Scaring The Crows

Chapter Two

"Do I really have to wear this? It's all scratchy and horrible and not to mention how short it is! I don't want the inmates perving on me!" I protested, looking down at the 'nurse' uniform I'd been given. It was hardly appropriate and impractical. He made me look like some low class hooker, and I could see him glare from his desk with my little rant.

"Look, Kristie. I'm a very busy man. I don't have time to make sure all uniforms here are pressed and laundered just to your standard. Maybe you could bring it up with the patient in cell J. Now, if you'd excuse me, I have work to be attending to" Jonathan gestured to the stacks of paperwork on his desk.

"It's not like I want to be here" I whined, looking at the clipboard that had been thrust into my open hands. Papers for each patient. I flicked through them only briefly looking at the names: Pamela Isley, Selina Kyle, the Joker, Harleen Quinzell, Edward Nigma and…Jonathan Crane. No way am I giving him a therapy session.

"Yes, well unless you want to be riddled with bullets I suggest you get on with the job" he replied, stamping some of the papers. "Now, Pammie is in cell number 12. Here are the keys to all the cells here. I'd like to see you work out which is which" he smirked, slamming the door. I looked at the large ring of keys in confusion. Cell 12.

I walked along the claim corridor and stopped after I'd counted to twelve in my head. The battered cell door had been dented, and vines and plants were surrounding it, wriggling into every crevice. The keys were not numbered but all offered subtle clues. I found hers after looking through most of them, the key where the end was a rose. Click. I carefully pushed the door open, only to step on one of the vines.

"BE CAREFUL! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I STEPPED ON YOU?" Ivy shrieked from the corner, running over to sooth the plant that cowered away from me. I swallowed and hid as well as I could behind the board. After she'd yelled at me for about ten minutes she finally calmed down, returning to sitting on her bed. Not in costume she lied in a slouchy grey jumper with her number printed on it and dark green leggings. I sat in the (barely standing) chair opposite her bed.

"You must be Jonathan's new squeeze!" she laughed, sketching a pink potted rose in front of her. I folded my arms.

"If you mean Dr Crane then no, I'm being forced to work here for him" I replied, hiding a small blush back.

"Honey it's obvious you like him. He's not my type really. I never did like the nerdy guys after what happened with the professor. But, whatever floats your boat I guess" she giggled.

"Anyway" I began, trying to change the topic. "How have you been? It says here that you've been prescribed more medication"

"Those pills don't work. Most patients here just gobble them up like sweets" she replied, rolling her bright green eyes.

"Are you coping with the cold weather?" I asked, it being the next question on my sheet.

"Do you know what happens to plants in cold weather? They shrivel up and die. So no, I'm not coping well. I'm having to have my heating on extreme and I'm curled up in so many layers" she spat, her attitude showing.

"I'm sorry to hear that" I said sincerely. How're you feeling though? Everything ok in that head of yours?"

"Yeah, after stealing back an endangered species of rose I'm peachy" she smiled, gesturing to the plant she had been sketching.

I scribbled down some of her answers and stood up. On the bottom of the page were the bold red words of 'do not touch' so I followed it. The handwriting was quite cursive, and joined up, so I assumed it was Jonathan's. I walked out and then securely locked up her cell door again, sighing in relief. That went ok.

"Ooh you must be our new nurse. Another blonde! How coincidental" a voice chuckled behind me. "Sorry, I should introduce myself shouldn't I? I'm the Joker, but you probably already knew that! Haha! God I make myself crack up sometimes, but that's because I'm so funny"

"Jonathan won't be happy to find you out of your cell" I sighed. I'd heard some horrible things about this 'Clown Prince of Crime', and he'd been involved in the death of my father, so I just decided to keep my distance.

"Oh, Johnny won't mind. Actually he enjoys my jokes, sometimes, but he's not a very happy person. He's all busy. Maybe he needs some attention" he winked. I gagged softly.

"Erm, no" I answered honestly. "I thought he was married anyway"

"Who knows. I prefer the past to be multiple choice" he answered.

"Who's this, puddin'?" A high voice squeaked from behind him. So this must be Harley, and she did live up to the red and black jester description I'd heard about.

"This is our new nurse!" He replied with enthusiasm. "Why don't you introduce yourself to her, and vice versa?"

"I'm Kristie Rewlett, nurse here" I sighed.

"Nice to meet you Kristie, I'm the one and only Harley Quinn! Pleased t'meet ya! I think you'll do just fine here"