Hard to Find

Epilogue

"Jay," she turns toward us. "Can I listen to your music?" She points at the record player. He lets go of me and walks over.

"What do you want to listen to?" They sift through his copious amount of records. After choosing one, he says, "You get to listen to one song, then you have to do your homework."

She peers up at him with the most dramatic pouty face, and I stifle laughter. Those two are inseparable, and spitting images of one another, down to their personalities. She's fiery, just like Jayden, but much more subtle about it. Meaning she can convince him to do just about anything she wants.

You'd think after years of law school he'd be able to notice her tactics, but I guess once you're a parent, all knowledge goes out the window. Your love for your child clouds your judgment.

However, not only are they best friends, so are we. She brought a light into my life I didn't know existed. And she may not be my blood, but I sure as hell treat her. I'd take a bullet for that little girl.

I remember wondering what life would be like after she came into ours. I didn't think I could love anyone more than Jayden, but somehow that happened. Discreetly, I clutch my stomach. If I love Ellie and Jayden this immensely, I wonder how I'm going to have enough space in my heart for the little nugget growing inside me.

"You sure you're okay?" Jayden reappears beside me.

"Yeah, I think I'm getting my period." The lie comes out before I have the chance to think.

"Do you need me to get you anything? A compress? Tea?"

I wave dismissively, telling him I'm alright, and thank him with a kiss. I feel guilty for withholding the news, but I don't think now is the right time to tell him. Plus, I enjoy being the only one who knows.

When the song is over, I call Ellie to the kitchen table. She begrudgingly walks over, with her backpack slung over her shoulder and her empty milkshake cup in hand.

"When you're done, we're going to the pumpkin patch with Marlee, Dylan, and Penelope," I say, and Ellie's eyes glisten with excitement. She tugs her school books from her bag and gets to work.

I chuckle, meeting Jayden in the kitchen. "An incentive always gets children going."

He shakes his head in disappointment, but I see the laughter itching to come out.

After Ellie finishes her homework and we eat dinner, we bundle ourselves for the biting autumn weather. I wrap a scarf around Ellie's neck, and during our car ride, I see her take it off in the side mirror.

She notices me staring, and says, "It's strangling me."

"Okay, but give it to me to carry because I don't want you getting sick. Your mother would kill me."

"I'm a big girl, I don't get cold."

Jayden reaches back, squeezing her knee. "I don't think it works like that, El," he says, and I snort at his remark.

We pull into a parking spot beside Marlee and Dylan. The second I step out of the car, the wind picks up, blowing my hair awry. A chill creeps through my body, and I pull my jacket snug around me. All remnants of summer have disappeared by now, replaced by the crisp fall weather.

"Hey, Sky." Marlee pulls me into a hug while the men get the kids out of the car. Eventually, Dylan and Jayden both appear holding the girls. We all greet each other with big hugs, and when I get the chance, I reach for little Penelope with greedy hands.

"Come to Auntie Sky, sweet-pea!" I squeal, taking her from Dylan. She coos, mumbling incoherent words into my ear, and I walk her toward Ellie, who has been waiting to see her all weekend.