[EN] Oneshots

Thoughts of a broken Ámbar

I fell. I feel and fell and just didn't stop falling. Why? Why did he have to leave me? Why did he have to push me into this deep hole when he was supposed to catch me? He had sworn that he would and now he just stood there at the edge of the cliff and watched me fall. His face hard, with no emotions on it. And maybe his heart looked the same. No! I couldn't stand the thought of it. Of his heart, which usually was so full of warm feelings, stone cold. Towards me. Because of me. Because I had made a silly mistake months ago. Because I couldn't stop him finding out ...

Just a few days ago we were so in love. I had started to imagine us as a couple, as one. And then suddenly all went down. His love for me seemed to disappear in just a few days' time. And I stood there, unable to do something against it. I tried, I really tried, but every attempt had been useless. He didn't want to see me again. I started one more attempt and confessed everything to him. I told him exactly how I felt, I even told him that I loved him, even if it's a really hard thing for me to do and he knows it, but still ... he didn't believe me. And that was the moment, when he pushed me over the edge. The moment I lost the grip under my feet.

I had lost the person, who meant the world to me, who made me change and expose my real self. The person who made me feel real love for the first time. I mean, yeah, I had liked Matteo when we had been together, but it hadn't been such a deep, warm feeling as it was whenever I was around Simón. With him, everything was different. Things were different, I was different. But now, without him, there wasn't a reason for being vulnerable anymore. I had unintentionally taken the risk of being hurt and now look at me. Sitting here crying, heartbroken, because I couldn't stop myself from falling in love. Maybe my godmother was right when she said that it wasn't a good thing to let feelings take control. But how could it be wrong when the time I spent with Simón had been the best time of my life? And when all I wanted to do now was repeat it over and over again. Screw Sharon. My heart was screaming and there was no way not to listen. I wanted him. I wanted Simón to be a part of my life and I wasn't ready to give him up yet. Even though he didn't seem to want me anymore, I would fight for him, for us. But first, I needed a little break. I needed a bit of time to refresh, to catch new energy, and then ... then I'd do anything to get him back. Because he was the best thing, that happened to me. I didn't have a clue what I'd do, but I hoped that it wasn't too late when I had an idea. Because if it was, if he had already forgotten about me at that point, it would tear me apart. The thought of him being with someone else, stabbed me in the chest painfully. No, I couldn't let this happen. I needed him and I could just hope that his feelings towards me were strong enough to give me a second chance.

I wiped away the tears and went to my mirror. I looked horrible. Red, swollen eyes and my hair was a mess. I started to fix myself. In a few minutes I'd have to go downstairs for dinner and if Sharon would see me like this ... Let's just say that the dinner would be even more unpleasant than they already were. So I covered my pain once more and made my way downstairs. I just had to survive the next thirty minutes before I could hide under the covers of my bed again. Why did love have to hurt so much? And why did I want it anyway? More than anything else ...

I don't know what exactly this is but okay xD