A Murderer Just Vibin' in the Dorm's Kitchen

Sandwich Go Brrrrr

When Hitoshi walked into the kitchen at the unholy hour that is 4am, he was expecting a paralysis demon, a passed out classmate, hell, maybe even Darkshadow. What he did not expect to see, however, was a well known villain- who usually oneshots his victims and is said to be as quick as All Might himself- holding open the fridge door with his foot, bag of bread in his mouth, grabbing for some jelly.
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Look, Izuku wasn't a bad guy, the government, hero society, villain society, and his mother would just heavily disagree with this claim, but that's besides the point- he just wasn't a bad guy. Every now and again, despite being way too powerful for his own good, he wants to go back to his roots. Said roots are breaking into random places, usually houses, making a sandwich and only eating half of it before leaving the rest on the counter as a show of dominance. None of the cases ever showed up on the news, whether that meant people thought themselves crazy, they had made it themselves, a roommate made it for them, or the police wrote it off as a crackhead- he was never discovered. After a while he moved on to more exciting matters like shop lifting, grafiti, wearing horrendous clothes, assault of public nusences, and murder. You know, normal rebellious teenager things.

Going at a set jog, Izuku hurried to his base's location, he knew he had a long, glorious night ahead of him. He wasn't relatively far from it, but it would make things a lot easier for him if he got there sooner than later. The plan was to break into a few houses, all of which belong to heroes who chase after him on the daily, make a sandwich and cut it into triangles before eating the lesser of the two and leaving behind his signature in ketchup on the countertop next to the other half, they'd know he'd been there anyway with their 6th senses and the like, all zeroing in on the disturbance he had caused. That wasn't his main problem though, no, his main problem was that two of said heroes moved into the UA dorm system to watch over the supposid "Hell Class and Salty Others", geeze there are so many problems with that year. Regardless of what they're called, Izuku would still have to break into UA to make a few sandwiches, may as well leave a few for some students, right?

There were also other problems, just not as large- like how spread out his targets were for example. Izuku had spent an entire month stalking Ms.Joke, Eraserhead, Midnight, FatGum, Manual, Sir Nighteye, and Rocklock for this, he was not letting his opportunity go to waste. Apparently there was a meeting going on tonight distracting four of said parties, the remaining three, one of which is going to be on patrol, would need to be aptly distracted so as not to catch him in the act. Midnight would probably be asleep because of the Hell Spawn™, so Izuku just had to be quiet in making the rhubarb jelly sandwich while with Manual things would be a bit more complicated. Izuku decided to traumatize the man while he was still at his agency, because the man doesn't already have enough paperwork as it is. Izuku would set off the fire alarm to draw Manual out of his office, seeing as the man would have to use his quirk to get it under control. That's when he'd strike, making the best peanut butter and banana sandwich the normal hero ever had.

Finally the once-grenette made it to an old warehouse in the Kyushu prefecture. It was one of the poor-er parts of town, perfect for a wanted criminal like himself, not so perfect for innocent people in the suburbs surrounding the area. They were some of his past targets- someone even moved out after he had sandwiched them before, it was a wonderful day.

Grabbing his sketchy dark-green rabbit hoodie mainly to mess with other people and blend into the night, his respiration based voice changer as to breathe when facing Midnight and as not to give away his age and gender, his goggles to hide his malachite-green eyes while protecting them from altercations, and black yoga pants because they make him look hella thicc like the snacc he is. He'd just grab his utility belt, with a fully functioning grappling hook and 8-bit diamond sword from an old video game, on his way out along with the pre-packed jam cooler. Izuku needed to look fabulous for this rare occasion of general insanity, maybe he should pick up some care package, make them one of the Tru Bois™ as he had done with the league.