Various The Umbrella Academy One Shots

An Ordinary Haunting (requested)

"I don't think you're old enough to come in here with me, Benny-boy, you'll have to wait outside."

This was not the first time Klaus had said this, nor would it be the last, and it managed to remain exactly as unfunny this time as it had every time other time he had said it. There was never anything malicious intended by this, of course, but with his ghostly brother stuck as an eternal just-sixteen year old that was accidently-on-purpose tethered to him, Klaus could not help but make the occasional joke at the other's expense. Humour often did make the darker thoughts softer when the situation called for it, and the situation did call for it more often than not.

"And where would I go?" came the response from Ben Hargreeves, looking just the same as he did when he died nearing on fifteen years ago, his arms folded in a way that seemed equally a show of disapproval and a protective sort of gesture, "If you haven't forgotten," a subtle dig at the living man's self destructive lifestyle that he had no choice but to bare witness to with no way to intervene, "It's not like I can go anywhere else."
Perhaps if Klaus had let his powers grow a little more then the lad would have had more of a chance to roam about the earth that he could not quite connect to anymore, but unfortunately with each foolish decision that was made, the less of a chance for free reign was made possible.

"Well, I'm sure they'll have something you could have," Klaus pondered, this being more hypothetical than literal as there was no way a dead man could drink, "Would you like a nice appley juice?"

"Shut up."

"Such language!" exclaimed The Séance, his hand daintily fluttering to chest in a way that seemed more fitting for an old timey melodrama, "As your older brother, I have to take care of my dearest younger brother now, don't I?"

"We are the same age." protested The Horror, who was not technically incorrect with this, but given the fact he was unable to keep aging after his death - one of the problems with being a ghost, Ben had noticed and never been able to forget, was the horrible permanence of his state of being in a world that was made to be wonderfully impermanent and fluid, not rigidly stuck in one eternal state - he was also not completely correct in his assumption.

"I wear it better, kiddly-wink."

One issue with Klaus' power was that he was very used to seeing things that nobody else could, and because he could see it, he could also interact with them. This was not an issue on the more personal level, but unfortunately for anyone who happened to see him they would be seeing a man in brightly coloured attire talking animatedly to the empty air, gesticulating wildly and seemingly having one half of a full conversation. Any negative attention he attracted was usually able to wash right over him, while the positive would be absorbed, a happy if not slightly self absorbed life if ever there was one.

"Is that what you call it?" was the reply to this, amusement flittering in his voice in a way that made him seem almost alive, quite literally a ghost of his former self.

"And what would you call it?" he asked, deciding that he had been lurking out on the street for a little bit too long, and had taken this as a cue to saunter his way into the dingy little pub he had been eyeing curiously.

"I'd call it being stupid, that's what."

This was met with an almost barking laugh as Klaus had not bothered to try and hide his possibly slightly misplaced amusement. Even if he did let the idea of Ben's comment being more than a joke settle for a moment, he actively refused to let it go to heart. Of course his brother's opinion of him mattered to him, more so than he would have liked to admit even, but he was so far down his narcissistic spiral of both self preservation and self destruction that the wisdom of the dead would do little to help.

"It's not a joke, Klaus," continued the spirit, "I didn't get to be an adult, and now I'm stuck watching you waste your adulthood. That's stupid and I know you can see it."

"Too bad I can't hear a word you're saying, Benedict, because I'm sure it was absolutely fascinating." Both of them knew that the sort of hearing Klaus had with the dead was different to ordinary sounds, as the ghostly voices came on a different plane so it wasn't heard in the same, or rather correct, way.

Ben had never even been able to reach an age where he could drink, but watching those scattered about the building - there was a little bit of him that felt as if he wasn't meant to be there, but given that he had died he technically wasn't meant to be anywhere, so he could push this thought away pretty easily - he realised he could not really see the appeal of poisoning one's mind for a brief period of time. Having a mind that could grow was a wonderful thing, and it seemed to be such a waste to just throw that away.
Fortunately without worldly senses, he didn't have to smell the place. Pungent drinks and an undercurrent of bodily odours filled the air in a way that would easily have made his nose curl if he had to smell it himself. Logically speaking, he knew that Klaus was somewhere nearby as he wasn't being dragged about by a rhetorical chain back to him, but he noticed pretty quickly that The Séance had quite quickly slipped off into the crowd.

So completely surrounded by life as he was at that moment, all that The Horror could really be aware of was the fact that his one life had been so unfairly snuffed out before he was given the opportunity to experience it himself.