up against him as the crying slowed down.

After a few minutes of silence, and the end of the tears, he asked, "Hannah?"

"Yeah?" I looked up at him, feeling hollowed out inside.

"I... well, I know we haven't been back together very long, but do you think... I mean, would it be alright if I went with you?"

I turned my head at him, "You want to go with me? To see my dying Grandpa?"

"I want to go for you, Hannah. I know what it's like to lose someone. And I want to be there for you, and I can't do it from a thousand miles away."

"But what about your meetings, and recording and stuff?" I sniffled, wiping away the mixture of snot and tears on my shirt sleeve.

He made a face, but said, "I can put them off for a week or so. However long it takes."

"You don't have to do that, though. I can do this." I said, sniffling loudly, trying to make my voice sound less pathetic.

"I know you can," he said as he brushed my bangs out of my face and kissed my forehead. "But I want to help you through it."

I hesitated, but not because I didn't want him there. But he'd be meeting my family for the first time. And it felt weird for it to be now when everything was going to be crazy.

"You know I'd do anything for you, right?" he asked, his thumb rubbing my chin gently.

I smiled, but it felt so wrong that it instantly faded. He rubbed his fingers down my back and sent chills through me.

"You finish packing, and I'll get the tickets and cars ready, okay?" I nodded, and he stood and walked out of the bedroom, his phone in hand, but leaving me alone on the floor. I grabbed the shoes nearby and pulled myself off the carpet that so badly wanted to comfort me and put the shoes in the bag, then zipped it up and hauled it into the living room. Alex was in the kitchen, making a fresh batch of coffee while still talking on the phone, making arrangements. I looked at the time, and it was almost three in the afternoon. I'd slept far too long.

Alex was off his phone when he came around into the living room. "Come on, let's go." He grabbed his coat and my own and tossed it to me. "You're going to want that. It's chilly out there."

"You got a flight already?"

"Heidi is working on it. She said to just go to the airport, and she'll have something ready by the time we get there. A car is already waiting for us outside right now, and once we get to Minnesota, there will be a car ready for us."

A tiny part of me sighed a small breath of relief. "Thank you, Alex."

He reached out for my bag, and I grabbed my purse after slipping into my coat. "You are very welcome."

"Crap!" I ran into my bedroom quickly and fished around my vanity for a necklace my grandpa had sent me for Christmas this year. It took me a few minutes to find it, and Alex was patiently waiting in my bedroom doorway for me. I lifted it up and smiled as I turned around to show it to Alex. I walked towards him, and he smiled back.

"It's beautiful," he said.

When I reached him, he held out his hand and touched the necklace. It was an outline of an eagle carved from wood—small, roughly an inch long and two inches wide. The eagle's wings expanded on both sides of its body.

"We can go now," I said.

He reached out and held my hand as we left.