broken as i • a kylo ren story

iv (xxiii)

"hey hey hey. are you good?" luke snapped your thought in half.

"i dont-"

"can i ask you something?"

"sure."

"what is reason of you suddenly going...asking for help?" he corrected himself. "you said that you were suffering for a long time, so why go now?"

you knew that you were going to have to answer the question sooner than later. if you were in lukes position, you would have asked it a while ago.

"i shattered someone's heart, while doing the same to mine in the process. the trauma...the pain of my family leaving me caused me to do such a evil thing, and i couldnt live like that anymore. i needed to get help. to fix myself."

luke now understood why you were asking such random and intense questions a while ago. "i understand. would you care to explain it to me?"

your heart dropped. you didnt know if you should tell luke or not, but after all- he was the one who was helping you out. you trusted luke, and it wasnt like he was going to know kylo...right?

"okay." you breathed. "right when i met kylo, we kind of...clicked?-" you were interrupted by lukes small gasp.

"is everything okay? oh gosh...do you know kylo or something?" you questioned. you hoped that the answer to your later remark would be a simple no.

luke decided to tell you the truth...but leave out certain details of it.

"why of course i do. he is one of the most feared persons in the entire galaxy."

you kept forgetting that kylo was seen as this super evil guy to everyone else. you still didn't understand why that was though...

"he is the supreme leader of the first order! he actually had a deep search to find me, because he...he wanted to kill me." luke chuckled a bit.

you were thrown back a bit on why he was laughing about how someone wanted him dead.

"since i was the last jedi or whatever, he made it a goal. im actually surprised that he hasnt come here and done the deed yet... it is a bit strange. im not complaining i guess, but you would think the man would have gotten it over with because he knows my location."

you feel a bit wide eyed. "wow...this is all very new information to me."

"have you been dead for the last year? everyone knows about this stuff!" luke said as you laughed at his comment.

"i dont... i dont know. on tatooine, i was too busy caring for my brother that i wasnt really interested in the galaxy war stuff." you shrugged. "also, what do you mean when you said last jedi or whatever?"

"a girl named rey came to this very island not to long ago and i pretty much trained her to become a jedi...sort of. she kind of left to go to ky-"

"wait what?" you exclaimed.

"n-"

"luke tell me!"

"look, i dont really know the whole story but she left to help kylo out to do something. like i said, i dont really know."

you were baffled by this. why was a jedi helping out kylo? and more importantly, why didnt he just ask you? you were slightly hurt by this, but not much. you were more concerned about the information luke was telling you.

"okay. sorry for interrupting, you can continue."

"it's alright. as i was saying, im not really the last jedi anymore. so yeah, you could say that i know him. so, back to what you were saying."

"uh....right. kylo and i clicked or whatever and became super close. wait, this is weird. im sharing my love life to a je- whatever. anyways, we started hanging out more and more, we had a couple of our moments, we did some stuff- not really feeling like getting into the details, and he ended up telling me he loves me."

luke was blown away by this. of course you didnt know that him and kylo were related- you barely even remembered that kylo was a well known guy, so when he heard you say that kylo started saying those words to you, his mind couldn't comprehend it for multiple reasons.

the first one was that luke didnt even believe kylo was able to say those words. he knew deep down that kylo hasnt turned to the dark side completely, but he barely even told his parents he loved them! the second reason was he didnt think that his nephew was able to love. he thought that the dark side wasnt fond of love- just like the jedi, so this shocked him. he knew that asking you these questions werent going to do anyone any good, so he decided to just keep them to himself.

"when he told me this, my past trauma totally took over my brain. i freaked out and ran out the door and decided that i needed to get help. i knew that there was nobody to help me in the first order, so some of my friends helped me escape and the rest is history. so pretty much, kylo telling me he loved me started this whole thing. im not blaming him, im actually thankful in a way. if it wasnt for him, i wouldnt be here- getting the guidance i need. the part that set it off was me knowing that i love him too, but the pain prevented me from telling him."

luke was in awe, once again. did kylo pretty much bring you to him?

"wow, y/n i am-"

"trust me...i know. thats what you get for falling in love with a man like him!" you snickered a bit.

luke simply nodded his head. he knew that he would need a couple days to recover from all the information being thrown at him.

"it feels good being able to rant to someone about this. thank you." you confessed to luke.

"of course. im going to go back to my hut, see you tomorrow." luke ran out as quick as possible.

you ignored the fact that luke was acting a bit weird after you finished your rant. did you share too much? was he uncomfortable with the information?

you fell asleep to your own boring thoughts that were rummaging in your mind. you were thrilled for the next day. the next day of your journey to healing.

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authors note

im sorry i havent been updating that much. from now on, i will probably only be updating once a day due to the horrible thing called school. i apologize :(

                                                                       -i.t