DnD x Male Gamer Reader

Chapter 3: The Quest Begins

We pick back up with our hero's still sitting at their table, a little drunker than they began.

C/n: So, what should we do first, how does one... start an Adventure?

Misty giggled at me.

Misty: How have you survived this long?

C/n: Good or Bad things just kinda.... happened to me? It's hard to explain.

Bromm: Bromm likes humans thinking! Thinking is for weaklings!

C/n: Guess we should just find someone who needs something done?

Misty: Oh please! As if someone with a Quest will just waltz through that door!

Suddenly, a pale frantic man burst through the door, looking sickly and frightened. The man panted and wheezed with apparent exhaustion.

???: I NEED HELP!

I gloated at Misty with a smug grin. 

She looked flabbergasted, or I assume she did... kinda hard to tell with all the robes covering her.

Misty: It's not like the man of my dreams will just waltz through that door!

I rolled my eyes.

C/n: It doesn't work that way Misty! The Universe only does something convenient when it makes someone else look stupid.

Misty slumped down exasperatedly.

C/n: Good man, what appears to be your problem?

The man looked at me, and I felt my blood run cold.  The look of pure, unadulterated dread on his face made me pause for but a moment.

???: Undead... UNDEAD IN THE VALLEY!

C/n: Calm down, come sit down, relax , and tell us what happened.

The man sauntered over unevenly, slumping down in one of the many chairs.

C/n: What is your name?

???: My name is Rolf, I'm the First Born Son of a Shepherd, my Family owns a sizable Farm outside of Town.

C/n: Well Rolf, my name is C/n, this is Misty, and this is Bromm, we're Adventurers, can you tell us what you saw?

Rolf: Undead, Zombie's, and Skeleton's in the Valley, near Town, they don't seem to be headed this way, but they're too close for comfort.

I nodded my head and tried to comfort the man.

C/n: Did you see a Necromancer with them?  

Rolf shook his head fearfully.

Rolf: I couldn't tell, even so, I don't know what a Necromancer looks like.

C/n: Dark Robes, Necrotic Aura, and a general tendency to laugh maniacally.

Misty: Not all Necromancer's are like that! Some of them Dress like Vampires.

C/n: Ah yes, fuck those guys! How dare villains try to be unique! 

Misty giggled at my joke.

C/n: How many Undead did you see?  How many Zombies and how many Skeleton's?  Was there a Wight among them?

Rolf: A-A W-W-Wight?

C/n: You'd easily be able to distinguish it from the Skeleton's and Zombies, it'd walk with a higher level of reasoning.  Usually heavily armed, and armored.

Misty: You sure know a lot about Undead...

I mean, they're only the most common type of enemy you'll face in DnD.  Good for early game, and REALLY good for late game.  

C/n: I've... encountered them before...

I shook my head to clear it of the terrors of my many 1 v 20 Zombie encounters.  Fucking asshole Rick.

C/n: Anyway... if it's just Zombies and Skeleton's, they'll be easy to defeat.  But if there's a Wight, a Ghoul, a Vampire, or any other Higher Undead, we're fucked.

Rolf swallowed hard.

Rolf: N-No, I don't believe I saw a... Wight.  I believe there were ten Skeletons and eight Zombie's.  

C/n: Where were they?

Rolf: To the east, there is a large farm, I saw them shambling out of the valley.

C/n: There could be a Crypt somewhere over there... while it's rare, low leveled Undead like these are known to spawn naturally.

Misty: Spawn?  L-Like Born?  But they're rotting corpses?

Misty covered her face and shivered in fear.

C/n: N-No, I apologize, I mean they are sometimes created through naturally occurring unnatural phenomena.  Spawn is more of a figure of speech.

Misty: A-Ah, okay...

Misty visually relaxed, causing me to instinctually coo at her.

Misty: H-Hey! I am a full-grown woman! Don't coo at me like I'm a baby!

C/n: You're just so cute when you're scared~

Misty slammed her hands on the table.

Misty: I-I'm not cute!

C/n: Right, just like you're NOT scared of Undead~

Misty: I'm not scared of Undead!

Rolf: P-Please can we continue?

C/n: Hmm? Ah yes.

Bromm: Bromm think Comrad C/n and Comrad Misty are funny!

C/n: I think you're funny too big-guy.  Anyway, did you see which way they were headed?

Rolf: Into the Black Forest, but there's nothing there but miles of deadly woodland.

I nodded my head.

C/n: So, a horde of Undead show up out of the blue, start heading towards a creepy old forest, full of deadly monsters and the like?  I do believe we have an Adventure on our hands!

Rolf: W-what? But they're headed towards the Black Forest, there is no way they'll survive, Undead or not?

C/n: Then why the hell did you freak out so much?

Rolf: I-I don't know... I saw a Zombie and panicked... In hindsight, I may have overreacted.

C/n: Regardless, someone should check out where they came from, for all we know they could just be the first batch.  But before that, we should check out the Undead, make sure they're not dangerous.

Bromm: Bromm agrees with skinny magic man!  

Misty nodded her head.

Misty: If the Adventure drags on long enough, maybe I could make a Ballad... OH OR MAYBE AN EPIC!

C/n: That's the Spirit! Now let's go torch some Spooky Scary Skeleton's!

Misty: What about the Zombies?

C/n: Zombies are just Skeleton's wearing meat armor.

Misty: O-Oh... Gross.