Winfred

80

I turned my gaze from the box to him, before looking back at the box. I opened it.

The lining inside was satiny and black in color. There in the midst of the black background…

“The Iron Cross,” I said, picking it up, the metal cold against my hands. I looked at Freidrich. “Is this yours?”

He nodded.

I smiled somewhat, attempting to lighten his mood. “All those medals on your jacket and you leave off the most prestigious one.”

“A conscious decision, really.”

I looked down at the award, its small size quite deceptive in terms of how important this medal was considered within the German army.

“Roderich…” began Freidrich, slowly. “Was somewhat influential in my receiving the award…” He frowned deeply, before continuing. “I was being considered for it, already, but Roderich pushed for it. It was at the beginning…when he first noticed that I was falling away from the Nazi ideals. I suppose he thought it would…I don’t know…remind me of what I ought to do…at least what I should do according to his opinion. Or perhaps he believed it would awaken a new sense of pride for Hitler’s cause. I don’t know…But when I hear from him…I remember it. Looking at it…It reminds me of all I’ve left, all that’s at stake, and all that I will, eventually, have to face.”

I looked up at him, then back at the award. “Do you…ever wear it?”

He shook his head. “I never have.”

I studied the medal, thinking. “Maybe you should.”

“Or perhaps not,” he said, frowning.

I continued. “They must certainly regret giving it to you now…”

“No doubt,” he said, wryly.

“I suppose they are content to know that you do not wear it. If they cannot see it…it might make it easier to forget what they probably now feel is a mistake.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

“So if you were to wear it, they’d have to remember. Certainly…they would be somewhat provoked, but what can they do? It’s your award; you have the right to wear it, do you not?”

He was silent, his gaze fixed on the Iron Cross, which I had cupped in my hands.

“If you wear it, it stands for something different than it might stand for if it were any other German officer, and they can’t deny it.” I laid the medal back upon its satin background and closed the lid to the box, setting it aside once more.

Freidrich was studying his hands again.

After a moment’s hesitation, I reached my hand across his desk and rested it on his. He tensed, slightly, before relaxing and turning his hand to hold mine, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“You should get some sleep,” he told me, raising his eyes to meet mine. “It’s become quite late.”

“Are you going to bed?” I questioned him, frowning.

He laughed slightly, before giving my hand a small pat and smiling tiredly. “Don’t worry about me,” he said.

I raised one eyebrow. “I’d like to propose a deal.”

“Oh?” he said, feigning surprise as he leaned back in his chair, letting go of my hand as he did so. In the absence of the warmth of his hand, I felt almost as though I were less whole. I pulled my hand back and held it in my lap.

“Yes,” I continued, pressing on. “I’ll go to bed if you will.”

He shook his head. “I have…” He looked around at the papers all over his desk. “Things to do.”

“Come on,” I said, standing. “I’ll help you with…all of that…” I gestured to his desk. “In the morning.”

He was silent for a few moments, as though considering. Finally, he sighed, before he stood as well. “Alright,” he said, surrendering. I waited for him to retrieve his jacket and cap and put them on.

We walked out of the office together, as we had the night of my birthday. I waited while he locked the office door.

He then turned and looked at me. “It’s locked for the night,” he said. “Are you happy now?”

I nodded, before, on a sudden impulse, wrapping my arms around him and resting my head on his chest. His heartbeat was steady but, unless I was imagining it, it quickened as I felt him hesitantly return my hug.

“Tonight,” I said, softly. “Try to get some sleep…Forget about everything for one night.”

I felt him nod. “Alright,” he said.

I let go and, feeling somewhat embarrassed for the blush that had tinged my cheeks when I hugged him, I immediately turned and hurried down the hallway, turning the corner at the end.

***

I'll keep this short! Sorry I haven't updated in a while; my wifi was out. I'm back to, hopefully, updating somewhat regularely, but I'm also back at Uni from Christmas break so updates could be slower. On another note, I will, soon, be posting art of the characters in the sidebar. It will just be little stuff I draw, but I hope you will enjoy it. :) If any of you would like to draw art, feel free. XD Anyways, I'll move on now! I hope you like the next few chapters. :D Thanks for reading! PS: I will not add more author's notes in the future unless I have something super important to say.