Invisible String

Chapter 15 - I Did Something Bad

For six years, I've had a blog where I post about projects I'm working on, excerpts from unpublished books and poems, or to tell those who care how life has been for me recently and then at times to answer fan questions. Due to the enormous amount of comments since Sunday, I haven't been able to check them all, but the ones I have read have ranged from the lovely "Hope you heal soon," to the not-so-nice "Alex is too good for a double-timing twat like you." So, the best way that I figured I could make a statement about Sunday night's events was to come right out and do it on my website. Hopefully, word would spread quickly about my post. Fast enough that this might start to clear up within the week. My fingers were hypothetically crossed.

I grabbed my computer and logged into my blog, then began to work on the post. It was hard trying to figure out the right wording. How could I make it sound believable? How could I make him seem innocent? Anyone who'd been online, watched the news, gone into a store, or listened to the radio in the last two years had seen, or at the very least, heard about Jaiden Bentley's antics. He was hot five years ago–young, fresh, and incredibly famous at sixteen years old. Now he was twenty-one, and making every mistake he could possibly make.

It took me well over two hours to finally come up with a good summary of the night's events. I sat back, proud of my finished product:

For anyone who has concerned themselves with Sunday night's events,

Things are not always so black and white, and the shades of grey between them span much farther than just fifty. Sunday night started off beautifully at the Grammy's, Alex and I enjoyed ourselves immensely at the event and the after-party. When Alex went to retrieve our coats at the after-party, Jaiden Bentley came to say goodbye to me. When walking towards him, I tripped, and my drink flew onto him. Jaiden then attempted to grab me before I completely fell to the ground; however, quick as he was, he wasn't fast enough, and I fell, hitting my head on a window ledge. I was rushed to the hospital, and in a misunderstanding, Alex and Jaiden got into a scuffle. It was all based on misinformation and, overall, a complete accident. The two of them have reconciled. Jaiden and I have spoken since the incident, and he is deeply regretful for something that simply wasn't his fault.

Now, I'm setting the record straight because the media has been doing what it does best: twisting information into lies to hurt others. Not only have Alex and I been terribly upset with this distorted story that's been spreading around, but that people would so easily believe the worst in others. Jaiden, Alex, and I are all on excellent terms. He's a good young man, working hard to turn his life and career around, and something like what the media cooked up was only meant to tear him down. So, please, I advise all fans, family, and friends to wait for the real story, spoken from the mouths of those you care about and admire, to come out before you believe what you read online, in the magazines, and on television.

Thank you to all of those who have been supportive. I am healing fast and already back to my writing. I hope to have my new book out this summer.

Peace and God bless,

Hannah Brink

It was mostly honest. There were only a couple of white lies, and then it was mostly all truth again. I hoped. Because obviously, I had no idea what Jaiden's intentions were as far as turning his career around, but hopefully, he was serious about figuring his shit out because otherwise, his career would be over soon.

The cursor hovered over the 'Publish' button, and I hesitated for a moment, then gave up and pushed it up. God, I hoped I made the right call.

Within minutes there were already views, and comments came quickly after. Some believed it, others thought I was pushed to write this by lawyers or agents, and some didn't care. I honestly appreciated the latter the most. Those ones were going to be talking about us until the next big deal came out, then they'd move on quickly. Whereas, the others might debate about this for weeks to come. And I didn't want that. I wanted to sweep this under the rug and move on to other, more important things, like my writing and world hunger.

I had to shut down the computer for the night, or else I'd end up reading comments until five in the morning the next day. So I got up from the couch, stretched for ten minutes in various yoga positions I'd picked up over the years from crap workout videos, then went into the kitchen to make something to eat. I settled on a ham and cheese sandwich after staring blankly into the white box for five minutes. Then I went back into my bedroom, flipped on the television, and started watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix.

I fell asleep after one episode and woke up to my phone ringing. It was lost in the covers somewhere. By the time I found it, I had thought the call was over, but I clicked the big green button before it disappeared.

"Hello?" No reply. I looked at the phone, turned out the call had connected. "Hello?"

"What did you do?" Alex said solemnly into the phone, and my body tensed.

I groaned, my head fell against the pillow. "What time is it?"

"Seven," he said, clearly irritated.

I yawned and attempted to relax while listening to Alex softly breathing into the phone.

"Hannah, what did you do? You completely lied. Anyone who was at that party would know that. Hell, everyone had phones, how do you know someone didn't get the whole damn thing on video? Then you'll publically be a liar, and we both know what that could mean for your career. Did you even think about that?"

"Alex-"

"No, I know what I did, leaving you alone like that, it was an asshole thing to do. I get that. But this? This was stupid, Hannah. It wasn't payback-"

"Alex, stop."

"No, really, what were you thinking. And what was the point? To help that little asshole of a kid? He is nothing but trouble, don't you see that? And what he did to you, he could easily do it to someone else. Little fuc-"

"Alex, I said stop!" I paused to wait and see if he'd be silent. Thankfully, he was. "I did what I did because I want this to be over. Everything that happened was a huge mistake. And it seemed like the quickest solution." I stopped talking, and the silence went on for too long. "Alex, please say something."

"What in the hell made you think to do something like that?"

I shrugged as if he were in the room with me, and brought my legs up to my chest. "I called him, and we talked about it."

"You called him?"

"Don't say it like that. I called him because I wanted to figure out how to end this. That's all I've wanted since this started. You know that."

"And did he suggest you do this?"

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean, not exactly?"

"I mean, he... well, he asked me to make up something."

"And you agreed to do it?"

"Not at first."

"Then what made you do this?"

"You, Alex. He would've gone after you. I didn't want that. I didn't want the mess. I didn't want the drama. I want you. That's it."

"Does he know that?"

"God! You have got to be kidding me with this shit. I told you that I want you. I chose to be with you. I chose you, Alex!"

He got quiet, then said, "I have to go." I looked at my phone and the call time flashed, indicating the call had been disconnected.

I tossed my phone into the covers and buried my head into a pillow and screamed my freaking lungs out.

Is this right? Is this how new-old-love should be? So complicated and frustrating? Or are all of these things just signs of a relationship that is destined to fail? Because that's how it felt. Like I was driving down a dead-end road with large flashing neon signs predicting disaster ahead.