BTS SMERALDO THE NOTES 2 (Edited & Translated)

Taehyung: 11 April Year 22

I Will Not Give Up
Part 2

"Namjoon, do you really think we had a choice to have become who we are today, or-"

We were in SongJu, in a narrow little alley. The streetlights flickered a little, ominous as can be. The grafitti I did of Seokjin was on the wall before us in all his dark splendour: his slender face, silent, unmoving lips, wispy hair and eyes, empty and void of life.

I had a nightmare last night. My high school friends had been there. Terrible things happened to them. And Seokjin was there to see it all play out, his face void of all emotions. My heart was filled with so much fear when I woke up that I had to come here to this alley to paint this face. it was the only way I could get rid of the uneasiness that hovered over me.

I went to go see Namjoon after that. Before we could even greet each other, he said, "Seokjin is back." It was so sudden. Was my nightmare a coincidence?  Two years ago, he left for the U.S. and I never saw him again.

"He's changed a lot, you know," Namjoon carried on. "I mean, he looks the same, but something feels off. Something within him has changed. It feels as if he has lost something within himself...as if something inside him has unravelled...come undone."

After I heard those words, I grabbed Namjoon's arm and took him to the alley to see the graffiti. I asked him so many questions once we were in front of the graffiti. He didn't answer them. He stood there, wordlessly looking up at the face.

He never asked me why the eyes never had pupils. I was sure that Namjoon never questioned it because Seokjin had actually looked like that when he first saw him.

"I was too scared to give the eyes pupils," I admitted.

The truth was, I remembered every detail about Seokjin's eyes. I had no issue recalling the emotions that flittered in his gaze, the colors, the unspoken sadness and tragedies he had seen. But the minute I tried to give the grafitti that same life, all I could see was Seokjin's cold gaze, different from his past self, void of emotions.

I picked up my spray can again, hoping to finally give his soulless eyes life, but I just couldn't do it.

"Do you have Seokjin's number?" I finally asked.

"Why?"

"I need to ask him about something."

"About what?"

"I'm not sure yet, but I need to see him. The questions will come to me then," I replied.

Namjoon's phone rang. It was Hoseok.

"Why aren't you here yet, Namjoon? Yoongi, Jungkook and I are waiting for you at your place!" I heard Hoseok say.

It was time to go.

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